Your Most Epic Fails

[Krajzen]

Kamehameha. Huge tiny islands map. Marathon speed. Gonna settle into a nice long game and abuse that UA. Scout out lots of islands, find tons of ruins, settle every new city near a luxury I don't have. Good times. Being Polynesia, I can just ignore that top row of the tech tree after fishing boats and research all of the good stuff. Being marathon, I'm 600 or so turns in before I can build harbors. Start building them in my other cities. Get one or two done, now it's time to build one in my capit- oh... Not on the coast.

This one was good

By the way, it seems strange for me not to settle capital (or any city!) not on the coast while playing on the Archipelago O_o

 

[erisiamk]

Settled Venice on turn 1. Discovered Cerre De Potosi on turn 2 further down the river, 4 tiles away. -_-

 

[direblade99]

Forgot what I was playing as, decided to do something really smart and micro'y and got all the forests around my cap to one turn until chopped, so I could get NC in only a few turns, hard built NC and forgot about the forests entirely.

 

[Civilmyzation]

I was winning late in a game, with friendships w/ 6 other civs, when I decide I have to take out the other super power, I had spent a lot of time trying to isolate them, and finally pulled it off. I check the area, its clear, no city states nearby, sweet.

evidently there was a scout of my greatest ally nearby, where I just didn't see him, because I sent that nuke to my enemy, and bam, I DoW my friend, who happened to have a defensive agreement with another guy, who had a defensive agreement with 2 other guys.

long story short, 1 nuke, next turn I was at war with the entire world. all 7 other civs.

tried to rush a science win, fought off a few civs, but atilla had been sitting doing nothing all game in an awful location where he had a huge army sitting there. he wiped me out after a big war with those other civs.

 

[Loucypher]

Playing as Byzanthium, got lucky with religious CS + Pottery ruin T3, get a powerful religion pretty fast (Pagodas and Cathedrals, yum) along with the Tears of the Gods pantheon (6 gems within 2 cities, complimented with 2 sets of pearls). So with all that, I get my great prophets after that, plant them, get Hagia Sophia along the way (thematic reasons), plant it...and at about 600 AD I realize I never enhanced my religion (I did get reform belief). WHOOPS.
Fortunately Religious Texts was still available. No other religious buildings anymore though, so had to settle on Temples giving me culture...

 

[Playsoneasy]

I think mine was a classic noob failure.

Played as Russia, huge continents map on chieftain difficulty. Spammed a load of settlers, built cities left and right, and eventually came across Attila...

He grumbled at me for settling near his lands, I thought "meh, what you gonna do?" Five turns later he DOWs me, sends a hoard of battering rams at me, and takes half of my cities in double quick time...

/ragequit

 

[seanflokstra7]

Playing Attila. Had already captured Wittenberg, Jerusalem, Moscow and Istanbul.

I decide to go for England. It takes me really long to get all my units there, but she doesn't suspect anything.

I attack, and London is surrounded by endless Longbowmen. We can safely say that I was pissed. She destroyed my army.

Oh wait, it got worse! She attacked all my cities. SHE TOOK ALL MY CITIES. Literally. I was erased.

 

[Walter R]

1st game of G&K. Generated a GP and had no idea what to do with it, so planted it for holy site as suggested and carried on. Rinse and repeat.