Diplo for MIA

[scoutsout]

or else!.....what???

Exactly. It would be easier to delay our invasion by a turn. We don't want to change our behaviour, or they'll wonder what we're up to.

 

[Admiral Kutzov]

@ gma - or else we tell them you're pregnant and demand child support payments.

 

[gmaharriet]

@ gma - or else we tell them you're pregnant and demand child support payments.

Yeah...musta been one of those ugly hoplites before our civ sobered up, huh?

 

[Admiral Kutzov]

@ harriet, hope the tests go well. I'm an a****** and don't know how to be supportive except by sick humor. good luck!

 

[gmaharriet]

don't know how to be supportive except by sick humor.

It's one of your very best qualities, AK. I never know what to do with syrupy sympathy or even flowery greeting cards. I'd prefer a chuckle any day.

 

[Whomp]

As my attorney once told me "If neither side likes the deal then you probably have a good deal". Thoughts?

Team KISS,

Thank you for replying promptly with your clarifications.
It seems we will never see eye-to-eye on the many issues that face us – but I suppose that is the nature of diplomacy.
It is our hope that we will soon look back on these negotiations with a sense of mutual admiration and recognize that both sides pushed and maneuvered just as hard against the other. Well done.

We are now prepared to accept, almost entirely, the proposal you sent us for "line #2"

Spoiler Green Line Definition (KISS line #2) :

Proposal Number Two:

Eastern Beginning Point of the 50/50 Border
Start on East Mountain tile ... then tile jump to W, W, W, to an unclaimed Spice tile located in the vicinity of Senilityville and Flaxon Musk. The east corner of this tile is the point-of-beginning.

The Eastern Border
1. From Eastern Beginning Point go NE x 3, ending at the E tip of city radius of SenilityVille which is KISS' Spice town.
2. Then go SE x 1,
3. Then go NE x 3, ending at the Eastern Coast and the southern tip of the KISS town of Nincompoopicity.

Ending point of the Eastern Border is the north corner of a jungle tile on the coast. W is a banana, SE is a fish, NE NE is a whale.

Western Beginning Point of the 50/50 Border
Start on West Mountain, the peak closest to Cyprus Creek ... then tile jump to S, S, S, W which is the Western Tile. The Western Tile is a jungle on the coast ... NW, NW is a Whale ... N is a fish.
Western Beginning Point is the N tip of the Western Tile.

The Western Border
1. From Western Beginning Point go SE x 2.
2. Then go NE x 2, ending on Effing Whomping Rower city radius.
3. Then go SE x 2, along city radius to S tip Effing Whomping Rower, also the S tip of of KISS' southern Dye.
4. Then go NE x 4, which is N tip of Chuck Norrisville city radius.
5. Then go SE x 2, along city radius.
6. Then go NE x 3, joining the Western border to the Eastern border at the E tip of the tile containing an unclaimed spice.

In addition to this drawing of the line, we propose the follow text comprise the accompanying treaty.

New KISS/MIA treaty

I. Both MIA and KISS agree to recognize the Green Line which is defined above. KISS has exclusive rights to settle the territory north of the Green Line and MIA has exclusive rights to settle south of the line.

II. Both teams agree that cities may not be founded any closer than 1 tile from the Green Line.

III. Both teams agree that every city as close as 2 tiles from the line is forbidden to have cultural buildings constructed for the duration of the peace.

IV. Each team must move any land units currently on the other's side of the Green Line back to their own side by the quickest route possible.
Neither team may then move a land unit into the other team's cultural boundaries or into any neutral tile on the other team's side without permission.

V. Naval units must be granted permission prior to ending their turn if they are closer than one tile from the other team's cultural border.

VI. This treaty will go into full effect immediately upon signing and will last until the end of turn 165. This peace between KISS and MIA guarantees that neither side will declare war on the other before the start of turn 166.

VII. This treaty can be extended at any time by the joint agreement of KISS and MIA, and it can also be terminated at any time by the joint agreement of both KISS and MIA.​

This is substantively the same as what you proposed to us in your "line #2" proposal – just with some more details fleshed out so that there is no misunderstanding.

Hopefully this is all acceptable to you. We look forward to getting your feedback or your approval, so that we can draft an official version to send for your signature.

