Your Most Epic Fails

[Krajzen]

Hi guys, maybe there are people here who do not feel ashame of telling everyone they stupid mistakes

My Epic Fail is pretty tragic: I am currently testing game with many mods, and everything seemed to work perfectly, so I launched Europe TSL Map and France, to try cultural victory. After 240 turns I discovered that Culture Overview Screen is, for some reason, impossible to show for me (probably some mod issues).
The unability to see ideological unhappiness and civs influence isn't the worst here, because I play with Info Addict; the worst here is unability to swap great works and get theming bonuses. Now check French UA.
Ouch.

 

[phillipwyllie]

Two epic fails to speak of:
1.)Spawned(flat ground) next to Poland and I planned to take a city he settled near me. When the time came I build a road up to the target city before I built my infantry/rocket artillery. Casimir gave me a lesson on unit building........

2.)Mt Killi was near Greece on a Pangaea map so I popped a city right next to it. When I researched Refrigeration I built hotels and hospitals before building submarines. Alex gave me a lesson on why he thinks he's god.........

 

[gashad]

Had a game of China-everything was going great, then rome attacked. In my Hybris I decided not to switch production to cho-ku-nus, rather finish Notredam.
Turns out 2 cho-ku nus cannot stop a horde of legionaires and ballistas.

Reloaded and easily handled the attack when I actually produced units .

 

[Mr. Grieves]

Can't say my biggest fail wasn't on purpose though..

I marched my first settler right up to The Netherlands' borders and settled Babylon 4 hexes away from Amsterdam. I started pushing out only Warriors and bowmen with the city set on production focus, because hey, how do you kill someone with a monument?

With about 8 units we attacked the cowardly Dutch, and 6 turns later their magnificent capital was ours. With Babylon and Amsterdam now producing warriors and bowmen, we set our sights on the bustling 4-pop metropolis of Riga. (Babylon still had 1 citizen, Amsterdam 2)

With about 15 units we surrounded the pathetically weak Rigans and 5 turns later we were also able to annex this fine piece of land to the true great empire. Hordes of automated workers were now improving the land and eventually Babylon even went up to 2 pop. All was well.

Tragedy struck...

With -35 gpt, 10 unhappiness and having 7 units over our supply limit, we had no doubts about being able to take on the Ottomans, so naturally we demanded all of their stuff when we first met them. Strangely, Sulley refused, so of course we denounced and DOWed him.

Our glorious war went quite well until Suleiman came around the mountain with 6 swordsmen and 4 composite bowmen. With our weakened warriors getting disbanded every couple of turns, I panicked and settled for peace, tearfully parting with Amsterdam and Riga. Oddly, 10 turns later Suleiman wiped us out when we declared war on him again. How could this have happened to us?

 

[Loucypher]

Playing as Portugal (not that that mattered much), I came across a beautiful strecht of land near Tundra. 3 Stone, 2 Marble, 4 Deer, perfect, no? So I think, let's settle on a hill, get myself some Stone Works going...
...And then I realized I picked one of the very few Plains tiles...

 

[ahawk]

Just a handful of my many, many dumb moves:

Rush-bought an aqueduct in my 4th city, finished Tradition next turn. I'd forgotten I'd gone Tradition entirely.

At least several times, I've used a Great Engineer on a wonder that was only a turn or two or three from completion. This happens on rare occasion when I am hard-building one wonder and then spawn a GE, as I sometimes forget to switch to the second wonder I want before spending the GE. Typically, this happens because the GE spawns in a city other than the one that is hard-building, and I get distracted having to move the GE and forget that I'll need to switch the wonder being built the next turn. Very, very stupid stuff.

Used a Great Scientist when I have two or more techs that I have to tech through that all cost just 1 turn of science. Great Scientists, IIRC, cannot grant more than one tech upon use, so if multiple techs require just one turn, the GS will grant the first tech and essentially nothing more, reducing the GS to one turn's worth of science.

 

[HanNorwood]

My biggest fail was in a game as Poland. I was doing so well, I had borders established friends, and was the point leader. And then, in 2015 AD, all my friends, who either had a strong navy or bordered me, DoW'd me. I lose all but two cities (Lodz and Dublin, which I'd taken from Austria, who had taken them from Celts. Somehow the Celts were in second with one city.) My nation ended up getting divvied up by Arabia, Morocco, The Shoshone, Japan, and China.

Also.

