Clever insults

[CurtSibling]

Ribbentropp was disliked by his colleagues for having assumed the "Von" in his name by having persuaded an honoured relative to adopt him. He also put on pretentious manners. For this, he was nicknamed "Von RibbenSnob"

German WW2 top brass had a secret name for Hitler too!

Adolf used to fly into rages, rip down curtains and roll on the floor.

For these antics, the generals gave him the name: Carpet Biter!

 

[nonconformist]

Goebbels was referred to as "The Poisoned Dwarf".

 

[FriendlyFire]

German WW2 top brass had a secret name for Hitler too!

Adolf used to fly into rages, rip down curtains and roll on the floor.

For these antics, the generals gave him the name: Carpet Biter!

That is seriously distrubing since Carpet Biter is very similar to .... (Well I dont wanna be banned)

 

[Iggy]

I forget where I heard this, however it was describing an attractive blonde: "She has a soul without malice with a head uncluttered with brains."

 

[Bozo Erectus]

That is seriously distrubing since Carpet Biter is very similar to .... (Well I dont wanna be banned)

Took me a minute, but I got it. Good one

 

[philippe]

they should throw your mother in jail becuase you are born! (smart isn't it?)

 

[Vanadorn]

"I have an idea" or "I just had a thought"
Well get it out before it dies of loneliness.

Wow, you're just like a real man. Only with a smaller ****.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just pretending you're not here.

I'm sorry were you saying something? I was having a riveting conversation with the wall.

Good job. I guess we'll keep you around another week.

Good job. I'll go buy you a nice bag of ants.

Every one of them used by me. Often, daily, with many more that I can't remeber but I'm sure that friends, family, co-workers, and employees could remind me about if I cared to asked them.

Captain Sarcasm strikes again.

My 2 cents

 

[Suppersalmon]

He'd make a lovely corpse - (Martin Chuzzlewit, Chapter 25)

I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words together. - Charles Dickens

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. - Groucho Marx

'If you are first you are first. If you are second you are nothing.' - Bill Shankly

 

[LLXerxes]

Pardon my English but,

Shut up! If I wanted to hear from an ass, I'd fart!
I wish I could this from your point of view, but, I can't stick my head that far up my ass!
Your living proof that man-kind can live without a brain.
I know, they stink.

 

[Iggy]

I know, they stink.

Well you should stop farting then!

 

[Yaniv]

"You can TALK?!?!"

"Don't feel so bad, not all living creatures have brains"

 

[Lord Draegon]

Wow, your a medical mirracle, the world's first livind brain donor.

 

[MikeH]

Seen on another message board - 'You clearly don't have the common sense that God gave to a small bar of soap.'

British Labour politican Denis Healy to his Conservative opposite number, Sir Geoffrey Howe - 'Being attacked by him is rather like being savaged by a dead sheep.'

 

[Lord Draegon]

These not by me:

Are you aware that you're a pathetic freak? Or are you just completely oblivious to reality.

Yo momma's so old, she watches PBS.

I refuse to enter into a battle of wits with you - its against my moral code to attack an unarmed person.

You've got the brain of a four year old boy; and I bet he was glad to get rid of it

If you're going say something that stupid you could at least fake a stroke.

Yo momma's so ugly she made an onion cry.

You're proof that every good gene pool has a shallow end.

If clues were shoes, you'd go barefoot.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a rainbow and skittles came out.

Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?

Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.

I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

Had you, perchance, been the owner of a viable braincell, you might have aspired to something other than felching the bottom of the food chain.

The closest you'll ever come to a brain storm is a light drizzle.

Your incompetence is an inspiration to idiots everywhere.

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Don't let your mind wander; it's far too small to be let out on its own.

I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

 

[nonconformist]

Your train of thought has derailed.

 

[MikeH]

A couple I once saw, supposedly taken from career appraisals of Royal Navy officers

'This young lady suffers from delusions of adequacy'

'His men would follow him anywhere, mainly out of curiosity.'

 

[YNCS]

Said of another Royal Naval officer:

"His presence here is depriving some village of an idiot."

One of the best insults I've ever come across was a comment about Detroit, Michigan:

"Detroit is Cleveland without the glitter." (Note to Britons: This would be like describing Bolton as Wolverhampton without the glitter.)

 

[useless]

its mrrats!!!

 

[LLXerxes]

its mrrats!!!

Dude? What's up with you and MrRats?

 

[MrRats]

Hmm....
I am getting popular!!!