Cheney has no friends at MySpace

[ybbor]

http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=1356&srch=

After seeing his approval ratings plummet to an all-time low in recent weeks, Vice President Dick Cheney suffered another setback today as the White House confirmed that he had no friends at MySpace.

Mr. Cheney opened an account at MySpace.com in 2004 and immediately boasted an impressive list of MySpace friends, including his former aide Lewis “Scooter” Libby and the lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

But after both men were indicted, Mr. Cheney ordered his staff to remove Mr. Libby and Mr. Abramoff from his MySpace page to obscure the fact that they had ever been his friends.

In a cruel twist of fate, however, a mass exodus of MySpace friends from Mr. Cheney’s page began months later as the vice president’s network of web-based buddies begin to hemorrhage.

“Once your approval rating hits 18 percent, you start losing a lot of friends – even on MySpace,” one Cheney aide conceded today.

As of late last night, Mr. Cheney’s sole remaining MySpace friend, a man who identified himself only as “Tom,” vanished from his web page, leaving the vice president friendless.

While Mr. Cheney is considering seeking out new friends on other Internet sites, such as Match.com or JDate.com, his aide acknowledged that the search could turn out to be fruitless.

“At this point, word has gotten around that if you’re a friend of Dick Cheney’s, you get shot in the face,” the aide said.

Elsewhere, one day after resigning from the White House to spend more time with his family, Andrew Card’s family replaced him with longtime Bush loyalist Joshua Bolten.

 

[North King]

*snorts* Good find.

 

[Maniacal]

Good one! Poor Cheney, wait, I don't like him. SUCKER!

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

Nice find

 

[Mise]

As of late last night, Mr. Cheney’s sole remaining MySpace friend, a man who identified himself only as “Tom,” vanished from his web page, leaving the vice president friendless.

That makes me think it's a joke.........

I still tried to add him though Couldn't find him

 

[Louis XXIV]

As of late last night, Mr. Cheney’s sole remaining MySpace friend, a man who identified himself only as “Tom,” vanished from his web page, leaving the vice president friendless.

OMFG, Tom too? That's hillarious

EDIT: I'm not picking on Cheney necessarily, I just find the idea that Tom would leave somebody's myspace is funny.

 

[ybbor]

OMFG, Tom too? That's hillarious

EDIT: I'm not picking on Cheney necessarily, I just find the idea that Tom would leave somebody's myspace is funny.

is tom like a default myspace user? does he automatically get added to everyone's list?

 

[Louis XXIV]

Pretty much.

 

[Abaddon]

That makes me think it's a joke.........

I still tried to add him though Couldn't find him

Tom is the guy who owns the website!

 

[Louis XXIV]

I know someone who didn't kick Tom out of his Myspace page because he wanted it to look like he had more friends

 

[Narz]

amusing

 

[malclave]

Tom is the guy who owns the website!

Ah... not knowing anything about MySpace, I thought it was a reference to Tom DeLay.

 

[ybbor]

Ah... not knowing anything about MySpace, I thought it was a reference to Tom DeLay.

ditto . until i thoguht this might be the case, at which point I went to a random myspace and saw tom and only one other friend, at which point I asked

 

[nonconformist]

Lies!
Cheney does have friends!
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=2950039