I've been in a couple relationships with Turkish guys who did not speak English and I speak Turkish at about an intermediate level so that made things frustrating sometimes. Of course it's pretty different being in a relationship with someone who doesn't speak your native language but who you still have a language in common with that you are fluent in. Would you consider dating someone who you didn't have a language in common with and I mean beyond just a hook up or something very casual.
Dating someone who doesn't speak your language
- Thread starter NovaKart
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BvBPL
Pour Decision Maker
I had a friend who dated a deaf woman for a while, which I guess is not dissimilar from your situation.
As an English speaker, I’m not sure how well that would work for me. So much of relationship may be based around humor, and humor in English, wordplay particularly, can be quite than other languages.
Then again, that’s about relationships. Casual dating might be a different story.
As an English speaker, I’m not sure how well that would work for me. So much of relationship may be based around humor, and humor in English, wordplay particularly, can be quite than other languages.
Then again, that’s about relationships. Casual dating might be a different story.
Cheetah
Deity
If such a relationship has already been established, then body language and pidgin languages can communicate a lot, and it can definitely communicate most of what is actually important in a relationship. Assuming one of the parties would be willing to learn a common language within a reasonable time, there really isn't much of a problem.
Of course, it gets harder when one has to communicate legal and economical matters which are important for the relationship, and probably for at least one of the people in the relationship, as at least one of the parties then doesn't know enough of the language where they reside.
Still, there isn't any reason why I wouldn't want to try and make it work. A temporary language barrier isn't anything to end a good relationship over.
Of course, it gets harder when one has to communicate legal and economical matters which are important for the relationship, and probably for at least one of the people in the relationship, as at least one of the parties then doesn't know enough of the language where they reside.
Still, there isn't any reason why I wouldn't want to try and make it work. A temporary language barrier isn't anything to end a good relationship over.
Borachio
Way past lunacy
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- Jan 31, 2012
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I'd consider having a relationship with anyone, provided I wasn't already in a committed monogamous one.
Though my preference is decidedly for the female gender.
What's language got to do with it? I've yet to meet anyone who speaks mine.
Though my preference is decidedly for the female gender.
What's language got to do with it? I've yet to meet anyone who speaks mine.
I'm in a foreign country, and this city has a high amount of foreign students, which you get to know, just because you're all foreigners (just easier than mixing with the natives).
I normally don't speak my native language during daily life, and I don't expect to speak it in a relationship.
I know...er...3 European guys who have a Chinese girlfriend, a German guy together with a Portugese girl, and a middle eastern guy with a Japanese girlfriend. I hope that I'll not have to go that far, because with that distance I think it's really getting complicated. I've dated 2 girls from different countries til now (one different continent), I hope to have a date with a girl from Cyprus on Saturday. And other possible "love interests" right now are from Greece and Turkey.
...mmhh...I had to think, but I actually know some German speaking girls around, but they're either out of reach or not interested.
But honestly: I'm comfortable doing this in English, I don't need a relationship with a German speaker. It's all so international here, it would even be boring ^^.
But I'd fear the end of either my PhD or her whatever-profession here :/. Because then...there to go?
I normally don't speak my native language during daily life, and I don't expect to speak it in a relationship.
I know...er...3 European guys who have a Chinese girlfriend, a German guy together with a Portugese girl, and a middle eastern guy with a Japanese girlfriend. I hope that I'll not have to go that far, because with that distance I think it's really getting complicated. I've dated 2 girls from different countries til now (one different continent), I hope to have a date with a girl from Cyprus on Saturday. And other possible "love interests" right now are from Greece and Turkey.
...mmhh...I had to think, but I actually know some German speaking girls around, but they're either out of reach or not interested.
But honestly: I'm comfortable doing this in English, I don't need a relationship with a German speaker. It's all so international here, it would even be boring ^^.
But I'd fear the end of either my PhD or her whatever-profession here :/. Because then...there to go?
MilesGregarius
Half-baked Renegade
Some of the best times I've had have been with dictionary in hand, trying to decipher what my girl just said or figuring out how to translate what I want to say.
Making a sincere effort to learn a (potential) partner's language also makes a big impression on them - at least if you're trying to learn a less commonly spoken or less "prestigious" language. Being a native English speaker, I score points just by learning to say "hello."
It's also one of the best ways to learn a second or third language. Only hanging out with the kids and the old ladies in the kitchen beats it, in my experience.
Making a sincere effort to learn a (potential) partner's language also makes a big impression on them - at least if you're trying to learn a less commonly spoken or less "prestigious" language. Being a native English speaker, I score points just by learning to say "hello."
It's also one of the best ways to learn a second or third language. Only hanging out with the kids and the old ladies in the kitchen beats it, in my experience.
cybrxkhan
Asian Xwedodah
I assume a lack of language barrier means we are unable to, or have extreme difficulty, communicating in any language. I suppose it would be possible. Difficult, unlikely, but possible.
