Diary of a New(b) God

Dear Diary,

The great city of Thebes is visited by Lord Ramkhamhaeng, who says he is honored by our visit. He’s confused about who’s visiting who here, but he rightly honors me so I let the insult pass. Poor Gandhi is having a hard time making friend and seeks the cooperation of our great empire. We grant it to him, and likewise to Ramkhamhaeng, whom we are soon share open borders with as well. We are soon visited by Harun al-Rashid of Arabia, who also seems confused as to which of us is the host. This trend of people mistaking my palace for their own disturbs me.
Spoiler :
T33NewFriends.png


Napoleon seeks war with Songhai, and although I’ve agreed to cooperate with him, I’ve no interest in declaring war against those friendly to me, unless of course they’re in my war or have something I really want. My scouts meet Dublin. The Dubliners claim to be a militaristic neutral people. It seems everyone we meet now is greatly confused.

There is great excitement in the empire as my people learn how to put animals in pens. Our workers are now trained and after dealing with the poo rag piles, begin penning up some sheep. So help me if I catch anyone just standing around staring at them, they will suffer my wrath. They’re eager to learn to ride horses, but I think they’re not ready. Let’s take it slow and learn to ride in horse drawn carts first.
Spoiler :
T33AnimalHusbandry.png


I order the training of a new legion of pointy-stick boys, but the Thebians protest that finding pointy-sticks in an abandoned city doesn’t mean they know how to make them. See the hugge monument in the center of Thebes? Long narrow pole with a pointy tip? Same idea, smaller scale. The union leader won’t budge. His boys ain’t working on nothing without the proper training. Frustrated, I order the training of a group of settlers to found a new city.

Overall, all is well in my empire, despite the hiccup with the labor boss, and my people are ready for my next great commandment.

COMMANDMENT 2: My Empire shall expand and all my people shall be at liberty to pay tribute to me in whatever city they wish.
Spoiler :
T35Liberty.png


The settlers in training are so pleased by this news that they speed up their preparations. My empire is about to grow, my people are happy, and although they once were happier they’ve stopped complaining now our new workers have dealt with the diapers, and everyone still agreed that I am pretty great.

-Ramesses
 
Dear Diary,

We’ve now met Suleiman of the Ottomans, Darius of Persia, and the city state of Sidon. Darius is friendly and we soon share open borders with him. Suddenly Woozy tries to turn us against our friends in Siam. How dare she? She is lucky my pointy stick ambassadors still haven’t managed to locate her cities!
Spoiler :
T36Neighbors.png

We learn that Montezuma has built a strange pyramid, while a great lighthouse, an oracle and some hinges of stone are built in faraway lands.

Thebes demands silver. Naturally I’m hurt that my children don’t even take the time to ask me for silver before making demands. I suspect the union boss is behind this. I will get them their silver, but they had better use it to make some tributes to me!
Spoiler :
T40ThebesDemandsSilver.png


My chosen people are happy, and will be even happier once they have silver, and everyone agrees that I am pretty great.

-Ramesses
 
Dear Diary,

The settlers are ready to depart, and I send them with my blessings to found a new city near the silver deposits. Thebes begins training another scout to search for more new luxuries. Work begins on a plantation to bring cotton into our great empire.

My people finish studying the wheel and can now make horse draw chariots. They want to continue learning about horses, but I point out they will need to learn mining before they can get to the silver. In the end, they choose silver. They have chosen paying tributes to me over their desires to ride horses. I am proud of them and honored by their love.

We learn that someone had built a gallows garden. There are some disturbed people in this world. Siam enters the classical era and we are angered to hear our friend Darius forms a research agreement with China.

The pointy-stick boys catch up to Woozy and her scouts. “A pleasure speaking with you,” lies Woozy. “Be diplomatic!” I remind them. The pointy sticks can barely manage to get out, “Would. You. Like. A. Pact. Of. Co. Op. Er. A. Tion. ?” “That is not in our best interest,” Woozy replies. “It is in your best interest to give us a horse!” demand the pointy stick ambassadors. At first Woozy doesn’t think we can back those threats up, but soon cries that a maelstrom of death will envelop us both as the pointy-sticsk start cutting up her scouts.
Spoiler :
T45ChineseDiplomacy.png


My people are happy and eager to prove themselves in glorious battle, and everyone agreed that I am pretty great, especially the pointy stick boys who finally got to cut someone.

