Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops

[greekguy]

By Mohammed Abbas, Reuters
7 hours ago

FALLUJA, Iraq — Hollywood action star Chuck Norris, known for his martial arts prowess and tough-guy image, has become a cult figure among the U.S. military in Iraq and an unlikely hero for some in Iraq's security forces.


A small cardboard shrine is dedicated to Norris at a U.S. military helicopter hub in Baghdad, and comments lauding the manliness and virility of the actor have been left on toilet walls across Iraq and even in neighboring Kuwait, soldiers say.


"The fastest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist," reads one message at the shrine, which consists of a signed photo of the actor surrounded by similar statements.


"Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter," reads one and "Chuck Norris divides by zero," reads another.


Known as Chuck Norris "facts," the claims have already become an Internet phenomenon, and scores are featured on www.chucknorrisfacts.com, including "Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas," and "There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma."


The actor has visited Iraq several times and was made an honorary Marine last year. Some 20 U.S. military personnel and support staff spoken to by Reuters could recite at least one Norris "fact," despite many having not visited the Web site.


U.S. troops in Iraq say his support for them and Norris' invincible image has made him their idol and insist the exaggerated and satirical claims are not meant to mock him.


"The jokes all add to his legend. They're not derogatory. He's an icon," said Sergeant Joe Lindsay at a base in Falluja in Iraq's Western Anbar province, which Norris has visited.


AN IRAQI NORRIS
Bearded and muscled, Norris shot to fame fighting kung fu legend Bruce Lee in the 1972 film The Way of the Dragon, and later films show him devastating groups of men with one kick.


"Norris visited Iraq when violence was its worst and other celebrities were skittish. He's one of the guys," U.S. military public affairs officer Specialist Mark Braden said in Baghdad.


"The Marines love him. He's like a mythical legend," Staff Sergeant Amy Forsythe in Falluja said.


Soldiers cited many reasons for his appeal. Some appreciated his films and fighting ability -- Norris is a martial arts guru, and many of his films have military themes.


Others said the masculine and plainly dressed actor was an antidote to the preening and moisturized metrosexual male.


Some praised his Christian and political values. The actor recently endorsed Republican Party presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee, though in the spirit of the Norris "facts," Marines argued it was Huckabee who endorsed Norris.


"He's helped us a lot. The appeal is also his martial arts, and sheer physical presence ... I don't think I go a day without hearing a Norris joke," said Corporal Ricardo Jones in Falluja.


Norris' appeal is not restricted to U.S. troops either. At an Iraqi police graduation ceremony in Falluja, graduates called out for their "Chuck Norris" to pose with them for photos.


"Truthfully, I didn't know who he was. I asked the Americans, and they said he was a great fighter, and that's why they named me after him. They showed me a video, and it's true, he's a great fighter" said police trainer Mohammed Rasheed.


With his handle-bar moustache, Rasheed has a vague resemblance to Norris.


Another police trainer said Chuck Norris was a role model for the police in Falluja, which until 2007 was an al Qaeda stronghold and the scene of fierce battles with security forces.


"I've seen his videos, he's a hero. He saves the city, he protects women and children and he fights crime wherever it is. We should all be like Chuck Norris," Khaled Hussein said.

http://www6.comcast.net/news/articles/general/2008/03/10/NEWS-IRAQ-NORRIS-DC/

Just had to post this. Just too funny.

 

[Leonel]

Guh I always hate Chuck Norris "jokes" as they elevate a washed up 80's actor that has to sell useless exercise equipment on late night TV to diety level.

What's the worst Chuck Norris has ever come against? Some terrorists? Bruce Campbell fought an entire army of undead and his evil twin. AND WON. Where are his accolades?

 

[Archbob]

Hell, if they can inspire the troops, why not?

 

[Jawz II]

Guh I always hate Chuck Norris "jokes" as they elevate a washed up 80's actor that has to sell useless exercise equipment on late night TV to diety level.

What's the worst Chuck Norris has ever come against? Some terrorists? Bruce Campbell fought an entire army of undead and his evil twin. AND WON. Where are his accolades?

Thats blasphemy!

Go watch Lone Wolf McQuaid 30 times, right now!

 

[puglover]

Yes! The Cult lives!

Interesting human perspective about wartime. After all, battle is only a small part of war. What goes on in the meantime?

 

[skadistic]

Thats blasphemy!

Go watch Lone Wolf McQuaid 30 times, right now!

Thats a great movie. I may watch it tonight.

 

[Gilder]

Guh I always hate Chuck Norris "jokes" as they elevate a washed up 80's actor that has to sell useless exercise equipment on late night TV to diety level.

What's the worst Chuck Norris has ever come against? Some terrorists? Bruce Campbell fought an entire army of undead and his evil twin. AND WON. Where are his accolades?

Bruce Campbell still has a career.

 

[Leonel]

Thats blasphemy!

Go watch Lone Wolf McQuaid 30 times, right now!

Get out of here, Norris chucker! Go back to your WASSUP and Rick James buddies in Losertown where you can continue to run pop culture references into the ground long after they died at your hands!

 

[LightFang]

Yes, Chuck Norris. He's so cool that he can slam a revolving door. He's also counted to infinity - twice.

 

[Gecko1]

Chuck Norris is the reason for China's overpopulation, when there was a karatre turnament in Beijing and Chuck Norris performed a roundhouse kick every woman within a 1000-mile radius became pregnant... instantly.

 

[Jawz II]

Get out of here, Norris chucker! Go back to your WASSUP and Rick James buddies in Losertown where you can continue to run pop culture references into the ground long after they died at your hands!

Lone Wolf McQuade is no less than a cineastic Master piece that I personally have watched at least 10 times. Probably more.

It came out during the 80's.

One thing you haven't yet learned in 'out of the loop old fart/goober town' is that it has never been a pop culture refrence. You are scheduled to recive this info right about now (hence me telling you).

It's just a really great effin movie. It has been just that since the mid 80's when it came out (and I first saw it about 8 times).


You better go watch all the Missing In Action series of movies too (but forget delta force, that one sucked), before you can call yourself a man.

Chuck was instructed by the dragon himself ( Bruce Lee). He once threatened to kick Steven Segal ass in some hollywood party.

Only thing stopping him from being totally awesome is his right wing christian family worshipping gibberish. Still the man is pretty great, and I've thought that since I was a kid. And he could kick your ass without breaking a sweat and he is in his 60s or so.

 

[BasketCase]

I sneezed on Chuck Norris once. The wind broke his nose.

(Guess that kinda plants me pretty firmly in the anti-CN camp, don't it )

 

[Zelig]

Chuck Norris never learned to swim because his family's gene pool was too small.

 

[holy king]

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was an exhibition game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.

The opening scene of "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in elementary school.

 

[BasketCase]

Chunk Norris flunked out of elementary school.

 

[Fifty]

This just in: new study reports that due to being away from the constant presence of TV and internet, US troops in Iraq are an average of 11 months behind on all jokes.

 

[RedRalph]

Hmmm.... with all due respect to the OP, I notice no one had piped in to tell you this isnt worth posting... 5 dead troops on the other hand...

bitter rant over

 

[sourboy]

I don't get Norris... he quotes his favorite facts on a website, sues a book for compiling the facts, then supports troops who also use the same facts as a positive image?

Make up your mind dude.