CONES - The Hero (or Villian) Within Us All

[conehead234]

Send orders people, I am going to do the first update tonight. The price list will be up with the update, so if you over or under spend in the update, I will adjust your orders.

 

[Kozmos]

Wohoo!Its like I`m playing Evil Genius again

 

[alex994]

conehead says he probably won't finish update today! GET HIM!!!!

 

[conehead234]

I've done approx half the update, but it is getting late here and I am tired. I will finish tomorrow, it will give the orderless people time to send orders and Panda to give me the map. *glares at Panda*.

 

[Kozmos]

PANDA you have failed for ze last time.*gunshots*

 

[Insane_Panda]

I WILL GET IT SOON ENOUGH I HAVE BEEN GONE FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS.

KLELEEKEEKKEEKEKEKEKKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEEEKEKEKKEKEKEKEKEKEEJKKEKEKEKEEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE!

whew.

 

[Kozmos]

You had like a month to do it

 

[Contempt]

Waiting patiently...

 

[Insane_Panda]

*burns computer*

hahahahahahahaha now Ill take another month!!

 

[Insane_Panda]

Conehead, as it might take me awhile, i suggest you just use a cold war map showing world alliances, as you really wont be needing a world map. I will do one, but in the time being I can find you a good cold war map.

 

[conehead234]

Update 1: The Heroes Come out of the Closet 1950-1951

The Yearly Globe
The only once a year newspaper

Crime drops in Istanbul
Someone or something is causing a drop in crime. Witnesses report a strange man with an axe and in black armor butchering criminals to pieces. Appearances of small animals such as birds and squirrels have been reported in many of these incidents. Police investigating the scenes of these massacres say that many of the victims had their eyes gauged out, supposedly by birds. There are few survivors of these attacks, but the lucky ones, if you call them that, are just traumatized for life. The fear of this fate has discouraged many people from committing crimes for they fear this horrible fate. Meanwhile, the man that is doing these acts is having a field day, as the loot and weapons he has taken from the criminals has boosted his organization and even brought more supporters. Faaris may have to resharpen his axe soon. (Faaris +2500 WC, +15 pistols, +5 shotguns, +5 rifles, +5 pounds of explosives, +25 henchmen, +1 dull axe, -300 WC for expenses).

New Crusade Association
Colin Bellefonito, a Catholic Priest in Rome is rumored to have begun an organization, called the New Crusade Association or the NCA. Not much is know about it as it is secret (and the player didn’t tell the mod much about it). But it is rumored that some bishops and cardinals in Italy, including one close to the pope has joined this group. These are all rumors as these figures deny belonging to or knowing about this group. Meanwhile Lord Bellerofon, is gaining more money and henchmen as radical Catholics join the groups, and priests and bishops steal from the collection boxes, all in the name of helping the poor of course.(Lord Bellerofon +2000 WC, +20 henchmen).

Kal’thzar Scores Big in Vegas
A man from Baghdad took a journey half way around the world on a mission, a mission to win big at poker. So of course he went to San Francisco where he could not find any casinos, and gambling was illegal. (Kal’thzar actually told me to go to San Francisco). Kal’thzar was informed by the great Conehead in the sky that he needed to go to Las Vegas. So he bet his entire fortune on Poker, read the mind of his opponent, and won big. 10000 WC, before taxes of course. After a night of partying and after taxes, he returned to Baghdad with a cool 5000 WC along with a couple of new friends. (Kal’thzar +5000 WC, +10 Henchmen).

Violence in China
The Mongolian Embassy in Beijing has been attacked by armed Chinese Nationalists, valuables and official papers are reported missing. All the attackers escaped without injury, except one who ran into the Mongolian flag pole and broke his nose. It seems Mongolian soldiers have responded to this event and a few burned a village in Manchuria. The Chinese government is demanding Mongolia pay for the damages or there will be consequences. Meanwhile a radical organization of Chinese nationalists is gaining strength as volunteers flock to this group. After a valiant struggle, the Black Dragon was finally able to get a high power machinegun down the narrow stairs into his basement. (Black Dragon +40 henchmen, +1500 WC, +50 knives, -900 Expenses).

The other Chinese hero doesn’t do anything interesting just some secret stuff he wouldn’t want people to know. He also sneezed in front of a bank teller and the entire bank passed out, he made away with some loot. He also gets some more henchmen (Professor Thrax +50 henchmen, +1000 WC, -1000 WC expenses).

Flame Thrower in Vancouver
More of the usual crime fighting, except this time, the criminals have bad burns. (Chef Brian +1500 WC, + 20 henchmen).

Senator McCarthy Brands Emperor Norton a Communist
Where as many people laughed when Emperor Norton, some hobo from San Francisco, ordered the disbandment of the Senate, Senator McCarthy has branded Norton ‘a communist and an enemy of the United States’. The Senator has demanded that Norton appear before Congress to be questioned after a failed attempt to nab him. Holy hobo batman, as Emperor Norton has gained an entire squadron of homeless people with the offer of food and healing rat bites and other minor injuries magically. (+1000 WC, +50 henchmen, +some shiny rifles).