Used a Great Scientist when I have two or more techs that I have to tech through that all cost just 1 turn of science. Great Scientists, IIRC, cannot grant more than one tech upon use, so if multiple techs require just one turn, the GS will grant the first tech and essentially nothing more, reducing the GS to one turn's worth of science.

The GS will only get you one tech, but you'll have a boost on the next one. If that hasn't happened though, it may only be when you've got a route set up on the tech tree.

 

[Memoryjar]

With Shoshone, Continents next to Monty and Attila. I found Bismark behind Attila. DoW him and steal two workers.
Attila and Monty DoW Bismark a few turns later. So I settle T70 my second city in square juicy river grassland with 2 luxs and wheat in the first ring.
Finally T75, Bismark offered peace. I grab some gpt and agree. Instant DoW by Attila and Mounty. I saw a pretty barbecue after Te Moak was surround by 6 horses archer. 2 archer and 1 warriors wasn't enough.
This game doesn't like peace.

 

[seanflokstra7]

Netherlands. Next to The Huns and Spain. Huns attack me. I defend Utrecht, destroy half his army. Peace. I reach navigation. After building up a navy consisting of Frigates and Sea Beggars, I attack Attila. After taking over Logrono(probably spelled wrong), I go to Attila's court. Completely wreck his Trireme's and the capital, and a Quinquereme slips in the only spot a boat can take over a city. At that point, I literally scream: DIIIIIIIIIIIIDOOOOOOOOOOOO. He already offered me peace, but I thought the Quinquereme would go away. I wait three turns, I lose a Frigate, but the stupid Carthaginian boat still doesn't move. WHYYYYYYYYYYYY? I accepted peace, and eventually got Attila's court anyway.

 

[Sagax]

First Aztec game, going for science. It was a Fractal map, and I encountered an amazing spot: Deer, Sheeps, Wine, a 3-tile lake with jungle to the north and a 7-tile lake to the south, with a mountain between them. there was a settling spot right next to the mountain that could make both lakes adjacent, thus turning the Floating Gardens into a monstrous building.

I was trying to get a Settler ASAP, and when it almost arrived at the place it turned out that China was going to settle at the same location. So I hurried and found the city next to the mountain for the observatory....only to find out that I was 1 hex off that golden spot. Bottom line: no Floating Gardens for me, 10 lake tiles wasted.

 

[Talcove]

Playing as Polynesia, I found that mountain with all the silver in it (+10 gold) and rushed out to settle it... Unaware that by doing so I was forward settling on Songhai. Yeah, all that talka bout peace when you first meet them, yeah, it's a load of poop.

 

[nemesis464]

Built a road all the way from my city to an outlying city state.

Turns out they wanted a caravan trade route and not a road link.
Misreading derp.


Also, the amount of times I've accidentally declared war by clicked yes instead of no. Pretty much every other yes/no decision screen in life has 'no'on the left. Not Civ

 

[LoneRebel]

I'm sure I have bigger epic fails than these, but these are some recent ones that come to mind at the moment.

Playing a hotseat game with my cousin, I'm Korea. I'm happily building the Heroic Epic, it's one turn away. And then I found a third city.

I have to spend 400 gold to rush-buy a barracks in that city. And to think this could have been a perfectly timed "settle new city right after building a national wonder" moment.

And then, later in the same game, the Inca (who we plan to destroy later for building so many wonders) asked for a research agreement plus some extra gold and horses. Since I have both the Rationalism opener and the Porcelain Tower, I said yes, confident that the benefit I would gain would outweigh all that extra stuff he was asking for.

Turns out that that was my cousin's turn. I had had her sign a disadvantageous RA with someone she's pissed off at for taking several wonders from her, including literally two on the turn before she was about to build it. She was not pleased.

 

[reddishrecue]

I tried out an honor start in gnk with Washington. I made a Dow on Isabela who happened to be next to me and i got to take her capital. I also made a Dow on Theodora who also happened to be next to me but to the south (Isabela was in the north). I took both of their capitals but let them survive. However, August was ahead in technology and caught my spy causing trouble in Rome which caused him to make a Dow on me and that was it, I lost all cities that were captured. I had minute men standing up to riflemen.

 

[Croc104]

I played a standard, continents map on immortal last night as France – shooting for a cultural victory. I have a nice cap with a LOAD of food along with marble and sugar. A little to the north I spot the perfect spot for my 2nd city - cotton, citrus, 1 lone mountain for the observatory and a lot of food. Before I get chance, Pacal drops his 2nd city on the exact tile I had my eye on.