Yours truly,
1000 Monkeys, approved by Fe3333au – Diplomacy Master and Monkey Herder .
Team MIA.

 

[Tubby Rower]

sounds good except the

V. Naval units must be granted permission prior to ending their turn if they are closer than one tile from the other team's cultural border

I don't like this and I think that it should be replaced with

V. Naval units must be granted permission prior to ending their second consecutive turn within 1 tile if they are closer than one tile from the other team's cultural border. Otherwise a Naval vessel will be allowed to continue down the coast in the same direction. Permission must be granted before a U-turn can be made.

This will allow us to navigate through their waters without continually asking for permission. but not constrict us to just our coast.

 

[Sir Bugsy]

Hey, for the time being let's just go for it. We have bigger fish to fry with TNT. Plus if we go to war, we won't be doing too many amphibious attacks. Plus when we do go to war we may have galleons and then we don't need coastal tiles.

let's sign the treaty and start the war with TNT.

 

[scoutsout]

I rather like the language here... (emphasis added)

VI. This treaty will go into full effect immediately upon signing and will last until the end of turn 165. This peace between KISS and MIA guarantees that neither side will declare war on the other before the start of turn 166.

I'm with Bugs, let's drop the hammer and do this deal so I can drop the hammer on Dinsog and TNT.

 

[Daghdha]

VI. This treaty will go into full effect immediately upon signing and will last until the end of turn 165. This peace between KISS and MIA guarantees that neither side will declare war on the other before the start of turn 166.

If that includes not joining other allies to defend them from our attack, then fine. If not we should clarify that.

 

[Tubby Rower]

Well our D'nut treaty states that we cannot sign other treaties that go against it. So it has priority and we can bring that up WHEN we need to.

We will be getting out of it honorably IMO.

 

[scoutsout]

So... have we struck a deal on this thing yet?

 

[Tubby Rower]

Don't think so.. I think that those who were involved in constructing it should contact them and tell them to send the paperwork to sign. I don't think that we any major objections to their last proposal.

Maybe by just sending a PM to Chamnix and fe stating that the 1000 monkey proposal should be sent out for official signatures.

 

[Sir Bugsy]

We need to execute this really soon folks.

 

[Daghdha]

I have sent our approval and told MIA to scroll it up and ship for signing.

 

[Rik Meleet]

lurker's comment: For my entertainment, when (if) a KISS-MIA treaty is signed, please create a picture of the borderline.

 

[Whomp]

Sorry for duplication Daghie I sent it as well. LOL!
But I added this so we can mix it in the next Crazy Eye.

Dear MIA,

We had our first vote and it ended in a tie.

It was decided when Tubby Rower and Admiral Kutzov got in a duel with poisonous darts to decide the outcome. Like an idiot Admiral Kutzov shot himself and Tubby declared the treaty approved. (more on this in the upcoming Crazy Eye)

If you have a extra case of Ouzo to throw in it would be appreciated. AK could use it.

We accept the way the "1000 Monkey Treaty" reads. If you could put it on parchement we will apply our stamp.

POTKISS Whomp of Team KISS

 

[Tubby Rower]

For my entertainment, when (if) a KISS-MIA treaty is signed, please create a picture of the borderline

Here it is based off of the last message that the 1000 monkeys typed up.

 

[scoutsout]

lurker's comment: For my entertainment, when (if) a KISS-MIA treaty is signed, please create a picture of the borderline.

I dunno Rik... I'd say most of us on this team are pretty "borderline"...

 

[Whomp]

MIA's foreign relations department has completely collapsed or they're stalling for some reason.

Hey Whomp,

On behalf of my team, let me apologize for our delay in getting back to you. The parchments are drawn up, and frankly, I’m not real sure why they haven’t been sent yet.

With Fe missing due to illness, our whole Foreign ministry has suffered greatly. He’s been more active in recent days – so hopefully he’ll send them soon. If not, I’m sure the 1000 monkeys can get it together and off to you in the next 24 hours.
We don’t want to disturb your holiday plans… we’ve heard…. er… stories about your parties.

Anyway – we’ll have the fancy papers to you soon.
Again, sorry for the delay.

General W, Monkey #672