1000 ways you know you've played Civ2 too much when...

[Specialist290]

1058. You can save a game, reopen it 20 years later, and play it just like you would have if you had decided to sit there and keep playing to the end.

1059. ...But that would be wasting 20 years, wouldn't it?

1060. You actually count up who got how many of the 1st 1000 reasons.

1061. Like in casinos, your computer room does not have a clock in it (you even disabled the one on the computer).

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

1062) You make plans to get all the world's population hooked on Civ2.

1063) You post hundreds of reasons to this thread in a time span of less than 24 hours when it took others 2.5 years just to get to 700.

1064) Your wife divorces you for playing too much civ2. (Someone may have placed a similar reason earlier this thread, but oh well...)

1065) You get President Bush hooked to Civ2

1066) You plan on hacking the world's nuclear arsenals, but are to busy playing civ2.

1067) You use hex editing to find a way to use civ2 to hack the world's nuclear arsenals.

1068) The events of The Day After Tomorrow actually take place, but you are too busy playing civ2 to notice the L.A. tornadoes bearing down on the skyscraper you are in.

1069) The events of The Day After Tomorrow actually take place, and the tidal wave engulfs New York, but your house has its own power generator so you could keep playing civ2.

1070) You are just about to vanquish the evil Russians just as you are freeze-dried by the events of The Day After Tomorrow taking place in New York.

 

[Specialist290]

1071. 2 Days After Tomorrow you look out on the bleak landscape, see a bunch of people wandering around, and think, "Did God decide to restart the game?" (And yes, I do know that "The Day After Tomorrow" is a movie. Just to save others the trouble of asking...)

1072. If He did, you wish He had done it on a different map this time so that someone other than the Arabs would end up with all the Oil.

1073. You believe the events of "the Day After Tomorrow" will occur in 2020.

1074. You are invited to Mt. Olympus by Zeus and Prometheus to take part in an eternal feast of heavenly bread and the nectar of the gods, but decline the invitation so you can play Civ2.

1075. Thor's mighty hammer strikes the ground, Ragnarok begins, and--most importantly--your spaceship arrives just before the Mongols take your last city during a very, very hard game.

1076. You come up with a solution to poverty in the Third World--"Build more Freight."

1077. As global war threatens to destroy the planet, with the ultimate decision being in the hands of one supergenius with a laptop, you attack him, seize the laptop, install and play Civ2, and doom humanity.

1078. ...But at least you got a few more minutes of Civ2 before you succumbed to all the radioactive dust in the air.

1079. You take a bunch of money, throw it at a building that is under construction, and expect it to instantly assemble itself.

1080. Instead of spending hours each day training and equipping your troops, you give each of them a wad of cash and expect them to be battle-ready (leading to your immediate and subsequent discharge from the Army).

1081. You give a bunch of money to scientisdts who are working on the Cure for Cancer, then wonder why its completion isn't announced in the next day's paper.

1082. You play Civ2 for so long that your body withers away and you are reduced to being a brain floating in a jar filled with amino acids and electrically-charged fluids (attached to a pair of hands so you can keep playing Civ2, of course )

1083. You try multitasking with Civ2 running.

1084. "Multitasking" quickly becomes "Single-tasking." (hint hint)

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

1085) Courtney Love Hewitt walks into the room naked and starts humping your [insert body part here], but you are too busy to notice her getting pregnant with your child because you are too busy playing civ2.

1086) A Nibiruan spaceship lands in your front yard and their leader gives you the opportunity to rule everything in a radius of 12,000 light years, but you decline because you want to play civ2.

NOTE: I "believe" that they may exist, but I don't like them but I have heard "horror" stories about what they did to Earth in the past.

Sorry, I just couldn't resist.

 

[ElephantU]

1087) You wonder if this is the night S290 and PE go for #2000...

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

Probably not.

 

[The Person]

1088 - There is a 10 centimeter dust layer on everything in your room, but you don't notice, since you're too busy playing Civ2.

1089 - Except on your pedestal with your first Civ2 CD.

1090 - On which there's only a five centimeter layer.

1091 - You want to get number 1100.

1092 - You don't believe that the Internet exists, since it's not mentioned in Civ2.

1093 - You think that Civ2 should be a wonder in Civ2.

1094 - You make a Modpack where Civ2 is a wonder. (Hanging Gardens, does never expire.)

 

[The Person]

1095 - You post twice in a row to get number 1100.

1096 - You wonder why roads aren't brown.

1097 - This is the only thread you have posted in for some time.

1098 - (In corollary to number 1092: ) In the same Modpack mentioned in number 1094 you put in a wonder called "The Internet" to make sure the Internet really exists.

1099 - You think the world will be peaceful after 2020, since because no score is calculated, you think there's no reason to make war.

1100 - You plan to get number 1100, and get it.

1101 - You wonder why there are so much things in the world called "food", when the only food you know is wheat.

1102 - You miss the psychiatrist your wife scheduled because you are too busy playing Civ2.

1103 - You have woke up in front of the computer innumerable times.

