I agree that General_W's original language may be too threatening. And I agree with General_W that the following line:
makes it clear already - if they want guaranteed peace with us, they cannot attack TNT. It doesn't take much to figure out the flip side.
How else can we shorten General_W's prose?
That whole second paragraph... who on MIA wishes that DNuts controlled their entire continent now? Sincerely regret?! How much more insincere can we be? I think phony apologies damage our credibility. And do we know KISS was negotiating a deal? We don't really know what was said. KISS swears that we still had a tech deal in place. I don't want to go down the path of hearsay - again, let's stick to what is absolutely true.
I also would drop the part about our contributing gold. Maybe we would, but we certainly shouldn't have to, and if we do, then it would go to TNT and not Dnuts. I don't think it's worth putting that idea in Dnuts' heads.
So what's left?
I think that reads rather nicely.
Edit - maybe a little too much fawning at the end....
Any treaty we sign with you will have to include a clause that prevents you from aiding KISS by attacking TNT.
makes it clear already - if they want guaranteed peace with us, they cannot attack TNT. It doesn't take much to figure out the flip side.
How else can we shorten General_W's prose?

That whole second paragraph... who on MIA wishes that DNuts controlled their entire continent now? Sincerely regret?! How much more insincere can we be? I think phony apologies damage our credibility. And do we know KISS was negotiating a deal? We don't really know what was said. KISS swears that we still had a tech deal in place. I don't want to go down the path of hearsay - again, let's stick to what is absolutely true.
I also would drop the part about our contributing gold. Maybe we would, but we certainly shouldn't have to, and if we do, then it would go to TNT and not Dnuts. I don't think it's worth putting that idea in Dnuts' heads.
So what's left?
To Robi_D and your fellow Doughnutians
Thank you very much for your reply to our recent communications, you have gained much respect by being so honest and frank.
We are eager to have a non-agression pact with you – but we must tell you, we see KISS as a major threat that is quickly advancing on a "domination" victory in this world. If you attack TNT to "salvage some land" there is no question that this will be a MAJOR boost to KISS's conquest ambitions.
Any treaty we sign with you will have to include a clause that prevents you from aiding KISS by attacking TNT.
(Side Note: we're more than happy to see you busily settle land in the "Sacred Jungle"and claim "TNT land" that way. Perhaps you could even sign a peace deal with TNT that specifically grants you large portions of the Jungle? We would be happy to work alongside you in lobbying TNT.)
We are also very open to including some generous technology trading agreements to our non-aggression treaty with you – but you'll have to suggest what you'd like to see, as we don't know the details of your current arrangement with KISS.
Also, please know, we remain open to any thoughts and ideas you may have regarding the aggressive KISS action and will be happy to discuss in confidence any concerns you may have.
Remember that you have a potential ally in us and that you will find that we are generous and useful to friends.
Regards
Feaurius III
MIA Foreign Offices
I think that reads rather nicely.

Edit - maybe a little too much fawning at the end....