1001 Bad (or good) Jokes About CIV

[Doctor Doom]

23. "Shaka are you going to invade me?" "Ikanda want to."

 

[Magma_Dragoon]

I don't speak English, I speak...
(•_&#8226
( •_&#8226>⌐■-■
(⌐■_&#9632

Washing-tongue

YEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

 

[Doctor Doom]

i don't speak english, i speak...
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_&#9632

washing-tongue

yeaaaaaaahhhhhh!

10/10!

 

[Fish Man]

23. "Shaka are you going to invade me?" "Ikanda want to."

It's actually 27, since somebody forgot to number 4. Next one is 28.

28. I would love to use the leader of Poland as a pokemon, but I can't Casimir.

Geddit?

Spoiler :

Casimir -> "cast him here"

Come on guys, only 973 more to go.

 

[otaman1]

Isn't it suppose to be 30? God nibbit people, number your jokes.

30. Alexander husband whom is Alexander.

Alexander = Alex and her

 

[Adjuvant]

My people just learned how to get extra food from a cotton field. Anyone hungry?

 

[Viregel]

Someone correct me on numerical order if I'm wrong.

31. I wanted some of Bismark's cities, so I tried making a deal with him. I started out by giving him 10 gold for Munich, but he only seemed to want "nine".

Spoiler :

Nine=Nein.

 

[cpm4001]

@Viregel, your joke should be at #32 - @adjuvant didn't number his joke (which should be #31.)

 

[Magma_Dragoon]

Dido asks Askia what he wants in exchange for one of his spices. He says "Eyin' ja booty"

 

[seanflokstra7]

#34 In Russia, there's a new hype going on, called catting in
For their leaders birthday, they decided to Cat-her-in

Haha, right? Anybody? Dad?

 

[Sturmgewher88mm]

#35 Can India has nukes?

 

[Fish Man]

36. I'm just sikh of India nuking me every time.

 

[JimBobV]

37. Wu Zetian China wants to attack Genghis, But she doesn't want to even though she Khan!

 

[Greizer85]

... So jokes are puns now? It's so easy to make puns in English that I'm tempted to make one right now. However, let's have some real jokes instead:

37. Q: Why did Gandhi cross the road? A: To nuke you in the face!

38. What do you call a Mexican sandwich? Nothing; Mexico doesn't exist.

39. If only there were more fascist governments! It would make fascism far more popular, even in democratic nations. (Sadly there might be more than a little truth to this...)

40. A little known fact is you don't need computers for the internet. I'm posting with a rotten log as we speak.

41. Coal plants are just as clean as solar or nuclear ones. Crazy hippies!

42. Camels are in fact horses. Ask the Arabs if you don't believe me.

43. Englang won the battle of Agincourt by shooting their arrows across the English channel, preventing the French grom responding.

44. Don't go into trade school. There's no jobs for merchants.

45. It's good to be Portuguese, you can have free souvenirs.

That's it for now... They're more statements than jokes, but hey, anything beats puns.

 

[redwings1340]

... So jokes are puns now? It's so easy to make puns in English that I'm tempted to make one right now. However, let's have some real jokes instead

Jokes aren't necessarily puns, but all puns are jokes, so it applies.

Also, as we've discussed in another thread, factories that run on negative coal are probably pretty clean.

 

[Heinage]

46. How on earth did Babylon lose the space race??
Because nebby kept throwing beakers away...

 

[S.O.T MAHak]

47. Playing as Enrico is a good choice, Venice it not?
48. Iroquois no iron for my Mohawk warriors.
49. Why isn't there any 1001 Arabian knights in the game?

 

[S.O.T MAHak]

46. How on earth did Babylon lose the space race??
Because nebby kept throwing beakers away...

Or because they didn't finish their space elevator!

 

[Beaver79]

50. I spawned the great prophet Confucius one time and his screen said

"He who goes to bed with itchy butt wakes up with stinky finger."


Also

What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler :

a stick

 

[Gori the Grey]

51. Sure I'll sell you my gold. How were you planning to pay for that?