whats the point of living if you cant do anything stupid?

[weimar_republic]

those of you who are parents, think about this. those of you who are teenagers, think about how you would react as a parent.

your teenage daughter comes home, drunk, and collapses in her bed. wakes up the next morning, with a hangover, and dosent remember most of the last day. would you truly be mad? well of course, but would you belive that your kids should learn from your mistakes, and that there are certian things they should never do? or would you take the approach that life must be lived, and teenagers must have fun, and learn from thier own mistakes?

 

[allan]

When I was a teenager who did just what you describe, my Dad would ask me the next morning (usually a Saturday or Sunday), after waking me up at the ungodly early hour of eight (!), "Does your head hurt?" When I answered "yes" he'd say "Good! Now go rake the yard" or something like that....

Yep, that was my Dad, and I love him.... I'm assuming you're the teenager now, right? If so, I'm inclined to say that though I'm not a parent yet, parents seem to have a tendency to want to steer their kids away from some of the stupid things they did--and my drinking like a fish was STUPID at the time. I'd probably handle it like my Dad did above--stressing you still have your usual responsibilities even though you're hung over (which is true throughout life). But did you drive? I did that once, and Dad reacted quite differently then--let's just say I never did it again.... I could have killed myself or someone else.

But different parents will handle things differently: there's no "handbook" for parenting, no "right way" to handle situations, and look at it this way--they ultimately ARE responsible for what you do, legally, morally, and because they have a bond of love with you. I know it may sound trite to you now, but believe me you'll grow up fast ENOUGH, and then understand a bit why your parents did what they did....

A tip for preventing a hangover though--take an aspirin before you go to bed....

 

[Cunobelin Of Hippo]

Did weimar have have a little too much?

Not that I'm experienced in the field or anything, but assuming I was in a parents role I'd probably give 'em the rake treatment too. Or Pushups. Parents who flip out over that sort of thing are just asking to have problems with their kids.

 

[Lefty Scaevola]

Perhaps the point is to do things correctly.

 

[stormerne]

That's a very strange topic title. What do you really mean by it? What, especially, do you mean by "can't"? Do you mean not capable of doing anything stupid? Or do you mean in some way not allowed to do anything stupid?

I don't believe anyone is incapable of doing something stupid. "He who never made a mistake, never made a discovery." (Look here for more quotes on mistakes.)

Not being allowed to indulge in stupidity is something else. If someone else is legally responsible for your actions rather than you, don't you owe it to them not to foul up? Like it or not, that's the case with most kids and parents.

It partly depends on what you mean by stupid as well. Is this stupidity accidental or deliberate?

And this "what's the point of living" is open to debate too. I've discussed this before with other people on CFC and there are several distinct views and they're all valid. I would say my point of living is growth, and to grow I expect to take risks and make mistakes. You can bury me when that process ends. Others are not interested in growth and prefer peace, and I would expect them to be less likely to do stupid things as a result.

Your example question is too simply answered and makes too many assumptions. Why assume the parent would be mad? And you'd have to find out whether she did it accidentally or deliberately, and if deliberately, why.

Some people can learn from the mistakes of others. Some can learn only from their own mistakes. Some just don't learn. Most people are a mixture.

Everyone can have fun, teenagers or not. Reverse the roles for a minute: what would the teenager think if their parent did that? There's no simple answer that covers all cases.

Most parents want the best for their children. Many of them have some idea of what best is, or more exactly what best isn't. A parent's problem is compounded when they have to take legal and financial responsibility for the deeds of their offspring. That's tough if their offspring have a streak of irresponsibility.

And yes I am speaking from experience. I have daughters aged 22, 24 and 28.

 

[wdheisse]

I will take this on as the parent of a 14 year old daughter. The most important statement here is "doesn't remember most of the last day." So many wrong decisions were made before this occurred. Ummm, the drinking age in Canada is what? I know, I know, that booze just kept calling you -- Drink me! Drink me! When the kid wakes up ( in the afternoon or evening ), another preductive day will begin. We aren't even talking about the gangbang, STD, pregnancy, car wreck, rape, robbery, etc., etc. What? Preposterous? Disgusting? Sick? Preverted? I'm sorry, what happened last night? That's right -- you don't remember! Me ----- be mad? Naw, never.

I think this is how I would see things. Think I went overboard, blew things out of preportion? Maybe this mistake was your last? or someone else paid for your mistake.

The rest of your post is total bull, a false choice,

#1 where is it written, you get more than one mistake? Every mistake maybe your last. Adults tend to see this a little more clearly than teenagers.

#2 life must be lived and teenagers MUST have fun. This is a new concept to me. I don't remember the right to have fun anywhere, especially in defence of mistakes of this nature.

#3 you assume that teenagers will learn from their mistakes, this MAY be true, strictly on a case by case basis.