I think ideally if I'd want a genuine relationship - regardless of whether it is romance or not - in such a situation it'd be much easier if we have had shared some experiences somehow. For instance, maybe we went through a difficult situation together that didn't necessarily require language (for instance we are both refugees running away from the same thingr, or had to end up helping each other during a natural disaster, or something) (it is for this same reason that, so I've heard, soldiers who fought in the same war might bond together even if they were are are enemies, as they might share experiences non-soldiers wouldn't understand), or some other situation such as one of us being a foreign exchange student and the other being part of the host family, or we somehow end up trapped in the middle of nowhere. Situations like that that force us to get to know each other.
As someone mentioned above, in such a situation, body language and pidgin language is important. It'd also be important for us to not misterpret anything due to cultural differences, as in this situation miscommunication might arise even more easily due to, well, lack of a common language.
In some ways, though it's not too much different from having a relationship - again, regardless of whether it is romance or not - with someone who is usually quiet. In high school I was friends with this one Korean guy who was extremely quiet and said little, yet we had some sort of respect for each other, and I thought he was a pleasant fellow. Our good rapport was built on deeds and patience, not words.
Anyhow, I vaguely recall one foreign movie (Finnish or Scandinavian or something) that depicted a love triangle between three people who spoke different languages and were stuck with each other in the wilderness.
How eloquent, comic, tragic, dramatic, and thought-provoking, all in one.
I think ideally if I'd want a genuine relationship - regardless of whether it is romance or not - in such a situation it'd be much easier if we have had shared some experiences somehow. For instance, maybe we went through a difficult situation together that didn't necessarily require language (for instance we are both refugees running away from the same thingr, or had to end up helping each other during a natural disaster, or something) (it is for this same reason that, so I've heard, soldiers who fought in the same war might bond together even if they were are are enemies, as they might share experiences non-soldiers wouldn't understand), or some other situation such as one of us being a foreign exchange student and the other being part of the host family, or we somehow end up trapped in the middle of nowhere. Situations like that that force us to get to know each other.
As someone mentioned above, in such a situation, body language and pidgin language is important. It'd also be important for us to not misterpret anything due to cultural differences, as in this situation miscommunication might arise even more easily due to, well, lack of a common language.
In some ways, though it's not too much different from having a relationship - again, regardless of whether it is romance or not - with someone who is usually quiet. In high school I was friends with this one Korean guy who was extremely quiet and said little, yet we had some sort of respect for each other, and I thought he was a pleasant fellow. Our good rapport was built on deeds and patience, not words.
Anyhow, I vaguely recall one foreign movie (Finnish or Scandinavian or something) that depicted a love triangle between three people who spoke different languages and were stuck with each other in the wilderness.
How eloquent, comic, tragic, dramatic, and thought-provoking, all in one.
SaturnGreed
Chieftain
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2014
- Messages
- 1
I wouldnt. tried it before and it failed. not only is the language barrier a strain, the difference in culture gets in the way aswell. you can do a practice at dating sites that has plenty of foreign users such as http://www.freedatinghelper.com/reviews/international-cupid/. If you dont like it, then it wouldnt work out.
Borachio
Way past lunacy
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- Jan 31, 2012
- Messages
- 26,698
Why, thank you very much, very kind sir! I try my best. Usually.
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Welcome to CFC, Mr Greed.
cybrxkhan
Asian Xwedodah
Having thought about it more, I suppose there could be one thing that might help us communicate a little bit even with a language barrier: music.
Corny and silly romantic as it might be, if both of us are competent in performing or at least listening/analyzing/understanding at the same sort of music (I am thinking of classical western music right now, but really any genre will do), we might be able to at the least entertain each other with music. Yes, we might not be able to exactly communicate how we feel about the music, but if she's competently experienced with Beethoven or whatever, I think it can be a nice start.
You are most welcome. Your words are usually fascinating.
Corny and silly romantic as it might be, if both of us are competent in performing or at least listening/analyzing/understanding at the same sort of music (I am thinking of classical western music right now, but really any genre will do), we might be able to at the least entertain each other with music. Yes, we might not be able to exactly communicate how we feel about the music, but if she's competently experienced with Beethoven or whatever, I think it can be a nice start.
You are most welcome. Your words are usually fascinating.
Wait, you're gay? Is Turkey really a very accepting environment for LGBT rights?
It's probably the best place for gays in the Middle East after Israel but its not really that accepting. We didn't tell most people we were in a relationship.
classical_hero
In whom I trust
Most people don';t understand Australian, so I so very lonely.
@Mouthwash, you can be gay in the ME, you just don't be the kind of "we're here, we're queer, you better get used to it", type of homosexual.
@Mouthwash, you can be gay in the ME, you just don't be the kind of "we're here, we're queer, you better get used to it", type of homosexual.
You can be gay in the Middle East but most often you end up a deeply unhappy person because you were pressured into marrying a woman and you sneak around having sex with men. You can never tell your family you're gay and you're really afraid people will find out.
There are gay pride parades in Istanbul however.
There are gay pride parades in Istanbul however.
