1000 ways you know you've played Civ2 too much when...

[jadelicia]

863) You look outside your window at the mountains in the west and you don't think how beautiful they are...

864) ...instead you think, "Why the heck haven't they tranformed those into hills? They would produce so many more resources if they were hills!"

865) You also live nearby some hills and you wonder why there aren't mines anywhere.

866) You figure that the Dutch must have gone into the game documents and messed with the files (game.txt, rules.txt, etc.) so that they could reclaim sealand because it is impossible otherwise.

867) If you are like me, and live in the northern hemisphere, as summer comes around and the sun starts looking bigger and brighter as it sets, you automatically think that it is a global warming warning...

868) ...and you wonder why there aren't any engineers around cleaning up.

869) When someone litters, you get very angry saying that it will cause global warming...

870) ...and you say that if he/she keeps littering it'll cost a bunch of shields to build an engineer, which could be prevented if s/he would just stop littering!!!...

871) ...you wonder why they give you a look like you've just said aliens have landed...

872) ...When you repeat yourself, and they say they have no idea what you're talking about, you give THEM that same look...

873) ...after all, when someone claims not to know about civ, you know that it's impossible...

874) ...you finally figure that this must be a spy from an enemy country trying to waste your shields by making pollution so you have to build engineers...

875) ...then coming back to reality, you realize that this is not possible since you can't do this with spies in civ.

876) You have your first civ II manual in a glass cabinet on display, tattered and falling apart, and beside it, your first civ II CD, worn down from use.

877) You have already gone through several books and CDs, wearing them all out.

 

[Specialist290]

878. You play your very first game on Diety an without looking at the manual--and win.

879. Your philosophy on fantasy and reality: "Civ2 is reality, and reality is Civ2. All else is fantasy."

880. You can find 4-special sites without using Hutfinder even when all four specials are covered by Grassland.

881. You reason that transport planes, suicide bombers, hovercraft, etc. do not really exist since there are no corresponding Civ2 units.

882. You win a Middle-Earth scenario by Spaceship (imagine: the "GSS Aragorn").

883. You have dreams where a Swiss spaceship is being attacked and dismantled by Barbarian Horsemen (had that one last night...)

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

884) You and your girlfriend/boyfriend/lover are having sex while playing a HOTseat game! (I don't have a girlfriend, so I never had the pleasure )

 

[The Person]

834. You are appalled at the stupidity of the US gov't. for not selling all of their Power, Hydro, and Nuclear Plants once Hoover Dam was built.

Now I understand the US budget deficit...

Rating: (1 - 6)


(I'll update my "Best of" list when we reach 1000.)

885 - You understand a lot of stupid "real life" things when you compare them to Civ2.

886 - You don't understand a lot of other stupid "real life" things when you compare them to Civ2.

887 - You don't believe the Civilopedia descriptions anymore. (Hey, that didn't happen in any of my games!)

888 - You remember every single game you have ever played.

889 - You plan to get number 900.

890 - You think people who are tanned are losers. (What's so wrong about a completely white skin tone? It's even easier to get!)

891 - You figure out a way to put your Civ2 computer in your car and play Civ2 on it...

892 - ...but on the first ride with it you cause an accident since all your attention is on Civ2.

893 - When you spam to get no. 900.

894 - Your wife asks you to come down for dinner for the tenth time.

895 - Your wife asks you to come down for dinner for the twentieth time.

896 - Your wife asks you to come down for dinner for the thirtieth time.

897 - You buy a laptop to play Civ2 on when eating dinner...

898 - ...and don't eat, since you're too busy playing Civ2.

899 - You are still able to post in this thread.

900 - You get number 900.

 

[ElephantU]

901. You teach your kids Civ2 because it is such a perfect illustration of the progress of history, diplomacy, economics, military confrontation and nation building.

902. Your ADD kid is cured, your "introvert-disorder" kid becomes Genghis Khan, and your "do-nothing" kid finds a way to break the AD1 barrier for OCC.

 

[Specialist290]

(Person: Glad to see that one got a 5 )

903. (ties in to 902) You advertise Civ2 as a "cure-all" in a psychological journal.

904. You don't give a hoot for politics in RL, but your position in the Demo/Fundy/Commie issue is very strong, almost to or even past the point of vehement criticism of anyone who disagrees.

905. You see a couple in light blue clothing and come at 2 conclusions: either they're happy, or they're from Persia.

906. You figure that the easiest way to get the population of the US to grow is to sell only light blue clothing in retail stores, since everybody will be forced to buy them and thus become happy (or, if the plan backfires, Persians ).

907. You obsess over Swiss Spaceships heading for Alpha Centauri.

908. You are not surprised that this list is almost 9/10 finished.

909. ...Or, if you are surprised, it's because you think it's been taking too long and that it should have reached 1000 a long time ago.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

910) Your AOL program wakes you up from a nap notifying you of new mail and you rush to the computer to see if it's a reply to this thread. (Just happened to me moments ago!)

