100 funniest facts

[Mirc]

I read the basically the first two paragraphs and then posted the link. I was about to rebuttal one of the guys here that said there was no evidence by posting the link again. That was when I read the whole article and I soon found out that it wasn't what I had in mind. I hadn't said that here since I was too embarrassed, but instead I've made my self more embarrassed then if I had just admitted. So, here's two blushes:

We all screw up. You just proved you're a human being. welcome to the club, beer's in the fridge and the nuts are all over this place.

Very well said!

(later I realized that my post here might have sounded a bit harsh, as there's no "tone of speech" over the internet; so I guess that's what smileys are for):

 

[Matthew5117]

Very well said!

(later I realized that my post here might have sounded a bit harsh, as there's no "tone of speech" over the internet; so I guess that's what smileys are for):

To be honest, I wasn't offended. I've been here long enough to know that everyone here at CivFanatics is nice.

Also, the reply that I posted involving the two blushes, well, I wasn't sad or anything. I actually found some humour in it. Guess I should have added the:

 

[Zack]

To be honest, I wasn't offended. I've been here long enough to know that everyone here at CivFanatics is nice.

Thank you.

 

[KaiserElectric]

This thread is becoming too intellectual! Gah!

179. Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan sings backup on Peter Gabriel's "Signal to Noise".
The funny part? He was dead when it was recorded.

 

[Matthew5117]

Thank you.

Except you of course.

This thread is becoming too intellectual! Gah!

Intellectual? How have these last few posts been intellectual? Do you know what it means?

180. 1 in 5 people are Chinese.

181. If all the people in China stood on a chair and jumped off at exactly the same time, they could knock the earth out of orbit.

182. If you had all the people in China in a line and walk by you, it would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

183. If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4,950. The heads picture weights more, so it ends up on the bottom more often.

184. All of the Earth's continents are wider at the north than in the south - and nobody knows why.

 

[Dumanios]

185:If you combine Africa and South America,They go together like 2 pieces of puzzle.

 

[Zack]

This thread is becoming too intellectual! Gah!

You're kidding, right?

 

[Bobbtjoe]

185:If you combine Africa and South America,They go together like 2 pieces of puzzle.

That is because a therey states that all the continents formed a massive "super" continent, known as pangea.

 

[Matthew5117]

186. Even a small amount of alcohol placed on a scorpion will make it go crazy and sting itself to death.

 

[cymru]

15. "Quartz glyph job vex'd cwm finks!"

This was an actual headline that appeared in the Guinness Book of World Records (some time in the late 70's, IIRC) which has the distinction of using all 26 letters of the alphabet once. The story was about criminals getting foiled. Took me a little while to figure out that cwm = crime. Try saying it as "cwime" - Elmer Fudd mode, I guess.

I don't know if it's still in the more recent books, and don't remember what record it was supposed to be holding, but I do know I haven't seen it anywhere else. (I suppose I could look for it, but what fun would that be?)

A cwm is a basin-shaped mountain depression.

 

[KaiserElectric]

187. Thread necromancy is FUN!

188. Hollywood is in California because early filmmakers were trying to get as far away from Thomas Edison's lawyers as possible, because he had the patent on the movie camera.

 

[Ataxerxes]

181. If all the people in China stood on a chair and jumped off at exactly the same time, they could knock the earth out of orbit.

182. If you had all the people in China in a line and walk by you, it would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

183. If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4,950. The heads picture weights more, so it ends up on the bottom more often.

184. All of the Earth's continents are wider at the north than in the south - and nobody knows why.

Nice facts, but I don't buy #181.

189. In the summing up of the Scopes trial, Clarence Darrow wanted his client to be convicted.

190. William Jennings Bryan offered to pay Scopes fine after his trial. He was too late, H.L. Menken already did.

(I love the Scopes trial. It qualifies as an American comedy. They never did bother to arrest Scopes before the trial.).

191. Bryan campaigned for women's suffrage. And resigned as Secretary of State in 1916 because he though the U.S. response to the sinking of the Lusitania was too strong (I agree with him, there were warnings posted. I sure as h*** wouldn't have gone).

