What was the Stupidist War in History?

[Joe R. Golowka]

Originally posted by DingBat


You say that like you really believe that is still possible.

Perhaps back in the 70's you could still measure economic "sphere's of influence". Now, the economies of nations are becoming so interwoven that talking like you could choose not to be influenced by some country is not realistic.

Of course it's possible. Today the US sphere of influence engulfs almost the entire globe. The economic integration we see now, done in the manner we see now, is a relatively new phenomena on the grand scale of world history. I see no reason it couldn't reverse sometime in the next century or two. Who knows what dirrection the future will go? I certainly don't. There are still countries which havn't come under the US sphere of influence, like North Korea.

 

[Case]

Originally posted by Vrylakas
the Americans lost 250,000 dead in World War

I'm pretty sure that America lost about 60,000 dead in WW1 (roughly the same number as Australia)

 

[sgrig]

Originally posted by Case


I'm pretty sure that America lost about 60,000 dead in WW1 (roughly the same number as Australia)

According to this website http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0004617.html ,

US had 116,000 dead in WW1, and about 204,000 wounded, making up a total of 320,000 casualties.

 

[smokeyjoe]

There was a war in 1739 that was called "The War of Jenkins Ear". Whilst this was not a particualy stupid war, as it was really a war about trading routes between England and Spain, it certainly must go on record as having the dumbest name of any war.

 

[Chairman Qu]

My favourite has to be the Paraguay v. everyone else war. Reminds me of the time when the Zulus declared war on me, but the only problem was that India was in between. So they sent their Impis into Indian territory, got war declared on, and with a RoP and military alliance, we blew the Impis to hell.

But anyway, since the other dumb wars I can remember have been mentioned, here's another one: the 1960's Sino-Indian war for a piece of completely useless and uninhabitable (except maybe for those on the run) mountain land. Now, this war still has very serious implications, and is all too often overlooked, but simply as a war of men against men, rather than of politics, it was absolutely absurd. India's army got it's ass kicked - no surprise there, since the Chinese side of the region was easily defendable and India's army was, in comparison, puny.

http://www.centurychina.com/plaboard/uploads/1962war.htm

 

[Vrylakas]

Chairman Qu wrote:

But anyway, since the other dumb wars I can remember have been mentioned, here's another one: the 1960's Sino-Indian war for a piece of completely useless and uninhabitable (except maybe for those on the run) mountain land. Now, this war still has very serious implications, and is all too often overlooked, but simply as a war of men against men, rather than of politics, it was absolutely absurd. India's army got it's ass kicked - no surprise there, since the Chinese side of the region was easily defendable and India's army was, in comparison, puny.

Ah, there's another example. Similar situation. Was it only two or three years ago that Greece and Turkey almost went to war...again...over a temporary island, uninhabited, in the middle of the Aegean? The story started when a Turkish ship radioed a distress signal and managed to limp towards the seasonal islet. A Greek military vessel nearby refused help and said, BTW, get off our island. Some Turkish journalists got ahold of the story and went and hung the Turkish flag on the island. The Greeks responded by tearing down the Turkish flag and hoisting the Greek one.... Next thing you know you have the Greek and Turkish navies steaming towards the island and using increasingly threatening language en route....

President Clinton had to do some arm-twisting to make both navies pull back from the brink. Of all the idiotic reasons for a war, is a small group of uninhabited stone outcrops in the middle of the sea worth getting young men killed for?

 

[knowltok2]

Originally posted by Richard III

I mean, hey, I believe it mattered. Anyone who saw my fellow citizens stomping on the stars and stripes because we won a hockey game could beleive it. If we'd lost, I tell ya', the Princess Patricias Canadian Light Infantry would have been marching on Minneapolis...

R.III

Gee, I didn't stomp on the Canadian flag at that time. BTW, do your military planners know that RMsharpe lives in Minnesota? 'twould be a tragic end to said Girlie named infantry.