-Ramesses

Spoiler Military Record :
T47Victories.png
 
Dear Diary,

Our second great city is founded! We name it Memphis. It’s located on an isthmus that will give us access to the ocean and the great lake. Naturally their first task is to build a monument to me.

Barbara is having a party but didn’t invite us. I’ve just about had it with that chick.
Spoiler :
T47TwoCities.png

We hear that someone builts a giant metal man standing over their shoreline. Thats probably going to scare the fish away.

The pointy stick boys rest in the woods and our scouts spot some more Chinese targets.

Thebes celebrates the acquisition of cotton! My people are happy that they don’t have to wear wool all year round anymore, our second great city is founded, and everyone agrees that I am pretty great, except for Barbara won’t still won’t talk to me or invite me to hear parties.

-Ramesses
 
You are pretty great - good job with scouting the land, in my games sooner or later scouts are leaving me to attend Barbara's party and I never see them again ^^
 
Dear Diary,

We meet Vienna, who’s under the protection of Siam. Meet Vienna, yeah-eyeah!
Spoiler :
T48Vienna.png

Our scouts face off with some Chinese scouts. The wounded Chinese flee before we can finish them off, screaming as they go that China has entered the medieval era. Our scouts tend to their wounds in the woods.

We learn that another wandering list maker approaches, and warmly welcome him in our court, eager for news of how we compare to other nations. His name is Goethe and he bears a list of people with the pointiest sticks. This s exciting, as we’ve possessed pointy sticks for over 1800 years, we will surely be at the top of the list. Yet Geothe proclaims we have the least pointy sticks! I order Goethe seized and dragged off to the dungeon where the pointiness of our sticks will be demonstrated, very, very slowly.
Spoiler :
T50PointySticks.png

Our scientists finish mining, and I order them to start on bronze working. We’ve got to satisfy the stinking union boss and start making more pointy sticks as soon as possible.
Spoiler :
T50Mining.png

Thebes grows, which again makes them sad, but overall my people are still happy and everyone agrees that I am pretty great, even Goethe who mistakenly thinks a little belated flattery might spare him from a slow and pointy fate.

-Ramesses
 
Oh dear, such a great story, what a shame that soon it might abruptly end... :/

I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you Your Greatness :king:
 
Dear Diary,

Lord Ramkhamhaeng wants war with India. We refuse to join him, but he declares war against Gandhi anyway. Word goes round that the Dubliners want to eliminate a city state called Tyre. We’ve never even heard of the Tyred people and choose not to get involved. We hear that Suleiman has entered the medieval era.
Spoiler :
T51DublinhatesTyre.png


We meet Oda Nobunaga of Japan who is humble in my presence, which pleases me. We then meet Lord Nebuchandnezzar of Babylon who calls me an idiot, which does not please me. I tell him to keep his distance, and he wisely agrees, preventing further conflict.
Spoiler :
T52Neighbors.png

Suddenly the pointy stick boys are ambushed by Barbarians without warning! They retreat to a hilltop to tend their wounded and I demand Barbara explain herself, but she is still unwilling to meet with me. Not even Woozy refuses to show herself. I declare that all Barbara’s forces will be slaughtered on sight until she presents herself to my court with an apology. The people of Memphis eagerly begin throwing rocks at the partygoers who have carrying on at all hours of the night.

Woozy seems to think that killing one of her scouts and driving off another means the Egyptians will pay through the nose for peace. We have far more endurance than that! If only we could find her cities…
Spoiler :
T52UnreasonabledemandsfromChina.png


My scouts complete their trip around the great lake. Control of this lake will carry with it great power, and the canal at Memphis gives us control of who may cross between the lake and the sea. We are the lockmasters and my people are happy, and everyone agrees that I am pretty great.

-Ramesses
 
1,840 bc - 1,760 bc
Dear Diary,

Several leaders invite us to form secrecy agreements, but I cannot we bothered with their petty disputes. We learn that Rome has entered the medieval era.

