Are there any "hikikomori" here?

[Eran of Arcadia]

Here at college I don't have any real frineds. In my 3 years I have only once made arrangements to eat a meal with someone else; I almost always eat alone. I spend almost all my Friday nights in my room. I do sometimes feel like my failures (real or perceived) drive me further into isolation. Still, I like to think that I haven't gotten that far. Yet.

 

[ketalis]

Here at college I don't have any real frineds. In my 3 years I have only once made arrangements to eat a meal with someone else; I almost always eat alone. I spend almost all my Friday nights in my room. I do sometimes feel like my failures (real or perceived) drive me further into isolation. Still, I like to think that I haven't gotten that far. Yet.

That's why its so important to have a roomate your first year, so your forced to interact. I'll admit that I'm a bit of a hermit myself and when I go off to college this summer I'm going to get a shared room.

Also, join clubs of things you like to do. For me it will be running, paintballing, snowboarding and that is one other way to find new friends.

 

[Chukchi Husky]

I never had friends, and I failed school.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

That's why its so important to have a roomate your first year, so your forced to interact. I'll admit that I'm a bit of a hermit myself and when I go off to college this summer I'm going to get a shared room.

Also, join clubs of things you like to do. For me it will be running, paintballing, snowboarding and that is one other way to find new friends.

Oh, I have a roommate. We never talk much (although we get along just fine). Also there are no clubs of the things I like to do, as most of the things I like to do are solo activities (no, not that). I do have a job, and I get along pretty well with my coworkers; also, I spend about 3-5 hours a week volunteering.

 

[Xanikk999]

I never had friends, and I failed school.

Hey your exactly like me. I feel sorry for you but sometimes you just HAVE TO force yourself to talk to people. Just talk to them start a conversation and before you know it you will be friends.

You are quite a pessimest but you gotta try to overcome your anti-social ways. Im still trying myself.

 

[Chukchi Husky]

I tried to make friends, but whenever I do I end up being bullied.

 

[Xanikk999]

I tried to make friends, but whenever I do I end up being bullied.

What grade are you in? In highschool and especially middle school the kids can be very nasty. But the first step into college it is VERY different. At least it was for me. The people there are more focused on thier education and are socially acceptable.

I mean why would you pay for college just to not put any effort into it and get bad grades? I mean i guess there are those steriotypical college kids who think its all about partying and booze but they are the ones who waste their parents money and flunk out.

 

[joycem10]

You really have to wonder about the Japanese sometime. Where will that country be in 20 years.

They seem capable of the oddest extremes. From tentacle porn to cosplay to rabid xenophobia to this... I will never understand that culture.

 

[downtown]

wow, that lifestyle seems awfully dull. I wouldnt able to handle no human interaction. I'm out and about a lot (although i guess you wouldnt know it from CFC...since i post here a lot too)

 

[Chukchi Husky]

What grade are you in? In highschool and especially middle school the kids can be very nasty. But the first step into college it is VERY different.

I can't go to college.

 

[nonconformist]

I was pretty sick a few years ago.....I didn't leabve the house excet for school for a good few months.

Worse than that, I got dillusional, and I kept on imagining I was going to be killed.
I spent months shivering at home waiting for the guy to come and kill me.....

 

[GenMarshall]

I remembered that I have lifed that kind of lifestyle for about a few years since Middle School. I chose to distance myself from my other peers because I did not trust anyone of my age because I was brutaly picked on by both genders. I decided to close myself into isolation to escape thoes idiotic kids.

Then comes High School, I only had a few best friends. But in all things only improved a little. Due because thoes idiotic kids who followed me into high school, It was impossible for me to get a clean slate. So I became a loner all through out high school and only had a few social contacts. I did have a few GF, but they all broke my heart.

It was not untill I came into college that I have gotten a clean slate and leave isolationism behind and break out of being a loner. Though it was a challenge because I have developed a bit of shyness during my isolation because of distrust of my peers.

What grade are you in? In highschool and especially middle school the kids can be very nasty. But the first step into college it is VERY different. At least it was for me. The people there are more focused on thier education and are socially acceptable.

I certanly had first experiance in seeing thoes middle schoolers being so nasty to one another and always emphasising apperance. I have heard and believe that it is true that "Kids are the meanest people on the face of the planet". I know that this question is directed to C_H, but I felt that I should place in my $.02 about my experiance. Ill aslo back that "But the first step into college it is VERY different." because it will give you a clean slate and a clean reputation. Believe me when I say this, I had friends back in my freshman-sophmore years in college that helped me break out of my shell and out of my isolationsim. Believe me when I say this that I have more Girl Friends (But I am still going with my philosophies in life that I should only be loyal to one woman, I go by this saying "If you chase two rabbits, you will lose them both") than I did when I was in High School because of my new personal self. I feel more happyer now in College than I was in High School. I am even more socialy active now.

I mean why would you pay for college just to not put any effort into it and get bad grades? I mean i guess there are those steriotypical college kids who think its all about partying and booze but they are the ones who waste their parents money and flunk out.

There are quite a few in my college who are like that and do get a one way ticket out of college. I am very fortunate to find friends who are also deticated to their studies.

 

[h4ppy]

I was pretty sick a few years ago.....I didn't leabve the house excet for school for a good few months.

Worse than that, I got dillusional, and I kept on imagining I was going to be killed.
I spent months shivering at home waiting for the guy to come and kill me.....

Don't worry, I'm sure he will get around to it eventually.

 

[marioh]

Even if I wanted to, I couldn't be a "hikikomori".

Not leaving room = no income = eviction

 

[GenMarshall]

Even if I wanted to, I couldn't be a "hikikomori".

Not leaving room = no income = eviction

Well, it would be possible if you live under your parents roof and they provide the income.

 

[marioh]

Well, it would be possible if you live under your parents roof and they provide the income.

Considering I'm 34, that would be pretty pathetic of me.

 

[The Last Conformist]

Considering I'm 34, that would be pretty pathetic of me.

And being a hikikomori itself isn't?

 

[Sparta]

I'm anti-social, but not as bad as those guys. Why don't their parents just physically force them out of their rooms? Where are the parents in all of this?

From what I've read, it seems like the parents are often times too embarrassed to deal with it pro-actively, and prefer hiding it to confronting it. They would rather deal with harboring a hikikomori quietly than deal with the social stigma attached to public knowledge of their situation. I suppose in some ways that's not that uncommon a phenomenon.

What I find interesting is the notion that these individuals would start deriving all of their social experience from TV and the internet (talk about the fall of civilization). Imagine if your only social interaction whatsoever was online. You could go crazy and become obsessed with Huge Killer Cyborgs, or something like that .

 

[Chukchi Husky]

Imagine if your only social interaction whatsoever was online.

It is for me.

 

[marioh]

And being a hikikomori itself isn't?

For non-adults, I don't think it necessarily is. Alot of pressure on young people nowadays, especially so with the Japanese culture. The young hikkikomori certainly need some serious psychological help. Being painted as pathetic certainly doesn't help their self esteem and would probably make it worse.

But if you live at home w/parents into your 30's, then yes, that is indeed pathetic, hikkikomori or not.