What was the Stupidist War in History?

Originally posted by Richard III
The astonishing thing is how hard Harrison and Perry fought to keep Lake Erie. God, what a waste of talent. Beleive me, if we invade, well, trust me: Columbus is not our primary target ;).

R.III

Exactly why our defenses are so strong. :tank: Wisconsin and Florida you can have. Imported Cheese tastes nice, and if you don't grant Americans rights in Florida, we will just sink it. Hah ;)
 
For me the stupidest war has to be "The War Of Jenkins' Ear". Although it has a great name the actual war was entirely pointless. However I have to say that WWI was a close second because the only reason they fought was because it was easier to have a war than not too.
 
The war on drugs only looks stupid if you believe it's proponet's propaganda. Supposidly drugs are outlawed because they're bad for you, but putting people in prison is just as bad if not worse. The war on drugs has more to do with making money for prison contractors and expanding government power then with actually getting rid of drugs. From that point of view it's actually quite intelligent in a sadistic sort of way. Trick most people into supporting your expansion of power while making lots of money. For certain segments of the power elite, that's a bargain.
 
Originally posted by rmsharpe
Stupidest war, eh? Hmm...

I'd have to say the War of 1812.

"Well, we got our butts kicked by those Americans last time...maybe this time we'll do better! Viva Britian!"

Actually, the US declared war on Britain. It's also lucky that Britain was "distracted" by the Napoleonic Wars, or the US might have been in a world of hurt. As it was, Britain spanked the US pretty hard on a number of occasions (Washington WAS sacked, you know). It WAS a dumb war, but it wasn't BRITAIN who was being stupid...
 
Originally posted by knowltok2


I'll have you know it was a river that caught fire, not the lake. Jeeze, catching a lake of fire would be a big deal ;) .

On that note, we have tried repeatedly to sell Cleveland to another state, and have even offered it to several foriegn governments. We won't accept the Canadian offers, but if some other nation wanted it we could arange something reasonable. EZ credit, EZ terms!:)

Unfortunately we have had no takers on our offers, though Ireland did offer to take it off our hands if we paid them a Billion dollars. While we were tempted, we decided it would be cheaper to declare them independant and then declare war on them. That is our last resort of couse, we are a reasonable peaceable people, but we don't like to rule anything out. We are currently unsure what would happen after we win such a war. The whole point being to divest ourselves of the "mistake on the lake"

What is a respectable midwestern state to do? :confused:

We could arrange a swap: Illinois will take Cleveland, but Ohio will have to take Chicago. :eek:

If you act now, you will receive East St. Louis at no extra cost. :nuke:
 
Washington WAS sacked, you know
I wonder if they teach American kids why the White House is white? Anyway were the British just getting revenge because the American burnt something of ours? Anyway, it is good to know that at least once in history the British made the President of the United States run away.
 
Originally posted by MrPresident

I wonder if they teach American kids why the White House is white? Anyway were the British just getting revenge because the American burnt something of ours? Anyway, it is good to know that at least once in history the British made the President of the United States run away.

Yes, the Yankees burnt York (Toronto). I am staring at the bit they burnt from my office window as I write. Yankee bastards! :D The burning of Washington was in direct retaliation.

Yes the US declared war first.

But no, I'm not so sure they were stupid to do so, however full of stupidities the war was (e.g. Detroit, the 1812 and 1813 American campaigns on the Niagara front, New Orleans, the RN's foolhardy willingness to underestimate American sailors, the foolish American habit of assuming the loyalty of US immigrants into Canada during early offensives). While there were many reasons for the war, the one best remembered was Britain's policy of impressing sailors right off of American ships. Some of the impressed sailors were British deserters, but many weren't. Frankly, if a foreign country came along and started conscripting my fellow nationals right off of ships in international waters, that would qualify as a pretty intelligent excuse for a war by my reckoning.

R.III
 
Originally posted by Switch625


We could arrange a swap: Illinois will take Cleveland, but Ohio will have to take Chicago. :eek:

If you act now, you will receive East St. Louis at no extra cost. :nuke:

You see? We get no reasonable offers. East St. Louis indeed! How about if we don't act now, tranfer Cleveland to you, and then conveniently forget to pick up Chcago.

BTW, wouldn't Illinois without Chicago be like...Iowa or something? ;)
 
Richard III wrote:

Yes, the Yankees burnt York (Toronto). I am staring at the bit they burnt from my office window as I write. Yankee bastards! The burning of Washington was in direct retaliation.

Actually, no. The burning of several buildings in Washington was more of a political message to the Americans, a reminder that while the British couldn't completely defeat them the Americans were still dealing with the world's foremost military power that could do nasty things to them.

