That's the whole point, that is not how *you* play, but that is how *Alex* should play. A good game of civ should not be you doing whatever you like, you should be forced to deal with your neighbors, and if Alex is your neighbor you better have some darn good defense.
It's not how I play. I don't build up a big pile of troops and then decide whether to attack with them based on my neighbor's power formula.
But I also don't want the AIs to play like humans. Again, whether that's a good thing or not depends entirely on personal preference. I like the fact that they have diplomatic attitudes, and ways of relating to the human and each other, that can be manipulated, and are part of the game.