As an Evil Dictator, how would you execute the hero?

[FearlessLeader2]

Well, the title speaks for itself.

Personally, (and this is just me, other evil overlords have their own styles) I'd have my ninjas kill him on sight. In fact, if he actually managed to get within a mile of my capital, I'd have my chief of security executed for incompetence.

The smart evil overlord is a coward through and through. He DOES want to live to see tomorrow.

Should I actually find that my ninjas had taken the hero prisoner, I'd give them a nice bonus. I'd then interrogate him ruthlessly using drugs, sleep and sensory deprivation, and then simply shut off the life support to the tank, and fire a few rounds into it through the gun port installed for that very purpose.

 

[Mikoyan]

The 'hero's' death would be far to evil, disgusting and cruel for me to explain.
*HINT* It will include probing.

 

[CurtSibling]

Aha! flattery is the lowest form of imitation!

But hey!
Such ruthless bloodthirst!

And I wouldn't expect anything less from a man with a templar
as his avatar!

Are these ninjas for hire?

My treatment of the hero would depend if the hero was male or female.

I am a non-sexist dictator!

Hero-treatment, upon capture:
If he was skilled I would offer him a place as a lieutenant,
(after brain-washing of course)

If she was skilled, I would offer her a place as a high-ranking assasin. (after the mandatory brainwashing.)

If the hero is a she-ra type princess of light, I would give her the choice of being killed by my amazons, or being a brain-washed minion, I couldn't ask her to be my hot plaything,

Cos she-ra would never give shack-up with an evil dictator.

Or would she?

 

[FearlessLeader2]

With gullibility like that, you won't last ten minutes as Evil Dictator and Beloved Presidente for Life. The hero and heroine ALWAYS shake off brainwashing. ALWAYS. They just can't be trusted.

 

[joespaniel]

Originally posted by Mikoyan
The 'hero's' death would be far to evil, disgusting and cruel for me to explain.
*HINT* It will include probing.

OW!

 

[The Balrog]

I would make some men poke at his head with sticks every tenth second.

 

[CurtSibling]

Originally posted by FearlessLeader2
With gullibility like that, you won't last ten minutes as Evil Dictator and Beloved Presidente for Life. The hero and heroine ALWAYS shake off brainwashing. ALWAYS. They just can't be trusted.

Ha! You think I do not know this, fearless one?

You foolish mortal.

I have brainwashing experts that make Charles Manson look like a beginner.
My evil ex-soviet and SS officers who have a strict programme
that would make turn George Bush into a drooling communist,
If I so wished it!

My wars are fought for people's brains as well as land!

And the hero is always so simple-minded, hit him with some
questions about his morals and he will crumble, every time!

ALWAYS!

PS
I'll have my revolver on me during interrogation, just in case!

 

[amadeus]

I'd just rip off from "Goldfinger" -- get a titanium board, slant it 20 degrees, install a pair of those steel cuffs that hold your hands and ankles down, and use a slow-moving laser beam that would eventually fry the ...well, you know.

 

[CurtSibling]

Originally posted by rmsharpe
I'd just rip off from "Goldfinger" -- get a titanium board, slant it 20 degrees, install a pair of those steel cuffs that hold your hands and ankles down, and use a slow-moving laser beam that would eventually fry the ...well, you know.

Hmmm...I think Ned-King Sixchan would approve of this!

 

[goodbye_mr_bond]

Oh no! Not a SLOW-moving laser beam?!?
I suppose you'd also leave the room after announcing your evil plans in great and unnecessary detail?

What are you guys, in Bad Guy Remedial School?


Almost forgot: I'd do the poison thing personally... But I'd LIE! It wouldn't really be poison at all. Mwahaahahahaaaha!! Do you see the evil twisted genius of my ploy?

Do you? Ah, the maliciosity...

Oh, for heaven's sake, it's obvious: The hero would never allow you to have the final victory, so he would be forced to kill himself in a poignant moment of selflessness--not realizing that he wouldn't really have died from the poison! Get it? Now do you see the diabolific potential? Oh, just forget it...

THe likes of you could never comprehend a true visionary such as I.

 

[TheDuckOfFlanders]

I would arm 200 super nice chick's with a sh*tload of sexual deceases.
me having antidote afcourse

 

[Sixchan]

Does the Ned-king have to be a ned?

After giving everyone new pocket knives, trackies and packs of cigarettes, I now have thousands of illiterate homicidal maniacs working for me (and what Evil Dictator doesn't want that?).

However, the 'Ned-king' has to be practical, and I would just shoot him, I have miles of paperwork to get through.

 

[amadeus]

Originally posted by goodbye_mr_bond
Oh no! Not a SLOW-moving laser beam?!?
I suppose you'd also leave the room after announcing your evil plans in great and unnecessary detail?

That's a good idea.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Oh, you small minded individuals, hear now the voice of true and pure evil.
THE TOP THREE
3.) Drown them in lard
2.) Eat them

and, drumroll please maestro,

1.) This doesn't need words, just music
(the opening strains of the "Dueling Banjos" from Deliverance can be heard.... )

 

[Apollo]

Originally posted by Simon Darkshade
Oh, you small minded individuals, hear now the voice of true and pure evil.
THE TOP THREE
3.) Drown them in lard
2.) Eat them

and, drumroll please maestro,

1.) This doesn't need words, just music
(the opening strains of the "Dueling Banjos" from Deliverance can be heard.... )

*shudder*

Once this becomes known, no heroes will ever turn up because they will all have converted to your side out of fear!

 

[Becka]

I picked the monolouge one. I like evil monolouges. But of course, I'd have to beat him a couple times with my riding crop. No self-respecting stylish dictator should be without a riding crop to point out secret locations on big, fancy maps.


Ah, malicious pleasure.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

"Once this becomes known, no heroes will ever turn up because they will all have converted to your side out of fear!"

Yes, that is the general intention. That'll learn them to take a downriver wilderness trip with a difference You find true evil when you head south.

 

[The Balrog]

Originally posted by Becka
I picked the monolouge one. I like evil monolouges. But of course, I'd have to beat him a couple times with my riding crop. No self-respecting stylish dictator should be without a riding crop to point out secret locations on big, fancy maps.


Ah, malicious pleasure.

OOOOhhhh......

 

[polymath]

I wouldn't do any of that stuff.
I would remove his hands, feet, eyes and tongue, leaving only his ears. The rest of his life would be filled only with my relentless, mocking laughter. I'd have to tape some relentless mocking laughter, obviously. Or hire an impersonator. Or fill his ears with cotton wool if I wasn't there.
Bwahahahaha!

 

[Simon Darkshade]

And of course there is this one, an exchange between Phillip of Burgundy and Edmund Blackadder, that is ...most appropriate:

Phillip of Burgundy: In precisely one minute, the spike will go up your nethers

{He indicates a large spike below the seat}

Phillip: The shears will cut off your ears.

{He toys with one of Edmunds ears that is between two blades of a pair of
shears on the chair}

Edmund: Both of them ?

Phillip: Yes. Then these axes will chop off your hands and I do not think we need to go into the attributes of... the coddling grinder.

{He indicates a rotating set of blades between Edmunds thighs}

Phillip: Then these feathers will tickle you under whats left of your arms and that...is the amusing part.
Gentlemen, let us go and slaughter the Royal Family!
God Save the King!

Six: Cos nobody else will!

You can't beat that for a way to go, except of course, the dueling banjos...