I don't need an exact description of your experiences. I appreciate it may be personal and hard to convey in words. I am wondering about the nature of them. What I would imagine:
- Feeling a loving presence who comforts you.
- Having seemingly miraculous events happen before your eyes (the agnostic athy in me needed to put the word "seemingly" in there, ignore at will (I think going on your remark "they can easily dismiss them as coincidence, imagination, pure luck" some of your experiences will be of this nature)
- Getting an inner conviction when faced with a hard decision.
I'm not looking to debunk these, or dismiss them, since it should be clear beforehand that I believe other explanations would account for your experiences. If I didn't I wouldn't be an atheist now would I?
But one thing surprised me in your comment
This seems to me your faith was already in place when you had your personal experiences which confirmed and reinforced those believes.
Is that right? If so, what made you have faith in the first place?
Wow, I go out of town for a couple days, and this turns into a discussion on New Age theology. It is a pretty convenient belief system.
I'll do my best to answer this, and trust that it reads as well as it feels.
Yes, Ziggy, my faith was in place before any confirming experiences, quite a while as I recall it.
Your guess work as to their nature is quite close to the mark. I would suspect you know a bit about this sort of thing.
I understand your questions are sincere, and I'll do my best to respond.
But first things first: At the age of 12 or 13, I was in church one Sunday. I can get bored real easy, and my mind wanders if it is not focused on something. So sitting there, I pulled out the church hymnal, and began to read the words of the songs. I love to read, always have, so this was a natural thing to do.
I was taken by the sentiments and words used by the writers of those hymns. It was very plain that they had truly experienced something, or at the very least, strongly believed what they were writing about.
And in looking around, at that church, and at how much Christianity had become a part of everyday life, it just made sense to me that there was someone "up there" who caused it all to be.
So I said a prayer, all on my own, telling God that I was going to believe in Him. And that was pretty much that. Jesus said that all it takes is the faith the size of a mustard seed, and that was about all I had.
As for the nature of the experiences. There are various ones, and I suppose taken one at a time, and out of the context of the moment of the experience, many will just pass them off. And I am sure some will say that their meaning is just misunderstood.
Nothing much I can do about that.
There have been times when I can say I felt a certain presence.
But those can be so subject to an emotion of a moment, or a state of mind, that one has to be careful with such things. No one can base a system of belief simply upon an emotion.
And emotions are not really an experience, but a reaction to that experience. I think some get into alot of trouble by confusing the two.
I need to add here that the emotion of experiencing God's presence in your life is huge. There is nothing that can compare to it. And the very inadequate explaination is the awareness of extreme power, love, forgiveness, and freedom all in one big light.
It weighs you down and lifts you up at the same time. I know that this makes no sense at all to many, but then again "holistic pantheistic view of god" makes no sense to me, either.
The "inner conviction" comment has alot to it. I believe that God gave us a conscience, a basic knowing of right and wrong. It might be trained to act and react in a certain way, or be ignored to the point where it seems to be non-existant.
But there have been times when I just knew something, or knew a course of action to take.(or not take) And those have never, never been wrong.
The Bible talks about a "still small voice" that you hear with your mind.
I have been in situations where circumstances and events totally beyond my control led me to certain actions. And they had remarkable results. Or where I was a spectator to something, that I had no control over, but gave me a direction or answer in my life.
There has been the rare occasion where something that can only be described as miraculous has happened either to me, or where I personally witnessed it.
Some others might be mentioned as well, but this is a good sample.