Done as a joke?

[sdLeo]

OK. (Brazilian joke)

So you have a French, an Italian and a Portuguese guy, stuck in a desert island. They find a magic lamp and they rub it. A genie comes out of the lamp and says: "Normally I would grant 3 wishes to the person who brings me out of the lamp. But since you are 3, I'll grant you one wish each.

So the French guy says: "I want a chateau near Paris, with lots of champagne and foie gras, and the beautiful Frrench dames".

"Granted".

The Italian guy says: "I want a villa in Toscana, with a Ferrari and a Maseratti, and beautiful Italian donne".

"Granted"

So the Portuguese guy's turn comes. He is alone on the island, just him and the genie.

So he says: "Genie, my French friend and my Italian friend are gone, and I'm feeling kinda lonely... So I want my friends back!"

 

[onedreamer]

Roflmao !!!

 

[sdLeo]

Real event:

US Navy vs Canada


This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio
conversation of a U.S. naval ship with the Canadian
authorities off the coast of Newfoundland October
1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of
Naval Operations10-10-95.

Canadians:
Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South
to avoid a collision.

Americans:
Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the
North.

Canadians:
Negative. You will have to divert your course 15
degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans:
This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,
divert YOUR course.

Canadians:
No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans:
THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN. THE
SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC
FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE
CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT
YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY
AGAIN,THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER
MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF
THIS SHIP.

Canadians:
We are a lighthouse, your call.

 

[Úmarth]

Funny, but that's an urban legend.

 

[sdLeo]

Funny, but that's an urban legend.

I have heard this story so many times, I always thought it was true.
As they say, se non è vero, è ben trovato

 

[The Almighty dF]

I never heard any european jest about the dutch... anyone ?

"There are two things in this world I hate. People who hate other people because of their culture, and the Dutch."
My favorite, made me giggle at least. Most Dutch jokes... I have problems getting. Especially from the English.

 

[onedreamer]

interesting, in Italy we have many jokes about Germans, Swiss and French, even English, but never heard one about Dutch.

 

[Ryry]

Hey, I'm American, and I love France.

I had been living in Germany for 2 years, and then I went to Paris. In comparison (I was in Munich), I found people to be polite and fun. Certainly not rude at all.

But to the game, it makes sense as a UP and is historical. France was (and is) a master of diplomacy.

Ryry

 

[Ryry]

OK. We had a Brazilian joke, so here is my joke on Brazil (which would be a cool civ to play. UP: sexiness):

Bush, Sarkozy and Lulu (Prez of Brazil) are on a plane. The plane is lost.

Bush says: "Dont worry, I'll find out where we are!". He opens the door. Sticks his hand out and starts feeling around below. "I got it!" He declares. "We're over New York, I just felt the top of the Empire State Building!"

Sarkozy looks skeptical and decides to stick his hand out and check. "No," he reports. "We are over Paris, I just felt the top of the Eiffel Tower."

Now Lulu steps up. "Let me check." And he sticks his hand out. After a minute he pulls is arm back into the plane.

"Well?" Ask Bush and Sarkozy.

"Gentlemen, I can assure you we are over Brazil." He replys.

"How can you be sure," they ask. "Did you feel the top of Christ the Redeemer?"

"Not exactly." Holding up his arm he says, "someone stole my Rolex."

Ryry

BraSilians: Before you flame me: Love Brasil. Been there twice. Going to Rio next year.

 

[Lokolus]

We have the exactly the same joke on Romanians...

 

[sdLeo]

BraSilians: Before you flame me: Love Brasil. Been there twice. Going to Rio next year.

No worries... I actually almost posted that one myself - it's a good one

(In case you're all wondering: Yes, I'm French - and North American - and Brazilian - can you handle that?)

 

[onedreamer]

We have the exactly the same joke on Romanians...

I'm pretty sure this joke is originary from Italy and it regards people from Naples...

 

[Ryry]

I originally heard it about Zaire under Mobutu.

Ryry

I just love to tell it to Brazilians. IMHO Brazilians and Americans are very similar. Example: They both LOVE to complain about their country, it's problems, how it is falling apart, the stupid president, etc..... but if a foreigner dares to agree, or worse yet add complaints, they freak out. Every Brazilian you meet will be happy to go on and on about the tragedy of Brazil (a country so wealthy, yet with so many poor) and complain about life in Brazil. Just start agreeing with them and telling jokes about Brazil and watch them convert to a nationalist.... but we Americans are exactly the same too...

Ryry

 

[The Almighty dF]

A joke about Zaire?
Usually, when I hear that nation in a joke, it's a joke involving the... well... constant coups.
Possibly the last time The Simpsons made me laugh. Zaire's name repeatedly changing while they were flying there.

I even had a history teacher once joke that "Map-makers for these books got tired of changing the name of a certain central African nation, so do expect to be corrected in the future. 'I hear there's a new coup going on in the Shiny Happy People's Super Democratic Federal Republic of the Constitutional Monarchy of the Congo.' 'It's called Congoland now. Mickey Mouse took over last year.'"

 

[Greeneyedzombie]

but the highest dutch elevation is probably around 25 metres... ]
m

The highest part is 315 meters high. We only have to share it with the germans and belgium.

I'm pretty sure this joke is originary from Italy and it regards people from Naples...

No, its about Amsterdam.

Most jokes I heard about the dutch come from belgium, telling how greedy we are. Maybey some belgium people care to tell them.

 

[say1988]

Most the jokes I (a Canadian) hear about the Dutch refer to drugs and sex in Amsterdam.