The retaliation for the American burning of Yorke took place in very late December, 1813, when a combined British-Indian force under Major-General Phineas Riall crossed the Niagara River and burned down the towns of Buffalo and Black Rock, then marched down what is now Route 5 and burned any villages or homes they could find along the way. If you follow this route today you can see lots of family graves in the older cemeteries that date from this event, as people died of exposure and starvation. The British hung posters the whole route apologizing to the citizens but saying this was in retaliation for Yorke. One of the 3 buildings that survived that fire in Buffalo is still standing as a part of a larger building on lower Elmwood Avenue, near the Allentown district. I believe it is currently a Central American imported crafts store.

These two events, the burnings of Yorke (Toronto) and Buffalo, united the Niagara Peninsula in misery and probably played a role in the normalization of relations between Americans and Canadians in the 19th and 20th centuries...
 
Originally posted by Vrylakas
Richard III wrote:

Yes, the Yankees burnt York (Toronto). I am staring at the bit they burnt from my office window as I write. Yankee bastards! The burning of Washington was in direct retaliation.

Actually, no. The burning of several buildings in Washington was more of a political message to the Americans, a reminder that while the British couldn't completely defeat them the Americans were still dealing with the world's foremost military power that could do nasty things to them.

The retaliation for the American burning of Yorke took place in very late December, 1813, when a combined British-Indian force under Major-General Phineas Riall crossed the Niagara River and burned down the towns of Buffalo and Black Rock, then marched down what is now Route 5 and burned any villages or homes they could find along the way.

These two events, the burnings of Yorke (Toronto) and Buffalo, united the Niagara Peninsula in misery and probably played a role in the normalization of relations between Americans and Canadians in the 19th and 20th centuries...

Sorry, Yankee friend, I'm happy that relations were normalized, but you're slightly off on two counts. York is York, not Yorke. Trust me; Greater Toronto is studded with names like City of York, City of East York, York Region, Fort York, York University, etc... This is not a coincidence!

But more importantly, Buffalo and Black Rock were burned, yes, but if it was in retaliation for York, it was more likely (given the theatre) in retaliation for the burning of Canada's Newark/Niagara on the Lake, which was directly across the Niagara river from the U.S. (and a place I might just live in someday, but I digress).

So, don't forget the burning of Niagara on the Lake - the first major american "atrocity" of the war - which left the population largely homeless in the middle of a harsh winter. The decision to burn was criticized by American officers on the scene, if I remember correctly.

So, well we can all quibble about the order, as you can see, you guys burnt first in two theatres, and what goes around comes around!

R.III
 
I think that the most stupidest war in history will be Gulf War 2, when Dubya will ride his M1A1 tanks into a starving, dying nation to fight terrorists without the help or support of surrounding nations ... and lose;)
 
Richard III wrote:

Sorry, Yankee friend, I'm happy that relations were normalized, but you're slightly off on two counts. York is York, not Yorke. Trust me; Greater Toronto is studded with names like City of York, City of East York, York Region, Fort York, York University, etc... This is not a coincidence!

Gosh, with a name as long and Polish as mine, and I'm being called a Yank! Thousand pardons. I wasn't correcting your spelling of "York". I vaguely recall reading of a "Yorke" somewhere, though not sure exactly in reference to what municipality.

But more importantly, Buffalo and Black Rock were burned, yes, but if it was in retaliation for York, it was more likely (given the theatre) in retaliation for the burning of Canada's Newark/Niagara on the Lake, which was directly across the Niagara river from the U.S. (and a place I might just live in someday, but I digress).

Indeed, the burning of the American side of the Niagara Frontier was in retaliation for George McClure's whole campaign of scorched Earth on the British side. I was lumping the burnings of York and Newark together because they were a part of the same campaign in the same way that "the burning of Buffalo" really means the burning of everything between the mouth and outlet of the Niagara River. McClure was an Irishman with little love for the British, and he took every opportunity to make their lives miserable. Interestingly, after the burning of Buffalo McClure had to flee for his life from American mobs who tried to lynch him, in the remains of Buffalo, in Batavia and Rochester. They blamed him both for the actions in Ontario and western New York.

So, don't forget the burning of Niagara on the Lake - the first major american "atrocity" of the war - which left the population largely homeless in the middle of a harsh winter. The decision to burn was criticized by American officers on the scene, if I remember correctly.