 

[Omni314]

181. If all the people in China stood on a chair and jumped off at exactly the same time, they could knock the earth out of orbit.

192. Even ejecting such mass from the Earth (or colliding to it from outer space), the resulting energy would be equivalent to only 2% of the energy released by a modern hydrogen bomb, shifting the Earth's orbit just a small fraction of the radius of a single atom (courtesy of wikipedia)

 

[Ajidica]

193. During the Civil War, the farmer whose land Bull Run had taken place moved to a town called Appomatox and Lee surrendered to Grant in his parlor.
194. Lenin disliked Paris because his bike was stolen there.
195. Mao entertained the idea of changing stoplights so red ment go.
196. Mao could swim, Kruschev could not so Mao staged a meeting in a pool so Kruschev had to wear floaties.
197. There is a Precious Moments Chapel in Carthage, MO. Yes, the Precious Moments figurines featured sylized babies your grandmother probably collects.
198. Prior to the Progressive Movement, your Oscar Meyers bologna may have had a name, F-R-A-N-K.
199. Kafka wanted to burn his works but after his death, the lawyer who managed his estate decided to sell them.
200!. The LotR trilogy has a cult following by Neo-Nazis.
201. The person who embalmed Lenins' body had decided it was wrong and refused to embalm Stalins body, leading to to decay.
202. Lenins Tomb and body is maintained entirely by volunteers and the waiting list to become a volunteer is forever. (It takes years to even get your application considered.)

 

[Dumanios]

203: The Kham region of Tibet essentially breaks the 'calm, peaceful Tibetan' stereotype.

 

[Ataxerxes]

204. Cats can't taste sweet. Almost all other mammals can taste sweet. I suppose if I ate mice, I wouldn't worry about taste either.

 

[KaiserElectric]

Nice facts, but I don't buy #181.

189. In the summing up of the Scopes trial, Clarence Darrow wanted his client to be convicted.

190. William Jennings Bryan offered to pay Scopes fine after his trial. He was too late, H.L. Menken already did.

(I love the Scopes trial. It qualifies as an American comedy. They never did bother to arrest Scopes before the trial.).

191. Bryan campaigned for women's suffrage. And resigned as Secretary of State in 1916 because he though the U.S. response to the sinking of the Lusitania was too strong (I agree with him, there were warnings posted. I sure as h*** wouldn't have gone).

I agree with your views on the Lusitania. I always found it highly dishonest of Wilson to blast Germany for the sub warfare while ignoring Britains starvation blockade of Germany.

I also have two facts relating to these views.

205. During World War I, Germany tried to negotiate a deal with Britain to stop sub warfare in exchange for ending the hunger blockade. Germany accepted, but Britain refused!

206. The entire Scopes trial was a scam in the first place. The townspeople sued Scopes so they can get their town noticed in national headlines.

207. Scopes was also in on the scam!

208. Wilson never wanted to remain neutral in World War I. In fact, he believed that by fighting in the war, he would be allowed to establish his Fourteen Points peace during the peace talks.

209. Wilson didn't trust the European nations to settle a peace treaty by themselves, and felt he could do it better.

210. The Wilson-influenced Versailles treaty held back a world war for 21 years and was never succesfully upheld.

211. The Concert of Europe peace treaty, established by European powers without Wilsonian demands, prevented another World War from occuring for 99 years!

 

[f35acepilot]

212: If you have hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, you have a fear of long words.

 

[jlvfr]

I agree with your views on the Lusitania. I always found it highly dishonest of Wilson to blast Germany for the sub warfare while ignoring Britains starvation blockade of Germany.

At the time, a blockade was a time-honoured and perfectly leagal form of warfare, practised by nations for centuries (it's the naval equivalent of a castle siege). The sinking of the Lusitania, otoh, was seen as the deliberate targeting of non-combatant civilians and, as such, borderline murder and piracy.

 

[!!!!!]

213:the average person eats 8 spiders in they're lifetime when they are sleeping