I'm no military unit historian, but I can't think of any American Unit with such a weak sounding name. Buffalo Soldiers, Screaming Eagles, Big Red One, etc. I just can't think of any along the lines of Princess Powder Puff Brigade, or the Princess Britney Spears division. Somehow the threat of Canadian invasion doesn't concern me much. Less so now that I know how you name your units.

 

[eyrei]

Originally posted by VoodooAce
Ah, yes.....the Soccer War.

Has to rate up there at the top. I'm sure men have come up with even dumber reasons to go to war, but this is the dumbest one I know of.

Change my vote!

Was this actually called the soccer war? I could really use some funny reading at the moment. Could you direct me to a source?

 

[Richard III]

Originally posted by knowltok2


Gee, I didn't stomp on the Canadian flag at that time. BTW, do your military planners know that RMsharpe lives in Minnesota? 'twould be a tragic end to said Girlie named infantry.

I'm no military unit historian, but I can't think of any American Unit with such a weak sounding name. Buffalo Soldiers, Screaming Eagles, Big Red One, etc. I just can't think of any along the lines of Princess Powder Puff Brigade, or the Princess Britney Spears division. Somehow the threat of Canadian invasion doesn't concern me much. Less so now that I know how you name your units.

Oh, I'm sorry, and I'd thought you were TERRIFIED at the idea until I wrote all that! My father - once a gunner in Canada's artillery regiment - has a few stories about painting over PPCLI signs with "welcome to fairyland" and lots of pretty flowers and so on. Military pranks - they're the best.

As for the flag thing, Canadians have this weak nationalism issue that makes us (or most of us) obsessive about how we compare to the US, so a hockey victory is something like conquering Ohio would have been to the Confederacy. As I noted, I suspect El Salvador and Honduras have the same problem.

And, in fairness, I should show more respect for the Pat's; they are sharing foxholes with the 101st and 10th in Kandahar and Gardez as we speak.

And yes, Eyrie, it really was called the soccer war. A book by that name by a professional war correspondent has a mid-sized article in it about it, and Magnus posted a less entertaining article about the same earlier in this thread. Read back, and I cite a few details from the article in question. Otherwise, all I can say is that I have been looking for a better source all my life, but I've had to make do with snippet references in central american history textbooks like "Inevitable Revolutions."

R.III

 

[Flatlander Fox]

A bit off-topic:

We recieve a Canadien Invasion every weekend here at Ft. Frozen Tundra, as flannel clad Canuck women search out "real" (American) men. Not the Sissy Princess Mountie Boy division...

I have met many wonderful Canadiens on this forum, and learned alot about their country from their views and musings.

And since they FINALLY won a gold medal in hockey ('bout time), now they have something to hang over our heads...

On topic: After seeing first hand the carnage caused over smelly, dirty, nasty, muddy, rocky, cold, resources barren Kosovo, I think that ethnic hatred can cause anything...

 

[knowltok2]

Originally posted by Richard III

As for the flag thing, Canadians have this weak nationalism issue that makes us (or most of us) obsessive about how we compare to the US, so a hockey victory is something like conquering Ohio would have been to the Confederacy. As I noted, I suspect El Salvador and Honduras have the same problem.

R.III

Hey, I live in Ohio, I know your talking about the Confederates, but don't even joke about conquering Ohio. We've mined Lake Erie just in case, and the Ohio-Michigan border is the most heavily fortified this side of Korea. Don't get any ideas about sneaking down the other way either. We've dug a giant ditch between Ohio and Pennslyvannia that we can flood in an instant. Your Princess Patty can become the little mermaid at the flip of a switch.

Sorry. Rampant statism turned off now. I'll just run along and take my medicine. :crazyeyes

 

[Hitro]

You guys really know nothing about soccer.
I'd much rather go to war for soccer reasons than for such stupid things like religion, race, nation, etc.