Paris targeted by a Nuclear Winter
Nuclear winter goes on a field day to Paris, and makes off with some loot and some good wine. The French aren’t too happy about the destroyed Statue of Liberty on the Seine. (+2000 WC, +15 pounds of explosives, +20 henchmen, -400 WC expenses).


Ganondorf does some bad stuff
Slowly Ganondorf crept up upon his unsuspecting target, he sprung from his bush and gave the toddler a wedgie that he would never forget. This was the first step on Ganondorf’s campaign of ‘do some bad stuff’ (lol send better orders next time azale). In his next move, Ganondorf stole some candy from a baby and then beat up a kid for some lunch money. O boy, was he feeling bad now. Eventually he got around to some more serious stuff and got some loot out of it. (+1000 WC, +20 henchmen, + 1 cavity from the candy he stole from a baby).

Panzerman, Blackheart, and Dr. Wahnsinn
They sent orders in too late, and the mod was too lazy to write about them because they did nothing interesting. Besides buy stuff, they got some more henchmen.

War in Korea
North Korea has invaded South Korea, prompting response from the United Nations. The UN sent a force to fight back, led by Captain America. Basically the same as real life. Captain America leads the allies, while Wanton Doom leads the communists.

Random Events:
Faaris: Superhero level up
Norton: More people flock to Discordianism, as hobos from as far away as Kansas City hear about the religion and view it as a hope to solve their troubles.
Sheffield Steel: A man claiming to be a former German scientist has approached SS and offered help on finishing the armor.

OOC: This update was of really bad quality, it will be better next time. I tried to put everyone in the update, but for now on, if you don’t do anything interesting, I will not write about you. I rushed at the end because of the harassment of certain people and a fear that my own life was at risk. stats, map and price list will be up tomorrow. Post any complaints.

 

[conehead234]

Map to go here.

 

[das]

Lurker's comment: Nice update, it would seem that China will break away from the Soviet fold earlier here. But...

Statue of Liberty on the Seine

How did THAT get here?

 

[alex994]

I loved the part about Ganondorf, hilarious azale is

 

[JosefStalinator]

San Francisco Chronicle
Emperor Norton's correspondence with the leaders of the nation made public!

The eccentric homeless man, who claims to have been granted "powers by the merciful and powerful Eris", and who has claimed himself successor to the famous and revered Norton I of San Francisco, has sent the following letters to the leaders of our nation on the recent unrest he has been singlehandedly been causing within our borders.

To "Senator" McCarthy
From His Imperial Majesty, Emperor Norton II
The insult upon his Imperial Majesty, first by an attempted coup and attempt on my life under which you have no authority, and then by the demand that I appear before a congress which no longer holds any authority, and has been illegitimately running for nearly 100 years, is far too great for even the normally merciful emperor to withstand. I hereby order that you apologize for the crimes you have committed against his majesty now or face the full fury of a trial by his majesty's full tribunal.

To the President of the United States
From His Imperial Majesty Norton II
I notice that there is this rebellious body, one which calls itself "Congress", that by my royal decree refuses to disband and continues to make accusations against me, worst of all calling me a communist. I hereby order you to mobolize the armed forces of America, those not busy fighting for the glory of our nation in Korea, to disband the congress once and for all, and arrest "Senator" McCarthy unless he accepts my demand and apologizes for his insult of his imperial majesty. I thank you and commend you for your work so far in fighting for the glory of our empire.

Norton II sends out the call to everyone everywhere, to stand up in arms and disband the congress; continues by voicing his support for the war against the communist forces of North Korea

"Citizens of my great empire, I send out this call to you. The corrupt and illegitimate body which calls itself our congress, which has functioned for nearly 100 years against the royal decree of our beloved first emperor Norton I, has now sought the destruction of his majesty, a crime which constitutes treason. These treasonous men ues propaganda, deeming me a communist (a term which I myself abhor) and use their array of lobbyists and bribed lackeys to demean my name and downplay the importance of my position as your emperor. I myself will lead you my followers, to destroy the traitors once and for all. Know that not all are corrupt, but most notable the "senator" McCarthy leads the coup against his emperor, it is he and his allies who we must defeat if we are to be victorious. I call on you, as our great armed forces is off fighting the even more dastardly communist North Koreans and their soviet puppetmasters in the far east. Come now my subjects, come to me, and together we will overthrow and purge our government of the corruption in the congress and give the emperor and the president the true powers he needs to defeat the communists and edxpand the grand American empire!"

Norton II has been rumored to be gathering his "followers", many of who follow the religion or "Discordianism", and are primarely homeless or poor folk who claim to be miraculously healed by his powers, as he marches eastward stopping in every city along the way gathering throngs of followres, with the eventual goal of, what can we assume, is washington DC...

 

[Contempt]

w00t! Level up!

 

[JosefStalinator]

WANTED!

The traitor John McCarthy, for crimes against his imperial majesty.

A reward of 4000 WC is offered for his capture, alive, to Emperor Norton II.​

OOC: ITS WRONG ON PURPOSE, STOP TELLING ME!