 

[Specialist290]

911. You wonder who built Women's Suffrage.

912. You are racing to get that 1000th reason.

913. ...But miss your chance because you are too busy playing Civ2.

914. You are posting this in an effort to disrupt PlutonianEmpire's naps.

915. You decide to compile a compendium of info on this thread, like who got the most reasons, who got the most reasons in one post, who got the most reasons per day, etc.

916. ...But you never even start on it because you're too busy playing Civ2.

917. You want to post more reasons.

918. ...But you can't because you're too busy playing CIv2.

919. You have a feeling that some of these reasons might be redundant and repetitive.

920. ...But you're too busy playing Civ2 to notice.

921. A Civ2 demo on a computer in an electronics store draws you like a moth to a flame.

922. ...That is, if you ever leave that comfy chair of yours, stop playing Civ2 on your own computer, and go somewhere.

923. You deliver a presentation on the advantages and disadvantages of conducting war and trade in each Civ2 gov't.

924. You write a treatise on how to conduct war in Civ2.

925. You notice that there are only 75 reasons left.

926. You're a whiz at math, as long as it only involves how much money it will take to bribe that little sz1 city on the fringe of your opponent's empire or the delivery bonus for shuttling 500 Uranium Freight all to the same sz55 city halfway around the world from you.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

Nice try specialist290, but I was awake that time!

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

927) You believe that this thread will punch through 1000 within 24 hours, and then skyrocket from there, not stopping until 8,321,472,513,249 reasons have been posted.

928) You start a thread in the Civ2 - Multiplayer & PBEM forum hoping to find a "Civ2" buddy, and maybe even your soul mate... (I'm a Male, believe it or not!)

929) You believe that three hundred years from now, the Plutonian Empire has come to life and spans countless trillions of light years, and you hope that its leader, who's 319 years old and still very young, may someday marry Miss Universe 2304.

930) You waste time trying to come up with something for this thread when you know that you are just 70 reasons away from being a potential "winner."

 

[Specialist290]

931. (corollary to 914) You are posting in this to get a response from PlutonianEmpire.

932. You just have to post one more reason.

933. ...But you decide finishing that Civ2 game so you can pummel the Zulu Phalances (plural of Phalanx) and Crusaders into the dust with your Armor and Howitzers is more important.

934. Whenever you spot a stained glass window in a church, you always see if you can find Joan of Arc in there.

PE: I'll stop bugging you after this one

EDIT: Dang! Gotta renumber!

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

935) Specialist290 post his 4 reasons just 3 minutes after PlutonianEmpire posts his 4 reasons, and they both have the same numbers for their reasons.

 

[Specialist290]

936. You take notice of odd coincidences, particularly if they involve Civ2 or this thread.

EDIT: Changing wording: "Of" instead of "at."

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

937) You think that these "coincidences" may have been the works of a "higher power," especially if that higher power turns out to be hostile aliens from Nibiru, who MIGHT be the fathers of humanity??????

(Note: I read something about that somewhere on the internet. Just type in "Nibiru," without quotations of course, and you'll get oodles of articles)

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

I'll edit the above if anybody finds it offensive.

 

[Specialist290]

938. You buy a set of raffle tickets to see who will get 1000 first: PlutonianEmpire or me.

939. You are the guy at the bottom of the hill selling the raffle tickets.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

940) You suddenly get the urge to take over the White House and start nuking the evil Romans.

941) You start getting excited over the possibility of getting a thousand reasons for this thread.

942) You are not paying attention to Jay Leno's monologue because you are to busy posting reasons on this thread.

 

[Specialist290]

943. You are not listening to anything (even loud , angry shouts involving internet usage, maybe sprinkled here and there with expletives) because you are busy posting reasons on this thread.

944. You consider nuking Babylon to be more important than posting 1000 reasons in this thread.

945. You hope they don't close this thread because you still have tons of reasons you could give.

946. When you're conducting a perfectly-timed 1-turn conquest and the computer freezes just before you take that last city which is now undefended, you sit down and cry.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

947) Your new favorite movie is The Day After Tomorrow, but you are too busy nuking the Romans to go to the theater.

948) You think that the "final round of the battle of the Jaywalk Allstars" on Jay Leno symbolizes the "race" occuring between Specialist290 and PlutonianEmpire to get to reason # 1000 for this thread.

949) You decide to steal your government's world maps in hopes of finding "A deserted island somewhere..." so you can organize a USA tank division to invade it so you can buy time. (Don't worry, Specialist290, this is all in good fun...)

950) You have to come up with 50 more reasons for this thread in order to win the "race."

 

[Specialist290]

951. You have "A Deserted Island Somewhere" PRB an Engineer, put it on a Transport, and use it to found "Another Deserted Island Somewhere Else" in order to foil the plot by your enemies to destroy you.

952. Youaresoexcitedandwanttogetthe100threasonsobadlythatyouomitthespacesbetweenthewordstosavetime.

953. You wonder if the "1000 Reasons" list is a wonder and each "reason" is a shield.

954. You wonder where that Freight unit might be...