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Done as a joke?

Discussion in 'Civ4 - Rhye's and Fall of Civilization' started by The Almighty dF, Nov 24, 2007.

  1. sdLeo

    sdLeo Cosmopolitan

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    OK. (Brazilian joke)

    So you have a French, an Italian and a Portuguese guy, stuck in a desert island. They find a magic lamp and they rub it. A genie comes out of the lamp and says: "Normally I would grant 3 wishes to the person who brings me out of the lamp. But since you are 3, I'll grant you one wish each.

    So the French guy says: "I want a chateau near Paris, with lots of champagne and foie gras, and the beautiful Frrench dames".

    "Granted".

    The Italian guy says: "I want a villa in Toscana, with a Ferrari and a Maseratti, and beautiful Italian donne".

    "Granted"

    So the Portuguese guy's turn comes. He is alone on the island, just him and the genie.

    So he says: "Genie, my French friend and my Italian friend are gone, and I'm feeling kinda lonely... So I want my friends back!"
     
  2. onedreamer

    onedreamer Dragon

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    Roflmao !!!
     
  3. sdLeo

    sdLeo Cosmopolitan

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    Real event:

    US Navy vs Canada


    This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio
    conversation of a U.S. naval ship with the Canadian
    authorities off the coast of Newfoundland October
    1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of
    Naval Operations10-10-95.

    Canadians:
    Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South
    to avoid a collision.

    Americans:
    Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the
    North.

    Canadians:
    Negative. You will have to divert your course 15
    degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

    Americans:
    This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,
    divert YOUR course.

    Canadians:
    No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

    Americans:
    THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN. THE
    SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC
    FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE
    CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT
    YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY
    AGAIN,THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER
    MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF
    THIS SHIP.

    Canadians:
    We are a lighthouse, your call.
     
  4. Úmarth

    Úmarth Megalomaniac

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  5. sdLeo

    sdLeo Cosmopolitan

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    I have heard this story so many times, I always thought it was true.
    As they say, se non è vero, è ben trovato :lol:
     
  6. The Almighty dF

    The Almighty dF Pharaoh

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    "There are two things in this world I hate. People who hate other people because of their culture, and the Dutch."
    My favorite, made me giggle at least. Most Dutch jokes... I have problems getting. Especially from the English.
     
  7. onedreamer

    onedreamer Dragon

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    interesting, in Italy we have many jokes about Germans, Swiss and French, even English, but never heard one about Dutch.
     
  8. Ryry

    Ryry Chieftain

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    Hey, I'm American, and I love France.

    I had been living in Germany for 2 years, and then I went to Paris. In comparison (I was in Munich), I found people to be polite and fun. Certainly not rude at all.

    But to the game, it makes sense as a UP and is historical. France was (and is) a master of diplomacy.

    Ryry
     
  9. Ryry

    Ryry Chieftain

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    OK. We had a Brazilian joke, so here is my joke on Brazil (which would be a cool civ to play. UP: sexiness):

    Bush, Sarkozy and Lulu (Prez of Brazil) are on a plane. The plane is lost.

    Bush says: "Dont worry, I'll find out where we are!". He opens the door. Sticks his hand out and starts feeling around below. "I got it!" He declares. "We're over New York, I just felt the top of the Empire State Building!"

    Sarkozy looks skeptical and decides to stick his hand out and check. "No," he reports. "We are over Paris, I just felt the top of the Eiffel Tower."

    Now Lulu steps up. "Let me check." And he sticks his hand out. After a minute he pulls is arm back into the plane.

    "Well?" Ask Bush and Sarkozy.

    "Gentlemen, I can assure you we are over Brazil." He replys.

    "How can you be sure," they ask. "Did you feel the top of Christ the Redeemer?"

    "Not exactly." Holding up his arm he says, "someone stole my Rolex."

    Ryry

    BraSilians: Before you flame me: Love Brasil. Been there twice. Going to Rio next year.
     
  10. Lokolus

    Lokolus Retired...

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    We have the exactly the same joke on Romanians...
     
  11. sdLeo

    sdLeo Cosmopolitan

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    No worries... I actually almost posted that one myself - it's a good one :goodjob:

    (In case you're all wondering: Yes, I'm French - and North American - and Brazilian - can you handle that?)
     
  12. onedreamer

    onedreamer Dragon

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    I'm pretty sure this joke is originary from Italy and it regards people from Naples... :rolleyes:
     
  13. Ryry

    Ryry Chieftain

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    I originally heard it about Zaire under Mobutu.

    Ryry

    I just love to tell it to Brazilians. IMHO Brazilians and Americans are very similar. Example: They both LOVE to complain about their country, it's problems, how it is falling apart, the stupid president, etc..... but if a foreigner dares to agree, or worse yet add complaints, they freak out. Every Brazilian you meet will be happy to go on and on about the tragedy of Brazil (a country so wealthy, yet with so many poor) and complain about life in Brazil. Just start agreeing with them and telling jokes about Brazil and watch them convert to a nationalist.... but we Americans are exactly the same too...

    Ryry
     
  14. The Almighty dF

    The Almighty dF Pharaoh

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    A joke about Zaire?
    Usually, when I hear that nation in a joke, it's a joke involving the... well... constant coups.
    Possibly the last time The Simpsons made me laugh. Zaire's name repeatedly changing while they were flying there.

    I even had a history teacher once joke that "Map-makers for these books got tired of changing the name of a certain central African nation, so do expect to be corrected in the future. 'I hear there's a new coup going on in the Shiny Happy People's Super Democratic Federal Republic of the Constitutional Monarchy of the Congo.' 'It's called Congoland now. Mickey Mouse took over last year.'"
     
  15. Greeneyedzombie

    Greeneyedzombie King

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    The highest part is 315 meters high. We only have to share it with the germans and belgium.

    No, its about Amsterdam.

    Most jokes I heard about the dutch come from belgium, telling how greedy we are. Maybey some belgium people care to tell them.
     
  16. say1988

    say1988 Deity

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    Most the jokes I (a Canadian) hear about the Dutch refer to drugs and sex in Amsterdam.
     

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