A couple of clarifications, I am, of course, using you in the generic sense. I share many of the feelings that stormerne put forth in his post, I just am not as eloquent about it.

 

[allan]

Well said. Especially if your daughter (not being coherent) got behind the wheel of a car, as SO MANY teenagers do after drinking--that "mistake" could cost someone else their life (not to mention your daughter's).... Is THAT fair?

Generally I say, experience can be a good teacher--but it depends on what's at stake....

 

[weimar_republic]

well, the point of the topic, and saying, is that "people's gotta have fun"

 

[dreadhead7]

One should not have fun at the expense of others, nor should one have the type of fun that puts others at risk. Yes, teens want to have fun, but you must approach it with wisdom, responsibility, moderation, and common sense. If I were irresponsible enough to come home drunk, I would expect that my parents would be rightfully angry, and that I would be punished. That is only right.

You're right--life must be lived--in a responsible, respectful, and honorable fashion.
Teens gotta have fun--well, see above.
Teens must learn from their mistakes--that doesn't always happen, does it? I think that if some teens looked at the world around them, and observed the behavior of others, and its consequences, they would learn from the mistakes of others, and not follow on that path.

 

[allan]

Drinking isn't the only way you can have fun. And drinking until you don't remember anything--what fun is that? Did you have fun? You don't REMEMBER, so how do you know? Yeah I've done it, big whoop.... One time I found out the next day I was thrown through a table (I felt pretty banged up), because I was all over some guy's girlfriend--but I wasn't aware of what I was doing, and didn't remember... fun wow....

I guess you feel like you HAVE to experience it once--believe me you ain't missing much though.... And like someone else said, that ONE time you could get gang-raped, robbed, beat up, or get behind the wheel of a car (not knowing WHAT you're doing) and end up dead, or killing somebody else. Doesn't it scare you to be in the state where you're not conscious of what you're doing, and in no control of your actions? You SHOULD be scared, because when you're not in control things can go VERY wrong and you wouldn't be able to stop them! Two people in my senior class didn't live to see their graduation--and two more died a year afterward, because of stupid sh*t like this--they weren't in control, and they lost EVERYTHING.... I'm lucky to be alive myself, having one night driven somehow (totally unaware of myself, I don't remeber a DAMN thing about the drive) through ice-covered streets and into someone's driveway, stuck in a snowdrift--I was lucky to get stuck there (even though I incurred the most furious wrath of my father, who the homeowner called to get me out), there must be a God to have guided my incoherent self through half a mile of icy town streets--but this God doesn't spare EVERYBODY....

I don't think it's much fun being a statistic.... So be careful. YOU are your best friend--and by "you" I mean your control--it may be the only thing that will save your ass sometime, so hold on to it at all costs! If you MUST drink, don't overdo it....

Sorry if I sound like I'm preaching, but I know what I'm talking about.

So have fun--dance with the guys, hang with your friends--but don't drink yourself into a stupor! After all, how can you have fun if you don't even know what's going on?

 

[weimar_republic]

Fun. who could have thought it was so confusing. I cant wait till I get to university and I can try out the new me on the populace I am morally opposed to drinking {well the gettin drunk part anyways}, but here on PEI, the cops buy booze for teenagers {so the story goes...} but would like to have some fun, get back on what I missed out. as long as I dont drink myself to the point of :crazyeyes I think I will be but a little beer cant hurt... right?

 

[Graeme the mad]

Whats the point of living if u cant do anything stupid?


To reproduce of course: what else is the point of life?

(says he who sits in front of a computer all his life and cant be seen for dust if a girl says hello to him (not that it happens often))

LOOK - double brackets and I finished them both - see that algebra wasnt all to waste

rant, rant, rant....

 

[allan]

"but a little beer cant hurt... right?"

IMHO, no--it can't hurt. Drinking in moderation ain't a big deal.... If the cops are buying (hell in the Pennsylvania town I lived in the town cops sold weed), I guess you don't have to worry about age laws either.... Of course, if it's different in the college town you should be careful about the laws--I don't know how Canada is really but in many US states they can take away your driver's licence!

Just know your limits though--especially in college settings. Rape is a BIG problem on many college campuses, so you have to be able to protect yourself. Sounds like you have a healthy attitude toward drinking though--a lot healthier than MINE was at your age....

Good luck girl! Take care.... And yes, HAVE FUN!

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Weimar, you ahd a sex change in the time you were away? Whatever.

Just take it from me, drinikning ain't all it initially seems, or that it is cracked up to be. If you do when to stop, then good on ya, but leave it out until you are older to really hit the turps. Have a ****ing youth, like some of us didn't. don't 'grow up' too quick, bcause despiute efforts, you'll never get it back again. I know. I went looking. And found nothing.