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Does the notion of "equality" factor into your relationships?

Kyriakos

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The notion of equality (by which i do not only mean a strict sense of a=a, but a larger sense of being relative, or approximately equal) is part of the larger spectre of notions of power, and scales. Infact it is a sort of medium, if one sees it mathematically, as in essence A=A means that A is neither > or < than A. Although the other paradigms of comparisson (larger/smaller etc) are evident in nature, equality is not, since differentiation is existant in anything which can be observed as seperable from anything else (although of course again in mathematics there are notions of seperable, though equal for the purposes of the event which is being examined, parts).
In psychology the notion of power is very important. It factors in relationships, and personalities. But power itself exists only as an idea, and therefore it does not contain any specific understanding of it. Person A may be of the view that the USA is 'powerfull' and person B may agree. But what person A felt as 'powerful' was not the same as what person B felt as such. They, in essence, have agreed that the vague/obscure or at any rate not presented, feeling/thought they had experienced, meant for both of them that the object (in this case USA) was in their terms defined as 'powerful'.

However, although the notion of power itself is not the same in all people, what appears to be the same is its placement in a positive position, or to be more exact its placement in an originally positive position (since one can be very opposed to power, but would still be viewing it as something 'strong', and not as something 'weak').
Likewise, the notion of 'equality', has become important as a means of negating the power struggle. Ussually it is associated with the emotion of 'love', through which power is not longer sought in a relationship, but instead companionship, friendship and other such goals are sought. But in itself it is again one of the many facets of the dynamic understanding of the notion of power.

In my view equality is a constructed state, of course, but it still is neccessary if one is to have a mature relationship, since without it there can only continue to be a power-struggle. But there are various constructed states of equality, due to the various constructed states of unequality as well; for a nazi officer in WW2 it could have been obvious that a jewish prissonner was inferior to him. This was a constructed state of unequality, which could though be presented to the officer as something very much real. Then there is a constructed state of equality, between a narcissistic parent and a child, with the parent viewing the child as an extention of himself/herself, whereas the child of course is entirely different.
Since we all have our individual inner world, we endlessly roam inside it, and look for ways of being able to be productive and in peace with others (of course this can change as a goal if there are sufficient grounds for beliieving that it has become simply impossible, or that it was a false goal to begin with) and in the process utilise such important notions as those relative to power as well.
So how do you view your own relationships as parts of your own, particular understanding of power and comparisson with others?
And do you view equality as something connected with the feeling one could name as 'love'?

:)
 
Narz is right, equality is a delusion. Say hypothetically that two somehow 'equal' people are in a relationship. One of them says something witty or insightful. Is that person somehow suddenly superior to the other? Is there any way to make them equal again, either by humbing the one or artificially raising the other? Would that equalizing action really be 'fair'?

I think good relationships are not built on sizing each other up and constantly thinking about who is superior.
 
Nope, i'm the superior one 'round here.
 
How's does it so? I thought both sides bring some thing different into a relationship.

If everything is equal, the relationship will be pretty boring.
 
varwnos said:
Does not respect contain a part of equality?
Not sure what you mean varwnos.

varwnos said:
And if not then what would be its main driving-force?
Well, we're all superior in some ways and inferior in others. By respecting each other we create safety in relationships. Knowing that I won't be taken advantage of for my weaknesses allows me to be vulnerable and vice-versa.
 
Respect is more important and actually attainable.

I allow a state of equilibrium to occur naturally.
 
Equality is vital in a relationship. We're in a relationship by mutual consent, and thus have equal parts in the relationship.
We won't be equal in many respects: I'm stronger, she's prettier etc.
But as contributors to the relationship we're equal. I had a very silly 'relationship' with a ridiculous American girl who had always been spoiled rotten by boyfriends: everything had been paid for, they were always the one who went with her on trains and buses, but never vice versa, and so on.

I made the point many times that I had no intention of doing any of this, but she just cried and had tantrums. She didn't appreciate the hypocrisy of expecting an equal contributor to do all this for her, but not want to do it for him. Not that I wanted her to come with me everywhere anyway.

Call it respect if you like, but equality is vital in mature relationships.
 
Brighteye said:
Equality is vital in a relationship. We're in a relationship by mutual consent, and thus have equal parts in the relationship.
We won't be equal in many respects: I'm stronger, she's prettier etc.
But as contributors to the relationship we're equal.

I pretty much agree. Equality is not 50-50, it's in proportion to what you bring in the relationship. I believe that if one of the two earn more, then he/she should pay in proportion. If one of the two is stronger, then he/she should do more of the physical activities.
 
I doubt any relationship is truly "equal".
 
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