1000 things not to do on a date

[ybbor]

and if you'll not THIS ONEwas started first

256) pretend to have a war between your silverware and your date's silverware
257)bring a CD player along with speakers, and go to the library for a study date,find the most vulgar CD inn the local CD store and blast it full volume
258)show her your extensive gun colection and the metals you've won
259) set up a watermelon and shoot it with as many rounds as your guns can hold
260)explain to hr where those bullets would have landed if they were a persons head
261)go to an archery range for a date. mention youve never shot an arrow before. offer to shoot an apple of her head. when she refuses say "Some Date you are, Sarah trusted me, and she's only deaf in oneear

 

[Spetznaz]

262)Wink your eye to other ladies at the restaurant,whole date

 

[ybbor]

263)wear your underwear on your head
264)wear her underwear on your head groucho

 

[Gogf]

265. Naw on your plate.
266. Bring a laptop, and go to GCF .
267. Spit at the waitors.
268. Advertise.
269. Cut your finger-nails.
270. Write on the table.
271. Set off small explosives.
272. Pound on the table demanding food.
273. Spit out your drink when you see the check.
273. Get your date to pay.

 

[ManOfMiracles]

274. When he arrives at your place to pick you up, hand him your cat and say, "I hope you two have a wonderful evening."

 

[The Person]

275 - Tell her how much better you think Civ2/Civ3 is than the other version.

276 - Tell her that you feel uncomfortable here, since there's no computer with Civ2/3 on.

277 - Vomit on her plate, saying "better yours than mine".

278 - Eat your vomit.

279 - Bring a laptop with Civ2/3, play it, and show off your great progress.

280 - Try to do all of the already mentioned things.

281 - Tell her your mother is cuter (sexier) than her.

282 - Insist on bringing your parents.

283 - Insist that she brings her parents, too.

284 - Always try to look under her skirt...

285 - ...even if she wears pants!

286 - Insisting that you touch each others genital before ordering.

287 - Have your friends call you on your cell phone your whole date.

288 - Act surprised when she leaves.

289 - Insisting on paying for the cute girl next to you.

290 - Bring sheets of paper and a pen and write everything you want to say, refusing to converse verbally.

291 - Try to use your spoon as a knife.

292 - Asking her to show her beautiful back, and when she does so, comment on her beautiful nose.

293 - Insist on taking her with you when you go to the toilet.

294 - Shout offenses after the waiter whenever you see him.

295 - Always look under the plates pretending to look after your pet cockroach.

296 - Asking her to switch plates with you, eating a bit, then asking her to switch back.

297 - Chew on a thing, then put it on her plate.

298 - Using obscene words in every second sentence.

299 - Telling her you're the grandson of one of Hitler's illegitimate children.

300 - Tell her how you wrote #300 in this list every five minutes.

 

[Perfection]

301 - Remind her that your words are backed with nuclear weapons (well, it worked for Clinton, but that's the exception not the rule)

 

[Gnarfflinger]

302 - Brag about how you look up to Bill Clinton...

 

[LLXerxes]

303-Bring a labtop and play Civ 1
304-Bring a laptob and show her prank flashes.
305-Talk about your relationship with other women/men
306-Publicly announce that you are gay/lesbian, then glirt with yuor date

 

[The Person]

307 - Print this list and check it every time you're about to something you haven't done yet.

308 - Print this list and do everything mentioned on it to check its credibility.

309 - Tell her in detail about your twin step brother...

310 - ...and when she tells you that it's impossible to have a twin step brother, tell her that you only believe what you see...

311 - ...and tell her you forgot your lenses.

312 - Ask her if she wants to date your twin step brother...

313 - ...telling her how geeky he is.

314 - Crash your car into their letter box when arriving to pick her up.

315 - Keep your finger on the doorbell until somebody opens the door.

316 - Arrive two hours early for your date.

317 - Arrive two hours late for your date. (OK, that one was obvious, but what the hell...)

318 - Climb into her bedroom (on the second floor) to pick her up.

319 - Climb into her parents's bedroom to pick her up.

320 - Wear your clothes inside-out.

321 - Drive veeeeery slooooooowly.

322 - Tell her you don't have a driving license.

323 - Forget where you wanted to take her.

324 - Invite every sexy girl to your table...

325 - ...and when your date disagrees, tell her you want a harem.

326 - Tell her how much you are against rascism, and yell "F*cking n*gger!" at every black person in the restaurant. (This isn't recommended in any other situation, either.)

327 - Go on and on about how much you dslike her favourite artist/group.

328 - Insist on doing all conversation via SMS.

329 - Complain loudly about not being able to play Civ2/3 in your cell phone.

330 - Insist that she taste every bit you take before you eat it.

331 - Pretend to get sick by every bit you take, so you'll have to go to the bathroom.

332 - Bring your guitar and sing lovesongs for her as loudly and badly as you can.

333 - Ask her to out to the city dump to shoot rats...

334 - ...and show her some of your trophies from your previous hunts.

335 - Try to hook her on Civ2/3.

336 - Ask to borrow her lipstick.

337 - Tell her you saw somebody who looked like her on a porn site...

338 - ...and ask if it was her.

339 - Rate all of her jokes. (Like I do on this forum.)

340 - Start a new subject every time she says something.

341 - Telling her you'll pay for her, and then find out that you've forgotten your money.

342 - Asking her to pay for you, and if she says yes, order the most expensive items on the menu.

343 - If you're underage, try to order some alcoholic drink, and argue with the waiter when he tells you you're not allowed to order it.

345 - If you're not underage, get drunk...

346 - ... and let her pay for you...