Yes indeed. There was another reason as well - the burning of Newark in particular wasn't just an American crime; there were about 100 very enthusiastic Canadian volunteers fighting on the American side led by a Joseph Willcocks who parttook in the burning, enthusiastically directing McClure where to burn. Some of the Canadians, including Willcocks himself (actually, he was a Brit transplanted to Ontario) had actually lived in Newark and were seen shouting insults and threats at their own former neighbors. Willcocks was a turncoat who had fought on the British side at Queenston Heights but was too radical for the stifling class system in Canada at the time, so he defected. Many of his ideas foreshadowed the democratic revolts across Ontario and Quebec a couple decades later.

Willcock's volunteers were American transplants (or sons thereof) who in the decade-and-a-half after the American Revolution before the Louisiana Purchase had migrated to British Canada for farmland. Someone in this thread had written already about how ridiculous it was that the Americans of 1812 could believe that their own former, loyalist compatriots who fled the Revolution would ever welcome an American invasion, and that indeed is ridiculous. However, the Americans were counting on the support of these American farmers who left after the Revolution in search of cheap or free land, not political beliefs. Madison also hoped the French Canadians would join them, but while Quebec was not enthusiastic about British rule it had little to gain living under American rule (because of the very apt Quebec Act of the 1760s).

So, well we can all quibble about the order, as you can see, you guys burnt first in two theatres, and what goes around comes around!

The War of 1812, especially along the border between the U.S. and the British colonies to the north, had many atrocities, enough for everyone to share. Have you ever read Pierre Berton's historical-fiction account of trhe war, Flames Across the Border? He recounts in the intro how Americans today learn about Detroit, and the burning of Buffalo and Washington while Canadians learn about York (proper spelling) and Newark, with nearly all sides (Americans, Canadians, Brits) feeling convinced they won the war somehow. Any objective reading however shows that all three lost much more than they gained, (Berton contends). This is why some have claimed this war should be included in this thread, because it seemingly had no clearly resolved ending. I've argued though that this very lack of a clear ending gave the impetus for all sides to come to a reasonable agreement in the decades after the war on borders and relations.
 
Hamlet wrote:

quote:
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Originally posted by Vrylakas
The British hung posters the whole route apologizing to the citizens but saying this was in retaliation for Yorke.
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Hehehehehehehe, nearly brought a tear to my eye.

I laughed out loud when I read Mr.President's comments... I try to imagine the Germans hanging posters in Poland in 1939.... "Bitte üntermenschen; schade müssen wir..." :lol:

Richard III wrote:

Peace, man!

Peace, brother. BTW, I'll be laying seige to Toronto myself in a month or so. (I promise not to burn anything down. ;)) We have to travel up Buffalo-way on business and the wife wants to do some sight-seeing in Toronto - and I can never refuse a chance at Toronto's bookstores or Canadian beer... (Actually, almost anything but American beer...)

:beer:
 
Cool. Feel free to write on the private line beer/tourspot recommendations. I'm from Victoria, which is a tourist's paradise, so I find Toronto fine to live in but a little bland for tourists. But some corners are worth a stop. I could show you the early colonial parliament buildings, but oh - wait - it's been burnt to the ground!

Just pray the weather isn't like it is today. Yesterday, golfing weather. Today, a whiteout. I can't see the bits you guys burnt anymore; in fact, I'm writing right now from a 36th floor and can't even see the next building. Snow, high winds, slush.

On-topic, please translate "schade müssen wir," the "bitte untermenschen" bit was funny enough!

Oh and feel free to burn Buffalo on the way. If you want to make it even, Hamilton is quite combustible.

R.III
 
R.III, you're all right. :goodjob:

Richard III wrote:

Cool. Feel free to write on the private line beer/tourspot recommendations. I'm from Victoria, which is a tourist's paradise, so I find Toronto fine to live in but a little bland for tourists. But some corners are worth a stop. I could show you the early colonial parliament buildings, but oh - wait - it's been burnt to the ground!

I'll bring some ash from Buffalo and we'll compare.

Just pray the weather isn't like it is today. Yesterday, golfing weather. Today, a whiteout. I can't see the bits you guys burnt anymore; in fact, I'm writing right now from a 36th floor and can't even see the next building. Snow, high winds, slush.

Like I said, I used to live in Buffalo; Toronto weather isn't going to scare me. At least you guys are getting some precipitation up there. Our water reservoirs are down 50% down here.

On-topic, please translate "schade müssen wir," the "bitte untermenschen" bit was funny enough!

My terrible German. After "Bitte Üntermenschen", it was "Unfortunately we have to..." and it trailed off.

Oh and feel free to burn Buffalo on the way.

Eh, too passé. It's been done.

If you want to make it even, Hamilton is quite combustible.

How about Mississauga? I hate that place. Niagara-On-the-Lake is safe because my wife likes a Christmas store they have there. I suppose Ridgeway would be a little too ironic...? :D
 
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