I decide to venture south and drop my second city 5 tiles north of Delhi. Plenty of wheat and two lots of copper. I figured Gandhi wouldn’t mind…

By this point there is Paris, with Orleans 6 tiles directly south and Delhi 5 further from there. I spy Lake Victoria around 9 tiles to the East of Orleans, however Gandhi has dropped his second city to South East of Paris. I drop Leon a couple of tiles from LV and by the connecting tiles between it and Orleans, cutting Gandhi’s empire in half. I then did not renew my Open Borders with him when they expired. All three cities are by this point running nicely, NC up in time for turn 76 etc. Boudicca then shows her ugly face to the east of Lyon and I prepare for a battle. Sure enough, Boudicca DoWs me and we fight it out. I only have four comp bowmen, 2 pikemen and 2 swordsmen.

I have full trad’ with garrisoned bowmen in Lyon. Because of the heresy in Lyon there is +30% combat city strength (unsure of exact belief) for a total of 80% modifier to city bombardment which literally takes out a Celtic unit at a time. After destroying around 6 comp bowmen, a couple of knights and 5 or 6 pikemen I ask for peace which she is happy to go along with.

By this time Gandhi has four cities, Delhi and Vajaynagara to my south and two others completely separate, to my north and east. Exactly when I had just two or three injured units remaining Gandhi marches on a defenseless Paris with around ten units and takes it in around four turns.

So by T207 I’ve lost my cap and my two little cities are surrounded by the warmongering Indians and the still very angry Celts! 

One question, what do people make of playing on a map size then removing a couple of players (AI). So 6 Civs on a standard map and so on. There is more room to expand and fewer issues regarding contested borders etc. Is this cheating?!

 

[Memoryjar]

Answer : Play as you want, it's just a game. Rules are only for multiplayers games, HoF, GOTM, and stuffs like that.

 

[Croc104]

Answer : Play as you want, it's just a game. Rules are only for multiplayers games, HoF, GOTM, and stuffs like that.

I get what you're saying. But I'd like to know whether the community would consider it a form of cheating. For instance if I manage to finally win a deity game having done so, does it lessen my achievement in the eyes of other players?

 

[joshua43214]

I get what you're saying. But I'd like to know whether the community would consider it a form of cheating. For instance if I manage to finally win a deity game having done so, does it lessen my achievement in the eyes of other players?

its your game, you paid for it, do what you like and have fun.

but...
Folks will discount your victory for doing things like changing civ number, using strategic balance for resources, removing victory conditions, etc. There is nothing wrong with it, however if you wish to call yourself a Deity Player, then most folks will expect you to be able to beat Deity with standard settings. Personally, I find Deity un-fun and take no pride in being able to beat it the rare times I play it. All of the problems with Civ V are magnified on Deity, and I don't like the feeling that I am playing an extremely poorly programed game (that, and I hate Deity barbs). As tommynt never tires of telling us, if you understand the game, winning on Deity is not hard.

 

[Croc104]

its your game, you paid for it, do what you like and have fun.

but...
Folks will discount your victory for doing things like changing civ number, using strategic balance for resources, removing victory conditions, etc. There is nothing wrong with it, however if you wish to call yourself a Deity Player, then most folks will expect you to be able to beat Deity with standard settings. Personally, I find Deity un-fun and take no pride in being able to beat it the rare times I play it. All of the problems with Civ V are magnified on Deity, and I don't like the feeling that I am playing an extremely poorly programed game (that, and I hate Deity barbs). As tommynt never tires of telling us, if you understand the game, winning on Deity is not hard.

Thanks. I suppose that's the answer I was expecting. I think I'll start on Deity with a couple of Civs taken out of a standard map. Then when I'm comfortable beating that scenario I will add in the others and try it all again!

 

[RaidandTrade]

On a continents map that looked more like large islands I was England and had the Great Lighthouse. Japan had been annoying all game (early jointly DoWed with their buddy Attila). Fought that off and took Attila (longbows) but, in the later game they came with a fleet four times the size of mine including fully laden carriers. Got them down to a few ships and almost no army before my last battleship sank and I lost one coastal city.

Then Greece took me from behind. Took my second city in a single turn with give battleships, two carriers and a privateer. Rage quit...


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