100 Of The Funniest Thing To Put On Your Answering Machine Theard

[Eukaryote]

Hello, Claire and her sister can't come to the phone right now. We're currently busy sastifying each others erges. Don't judge us just because we're gay rednecks! <beep>

I just though that I'd like to copy mine or no reason at all.

 

[Maniacal]

Oooohhh yeah, baby, hit me ne more ti- OWCH! OH GOD THE STINGING PAIN!!! *beep*


God b.s. is annoying.

 

[Perfection]

I like setting a copy of the onion on top of my answering machine

 

[admiral-bell]

@perfection:

 

[Ghost]

my friends answering machine says
"were sorry but we arent home right now but I do have good news. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to gieko!"

 

[The Person]

"You have been banned for flooding." *beep"

 

[Narz]

"Hello? <one second pause> Oh, it's you, I don't feel like talking to you."

 

[CivFan91]

This was completely by accident, we recorded this while Pinky and the Brain was on:

"Hello, we can't get to the phone. Please leave a message after the NARF!"

 

[The Person]

"I told you not to phone me when I'm not at home..." *beep*

 

[Narz]

Ahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha, beep

 

[CivFan91]

@narz - WTH??

 

[WildWeazel]

Mine is "You know what to do."
I know, not very funny.

 

[Bluemofia]

"Hello?...........Could you repeat that again?................Are you sure that's what you just said?...............In case if you didn't notice, this is a recording. Don't you feel silly?" *beep*

 

[Stylesjl]

Your house will explode after the beep *beep*

 

[Narz]

@narz - WTH??

Exactally.

 

[Narz]

"Thank you for calling. You've reached the child sex offender confession line, your number is currently being traced and the local police are on their way to your house. Leave your confession after the beep."

 

[Maniacal]

"Thank you for calling Electronic Arts customer service, you will be ignored after the beep."

 

[Pbhead]

alo? alo?<10 second pause> no,no, I vant a peperOOni pizta. NO oninins. Be 'ere en ifteen mints or no money!!!!
-------------------------
NO SOUP FOR YOU!*beep*
--------------------
Hello thankyou for calling the "Please do call me list" Your phone number is being fowarded to every telemarketer in India, the Phillpians, and your anoying neighbor. We thankyou for for helping us in this endevor, if you have any questions or names and numbers of other telemarketers that we can send all of the numbers to, please leave a message*beep*

 

[Rheinmetall]

Please leave a message after the *beep* ... *beep* ... *beep* ... *beep* ... *beep* ... *beep* ... *beep* ... *beep* ... *beep*

 

[The Person]

*Lalalalalaaah, I can't hear you!" *beep*