But more seriously, in a way WW2 is the most stupid war ever, at least the european part. I mean it was fought because the Nazis thought they were the masterrace and superior to everybody else. Now if that ain't stupid... :crazyeyes

 

[Sodak]

Originally posted by knowltok2
...don't even joke about conquering Ohio. We've mined Lake Erie just in case, ...

No need to lay mines - If the canadians start to cross it, just set it on fire again!

 

[knowltok2]

Originally posted by Sodak

No need to lay mines - If the canadians start to cross it, just set it on fire again!

I'll have you know it was a river that caught fire, not the lake. Jeeze, catching a lake of fire would be a big deal .

On that note, we have tried repeatedly to sell Cleveland to another state, and have even offered it to several foriegn governments. We won't accept the Canadian offers, but if some other nation wanted it we could arange something reasonable. EZ credit, EZ terms!

Unfortunately we have had no takers on our offers, though Ireland did offer to take it off our hands if we paid them a Billion dollars. While we were tempted, we decided it would be cheaper to declare them independant and then declare war on them. That is our last resort of couse, we are a reasonable peaceable people, but we don't like to rule anything out. We are currently unsure what would happen after we win such a war. The whole point being to divest ourselves of the "mistake on the lake"

What is a respectable midwestern state to do?

 

[Richard III]

The astonishing thing is how hard Harrison and Perry fought to keep Lake Erie. God, what a waste of talent. Beleive me, if we invade, well, trust me: Columbus is not our primary target .

Patricia and all the other lads from the prairies will be busy pretending to conquer all that "valuable" farmland in Wisconsin, but anybody who knows Canadians knows that the slightly more masculine "Vingt Douze" regiment and our massive, prepositioned fifth column of 58 year old 'Canadiens' will be taking Florida back from Jeb any day now.

"Oh, Canada,
Our Home and Native Land,
From which we flee
For palm trees, sun and sand
Our frozen hearts
Melt at the sight
Of a timeshare condo hut..."

etc.

R.III

 

[Richard III]

I just realized that my lyrics above don't actually match properly with the tune.

Says something, doesn't it?

 

[Modern Hoplite]

World War I was a very pointless and stupid war. I think we made a lot of technological achievements, so at least we got that. I alos think the Peloponisian Wars were stupid, why exactly did Sparta and Athens go to war? And all that came out of it is that Sparta had to side with Persia and the rest of Greece looked down on that. To me, Athens > Sparta.

 

[FredLC]

Which should be considered the stupidest war? One that you go in for pathetic reasons, or one that you go in knowing that you can’t win? I’d vote for the second option.

As far as the “soccer war” is a stupid thing, I think that the worst is the war against USA that the Talibans brought upon their homeland with the September 11th bombing.

It seems to me like a guy in a bicycle trying to force a truck of the road. All you manage to accomplish is to get blown into oblivious.

Utter nonsense.

Regards .

 

[Lefty Scaevola]

I rather doubt Omar and the Pasthun Taliban were in the loop before Sept 11, although they certainly erred in not coooperating when the ultimatum was given to them later. But of course they would be lothe to give up they long time allies, and Al Qaeda had close to as much effective force and Omar's taliban did. fewer guys, better equiped and trained. But I can just imagine Omar Saying to Usama "Couldn't you have pick a smaller Satan than the GREAT one to piss off".

 

[sgrig]

Originally posted by Lefty Scaevola
I rather doubt Omar and the Pasthun Taliban were in the loop before Sept 11, although they certainly erred in not coooperating when the ultimatum was given to them later. But of course they would be lothe to give up they long time allies, and Al Qaeda had close to as much effective force and Omar's taliban did. fewer guys, better equiped and trained. But I can just imagine Omar Saying to Usama "Couldn't you have pick a smaller Satan than the GREAT one to piss off".

Yeah, I guess Omar is not too happy with Osama right now! Because of him, Omar lost his country!