1104 - You think being a bachelor isn't that bad, since you don't have a wife who wants your attention...

1105 - ...but quickly find out that getting to eat becomes more difficult...

1106 - ...so instead you take your laptop to McDonalds and play there.

1107 - You wonder why there are no actors who look like Elvis.

1108 - You wonder why there are no scientists who look like Einstein.

1109 - Your conversations are like the diplomacy screen.

1110 - You want to get number 1111, too.

1111 - You get number 1111.

I'll update my "Best of"-list again when we reach 1500.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

1112) You place your civ2 military advisor's comments in one of your novels (This bloody council be damned, sire! We have mighty soldiers with the will to fight! Let us go forth!).

The above comment by the military advisor is my favorite.

 

[Specialist290]

1113. You post some of the reasons in your sig.

1114. You see things you haven't done in this list and go, "Man! I ought to try that!"

1115. You set goals for getting certain reasons, and acheive them.

1116. You think that all RR turns are at 45-90 degree angles, and that there are no curves.

1117. You read Starship Troopers (or see the movie) and think that it would make a great Civ2 scenario.

1118. You pop a bag of popcorn to eat while you play Civ2.

1119. Either you finish the bag before the game...

1120. ...Or you forget to get it out of the microwave because of the game.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

1121) You have modern day technology (and a few civilization-specific supertechs added in the rules.txt file) by 1570 A.D. and you still have ancient horsemen & chariots fortified somewhere in your nation's territory, while all 6 other civs are still in the stone & middle ages (on Prince difficulty level)

 

[Specialist290]

1121) You have modern day technology (and a few civilization-specific supertechs added in the rules.txt file) by 1570 A.D. and you still have ancient horsemen & chariots fortified somewhere in your nation's territory, while all 6 other civs are still in the stone & middle ages (on Prince difficulty level)

Same here (except the civ-specific techs and the outdated units; I'm a Leo's fan)

1122. You can play at D+852 and win.

1123. You promote Civ2 as a form of "stress-relief." (Who doesn't want to nuke somebody after a hard day at work/school/wherever?)

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

I also like Leo's workshop (in my scenarios, it is renamed to Plutonian Workshop) so I eliminated the obsolecense. 1121 occured just tonight, and I had it built by that time. I still had the ancient units because I hadn't researched Chivalry yet

1124) You create a scenario with rules.txt edited so you can hog the REALLY good Wonders to yourself (Workshop, Great Library, etc).

 

[The Person]

1125 - You don't have time to make scenarios, since playing Civ2 is more important...

1126 - ...but then you find out how much fun it is to playtest them...

1127 - ...but you still find "real" Civ2 to be best.

1128 - You can easily win a game by just producing units at Deity+2 (you can't cal yourself an addict before you play only on Deity+ (except GOTMs). Sadly, that disqualifies me). By conquest, of course.

1129 - You post reasons that disqualify you from being an addict, to make it look like you aren't, which isn't true.

1130 - You think that Julius Caesar is still alive.

1131 - You remake the rules.txt completely to make the game more challenging.

1132 - Your dreams are in 8-bit color...

1133 - ...and in 2D...

1134 - ...and the people in your dreams look like the people from people.gif...

1135 - ...and when you get up, you are able recreate your dream to the last detail.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

1136) The Feds arrest you for chanting, "I'll nuke the damn English!" in front of the White House.

1137) You ask the Foreign Advisor's hand in marriage, but her only response is, "Let's research Espionage."

1138) You view the credits so you can find out what your Foreign Advisor's name is.

1139) You miss your wedding because you are too busy nuking stone-age Russians on civ2.

1140) Your girlfriend asks your hand in marriage, but you decline because you want to play civ2.

1141) You are just about to get laid when you remember a civ2 game and yell out, "Those damn Germans!" and the German prostitute punches you in the groin.

 

[Lord Sankra]

1141) You are just about to get laid when you remember a civ2 game and yell out, "Those damn Germans!" and the German prostitute punches you in the groin.

From your own excperience?


1142) You start writing down 1000 reasons why you've NOT played civ 2 too much...

 

[Prof. Garfield]

You know it would be real nice if people, with giant space wasting signatures especialy, posted in a more civilized way.

 

[ferenginar]

1143 you log on to mail2web, to check your e-mails and start up civ whilst you wait. 2 hours later you realise you haven't looked at your e-mail yet and you have a 2 hour phone bill to come.

1144 You forget to breath properly, or take any form of refreshment, your mouth gets sop dry that your tongue ticks to the roof of your mouth.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

Response to Lord Sankra: No, not from experience, from imagination (I have never met a prostitute before).

 

[scloopy]

1142 You worry about your mind after continuing to read this thread.
1143 You scream at the red knight at the Medeivle Knights Dinner Theater that he is worthless wastrel and a criminal when you see his red shield.
1144 When the Kings Knight cheats you tell everyone at your table that "See I told you the AI Cheats.".
1145 You try to talk your family into staying and watching the Knights upgrade to Calvery.