347 - ...and then drive home drunk...

348 - ...causing an accident...

349 - ...and ask her out again two days later.

350 - Ask her if she likes to have sex on public places...

351 - ...and tell her about your public sex adventures.

352 - Tell her how much more you like her 8-year old sister.

353 - Tell her how much more you like her 8-year old brother.

354 - Tell her how much more you like her 80-year old grandmother.

355 - Tell her how much more you like her 80-year old grandfather.

356 - Show her your tattoo that is on a certain place.

357 - Show her your piercing that is on a certain place.

358 - Offer to drive her home, and let her off at the wrong house...

359 - ...in the wrong street...

360 - ...in the wrong quarter...

361 - ...in the wrong city! (Better stop here. The wrong state seems a little too much.)

362 - Talk only about one subject.

363 - Talk while you're chewing.

364 - Take out what you're chewing on out of your mouth to talk, then put it back in.

365 - Complain about the lack of smilies in verbal conversation.

366 - Be so eager at posting in this thread that you miss your date.

367 - Try to post in this thread from your laptop, and complain when it doesn't work.

368 - Tell her that you're in love with Julius Caesar.

369 - Tell her that you know where he's buried.

370 - Tell her that you have mental contact with him when you're at his grave.

371 - Tell her that your mother is a zombie...

372 - ...and that your father is Frankenstein's monster.

373 - Tell her about your gay sex experiences.

374 - Tell her that your parents are transsexuals, so that your mother is your father, and vice versa.

375 - Tell her that 3715.1005 is your lucky number.

 

[ybbor]

376) go on a date near a jewlery store, and after your date rob it together
377)propose to her with a stolen ring

 

[Perfection]

378) Propose to her with a Napkin Ring

 

[Syterion]

379. Talk about stories that have no en

 

[The Person]

380 - Wear you clothes inside-out.

381 - Ask her to write a list of things not to do on a date, and when she shows it to you shout: "Are you serious?"

382 - Inquire about her taste in blue tomatoes.

383 - Tell her she is the most beautiful zombie you've ever met.

307 - Print this list and check it every time you're about to something you haven't done yet.

384 - When she asks why you do it, act offended and tell her this is v1.15, the most updated list.

385 - Give her a copy of that list.

386 - Always change the subject, and when she changes the subject, complain about her always changing the subject.

387 - Harass the waiter until you get thrown out...

388 - ...and go to another place...

389 - ...where you do exactly the same.

390 - Fart every five minutes.

391 - Always talk about the same thing.

392 - Pretend you're from the "Organization of People who need to Squirt with a Water Gun to Talk", and bring a water gun and squirt on her whenever you talk. (I got the idea from a comedy show where there once was a guy who pretended to be from that organization, and squirted water on everybody he talked to.)

393 - Ask about her age every ten minutes.

394 - Bring your own food.

395 - Print this list, give it to her, and tell you'll never do what stands on it again.

396 - Tell her you always have sex on the first date.

397 - Talk to her breasts.

398 - Ask her for her email, then bring your laptop and only communicate by email.

399 - And ask her why she doesn't respond to your emails.

400 - Tell her you contributed both #300 and #400 to this list.

401 - And tell her how proud you are of it.

402 - Tell her you contributed most to this list...

403 - ...from personal experience! (That does not apply to me, in case you wonder.)

404 - Tell her you like Adolf Hitler.

405 - Tell her your grandfather was one of Adolf Hitler's personal servants.

406 - Tell her you use more time at school posting in this thread than doing schoolwork.

407 - Take up subjects again that were abandoned half an hour ago.

408 - Deliver the wrong girl.

409 - Drive backwards.

410 - Drive forwards, but insist that you drive backwards.

411 - Get fined for every major traffic offense...

412 - ...and complain when you have no money to pay.

 

[Theoden]

413 - you start dancing on the table

414 - you ask the guy on the neighbooring table if he would like to swap dates

415 - You try to behave as they do on television

416 - you keep repeating the same lame joke all night

417 - You laugh of that joke every time

418 - And you keep asking her why she doesn't think it's funny

 

[T-Money]

#419- ask her why she smells so damn bad

 

[The Omega]

420. Act like Das on the Celtic Peacekeepers forum.

 

[Highgeneral]

421: Tell her how much you like My forum

 

[The Person]

422 - Tell her how much time you spend on this thread...

423 - ...and how much you need it!

424 - Bring a USB cable and try to connect it into your ears, "to establish a connection" between the two of you.

425 - Bring a network cable instead and do the same.

426 - Insist on having your food served on a green plate...

427 - ...in a restaurant where they don't have green plates.

428 - Insist to switch sides every five minutes.

429 - Ask the waitress for a date.

430 - Ask every waitress for a date.

431 - Tell her your only social life is on CFC.

432 - Throw peanuts at other guests.

433 - Don't change your facial expression for the whole date.

434 - Tell her you've escaped from the mental clinic and ask her if she knows a place you can hide.

435 - Never look at her.

436 -Tell her you're on a double-date with the voices in your head.

437 - Insult her every five minutes, and tell her it's because the voices in your took control of your mouth.

438 - Deliver the wrong girl.

439 - Tell bad jokes and laugh loudly at them.

440 - Insult every man who's stronger than you.

441 - Eat your beef with a spoon.

442 - Eat your soup with fork and knife.

443 - Have long conversations with her left breast.

444 - Tell her you think that Elvis works here.

 

[King Alexander]

51. Demand her Territory Map

And don't forget her World Map...

445. Talk to her about your previous girlfriend, and that she was the most beautiful woman you ever saw, and how you'd wish to be with her again, and ask her for tips!