Now Nebby wants to cooperate. Didn’t he say that wasn’t our strong suit. Great leader now, is it? Not a chance, pal!
Spoiler :
T56NocoopwithBabylon.png


There are barbarian spears outside Thebes and a galley upon our great lake Thebes completes our first war chariot and begins training a second. The chariot is sent to drive off the barbarians, but they violate our borders and smash it!
Spoiler :
T56BarbsAroundThebes.png


Memphis continues to fling things at Barbara’s party and the Bucharettes send word that they don’t like Barbara any better than we do.
Spoiler :
T55Bucharesthatesbarbs.png


Our workers are eager to start mining silver but can’t make it safely to Memphis. I tell them to build a farm in Thebes until an escort is available. My people are happy, though none too pleased with Barbara at the moment, and everyone agrees that I am pretty great.

-Ramesses

Spoiler Military Record :
T56MilitaryRecord.png
 
Dear Diary,

We’ve learned that France and Persia have both entered the medieval era. Our own scientists have just completed bronze working, which should satisfy to the union boss and allow us to create more pointy sticks.
Spoiler :
T58BronzeWorking.png

The barbarian spears pillage our sheep pasture. I order the union boss to rush the training of new batch of warriors to drive them off. The union boss complains that rushing the training will cost many gold coins. I order the gold paid to him. The union boss asks if I’m trying to bribe him. I ask if he is trying to stand in the way of avenging the loss the loss of our first military unit. The union boss eyes me coldly. I ask him if he’s going to stand in the way of avenging the pillaging of our sheep. The union boss knows how the Thebites feel about those sheep. Our new warriors are ready quickly thereafter.

The Thebites pelt the barbarian spears with stones and arrows. Our scouts deftly slip into flanking position behind the spears and our new warriors finish them off.
Spoiler :
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Memphis kills one of the partygoers. The others don’t take much notice as the party rages on.

Our scientists begin studying sailing. The thought of riding boats upon the great lake appeals to my people so much that they seem to have forgotten about their previous obsession with riding the backs horses. The barbarians are driven from Egypt, my people are happy and are tending to the injured sheep and everyone agrees that I am pretty great.

-Ramesses

Spoiler Military Record :
T58MilitaryRecord.png
 
Dear Diary,

Askia seeks our cooperation. He has always been friendly to us so we grant it, but warn him that we have no interest in his conflict with Japan, who has just entered the medieval era. He tells us that some of Barbara’s archers have been killing warriors of both sides. The pointy stick boys are rested from their battle with the Chinese , so I send them to hunt down the barbarians. They find the archers in a forest outside Sidon, and attack, earning a promotion. The archers pick off another Songhaiden warrior before the pointy stick boys finish them off.
Spoiler :
T59PSBhuntbarbarcher.png

Nebby enters the medieval era and some of his bowman are hanging around our borders. He declares war on India and Bucharest, both of whom are friendly to us. We are not eager for a second war, but nor are we eager to abandon our allies. We contact Gandhi and discuss whether he’d like us to enter the war. He receives us warmly but he declines our help.
Spoiler :
T60Friends.png

Our scouts are attacked from the sea, behold the power of seas!

Memphis grows and this saddens them. Of course, the workers haven’t made it out there yet to clean up diapers. With the sheep pen fixed, the workers are finishing the farm. Then the warriors will escort to Memphis. My second great city is growing, my people are happy that all the sheep are back in their pens and everyone agrees that I am pretty great.

-Ramesses

Spoiler Military Record :
T61MilitaryRecord.png
 
Dear Diary,

Woozy makes us another outrageous offer for peace. This chick is as annoying as Barbara! Our scouts have located the Chinese city of Nanjing! Never let it be said I am an unreasonable god. Now that she can no longer hide from us, I decide to offer her peace on equal terms. Woozy says it’s time to put down our arms, then refuses my gracious offer and fires upon my scouts. They withdraw to a safe distance and summon the pointy stick boys.
Spoiler :
T63TheWoozyOne.png

Askia enters the medieval era and also forms a research agreement with the Woozy one. It is disappointing to see our friends aid our enemies.

Our war chariot is complete and assigned to chase Barbara’s galley from our shores. Thebes begins training more pointy stick men. A new baby is born in Thebes, and it’s expands its borders to encompass some cows. It goes without saying which one excited the Thebians more. My great city is growing, and it’s people are happy, despite their bizarre priorities and everyone agrees that I am pretty great.

-Ramesses
 
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