 

[Storm Rider]

So I'm boring now, eh?

Oh, my actions will be very interesting soon. Oh yes.

 

[Grandmaster]

Installment Two: The Streets of Sheffield

Sheffield wasn't quite what John Cutter remembered it to be. Getting off the train at Sheffield Station, Cutter looked about him for the comforting, familiar signs of his home town; but they were not to be seen. Instead, he saw a city in decline; the streets were dirty, homeless dressed in rags lined the sidewalks, the air was heavy with industrial smoke, and yet factories lay dead and dorment. This was not the vibrant city he had grown up in.

Cutter made his way back to his old family home. He had a simple plan: he'd walk right in the front door, walk to the ice box, grab a beer, and give his mum a hug. He couldn't imagine a happier moment.

Ten minutes' walk brought him to the old brown-brick home he had lived in as a boy. Trying the doorknob, he found the door locked. Undeterred, he knocked, knowing his mum or dad would open the door and be overcome with joy.

Cutter waited. And waited.

The door did not open. No lights were on inside the house.

Cutter decided to take a different approach; he would find his old schoolmate Oliver who lived nearby, and ascertain the whereabouts of his parents.

A few minutes' walk brought Cutter to Oliver's door. A knock on the soot-dirtied door caused it to be opened; the following moment was one of the warm reconnection between old friends. Oliver hadn't seen John in years. He invited Cutter inside, offered him a drink, and they caught up on old times.

They discussed the war, what they had been doing, old times in school; then Cutter asked the question he had come for.

"Oliver, mate, d'you know where my parents are at the moment?"

Oliver looked at Cutter sadly, but did not speak. Cutter, tired and not in the mood for solemn silences, asked again.

"I said, mate, do you know where my family is?"

"John, I hate to have to say this. Your parents are dead. Almost a year now. They were killed by a homeless fellow; he tried to mug 'em, demanded their money and your mum's jewelry. Your dad, bless his soul, tried to protect her; he stabbed 'em both to death, then run off. The police got 'im, but I don't suppose that's much comfort. I'm sorry, mate."

Cutter just sat in stunned silence for a moment. He couldn't believe it. His parents...dead.

Overcome, the usually-stoic ex-Commando got up and ambled aimlessly out of the house and onto the street, ignoring the shouts of his friend. Cutter began to walk towards his old home; a home he now realized was no longer his. Truly, he no longer had a home; he owned no house, had no family, had left his city, and was dead to his country.

Then he saw it. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the shadow in the alleyway. He heard a muffled cry of distress. The grey-shaded shapes of men who walked down the street in the descending darkness, hidden in their overcoats from the rest of the world, paid no heed to the soft cry from the alley. He wasn't sure why, but Cutter did listen to that cry. He walked, first without clear purpose, then more quickly and resolutely, toward the source of the voice. A dark alley, between two dirty old brick buildings.

A woman, not a wealthy one, a working-class woman like his mother had been. Somewhat younger, how he remembered her from his childhood. A man, clothed in rags, an unkempt beard on his face. A knife in his hand. The realization dawned on the stunned Cutter, belatedly: she was being mugged.

"You there! Stop!" he called out to the dark, unkempt figure in the alley. "Let her go!"

The man turned, surprised, and suddenly afraid began to lift the knife to her throat.

Cutter didn't know what he was doing. In a sudden burst of fury and power, he charged towards the man, and, remembering his Rugby days, squared his shoulder to the man's chest. The impact resounded in the narrow alley like a cannon shot; the man was thrown off his feet, into the blackened brick of the alley wall. Cutter grabbed the man by his throat, held him up in the air, ready to end his life with one swift and effortless move.

And then he stopped. He dropped the man to the ground, unconscience. He could not kill this man, however much he might want to.

"You'd better head along, ma'am," he said to the shocked woman. "He won't bother you any more."

The woman ran as fast as she could, unsure of who to be more afraid of: the homeless man who tried to rob her, or the madman in the iron shirt who nearly broke the blighter's neck with a Rugby tackle. In any case, she ran home, safe from harm.

The ragged man lay in a crumpled heep on the alley floor, breathing shallow breaths, his fac bloodied. Cutter ran out onto the street and summoned a policeman, who had the derelict taken into custody. Before anyone could ask Cutter's name or what had happened, he had run off.

Oliver, hearing the knocking at his door, answered it. Standing in the doorway was John Cutter, a strange look of resolve on his face.

"Oliver, do you think I could stay here for a bit?" he asked.

"Uh, sure, John, of course. I'll get a spare bed set up in the basement. You can stay here as long as you like."

That night, as Cutter lay down in an English bed for the first time in four years, images of the alleyway played over and over in his mind. And his mind kept coming back to a single image, the tiny writing on the blade of the poor man's knife:

"Sheffield Steel"



OOC: And btw, I don't have stats on the front page.

 

[Tyrion]

OOC: I take it we can take sides in wars? I might send you some secret diplo in a PM and a question about the secret stuff ad how well its going...
Also the stats cant be done because im not there *sob* Nice update, soon even more bad things will happen mwahaha *cough* *henchmen fall over*