*****
LOCATION: President E626's office inside the Palace in Washington, D.C.
*****
The President sighed. He wanted to go to War, but his Joint Chiefs of Staff begged him to wait until all is ready. <I hate waiting>, he thought.
Miss Stein entered the room, and said, ‘Pooky? General Eltrai wishes to see you. He says that he has some news for you.’
The President muttered, ‘Eltrai? Where have I heard that name before?’
Miss Stein said, ‘Don’t you remember, Pooky? You recently appointed him to your Joint Chiefs of Staff. He’s head of the Science Department.’
The President said, ‘Oh, him! Show him in, won’t you, you sexy broad!’
Miss Stein replied coyly, ‘Of course, Pooky!’
She turned, and walked seductively to the door. The President watched her firm buttocks shift position with every step.
The President said, ‘That reminds me. I need to get my clock fixed.’
Presently, Miss Stein reentered the room with General Eltrai following close behind, but not too close. General Eltrai had heard what happened to the last guy who got too close to Miss Stein. The President unleashed his volcanic temper on the poor slob. <The poor guy never saw it coming.>, General Eltrai thought soberly.
He walked to the front of The President’s desk, and saluted in the traditional way, with a fist over his heart.
The President thumped his own chest with his fist, and belched.
General Eltrai said, ‘Sir! Great news! Our scientists have learned the secrets of Metallurgy! Now, as soon as we obtain the Saltpeter, we can upgrade our Military significantly! Mr. President, a while ago, I set the scientists to learn about Military Tradition next.’
The President asked, ‘Military Tradition? What’s that?’
Eltrai replied, ‘Our scientists believe that there is a way for our Knights to be equipped with guns instead of lances. It’s a major upgrade, Sir!’
The President looked at Miss Stein, and asked, ‘Major Upgrade? Isn’t he in charge of Food Collections for our troops?’
Miss Stein replied, ‘No, Pooky, you’re thinking of Major Glutton. What the General is saying is that your knights will be stronger, and will be able to defeat the enemy more handily.’
The President looked back at General Eltrai, and said, ‘Fine, General. I’m anxious to see your results.’
Suddenly, a red-shirted messenger burst into the room. He exclaimed, ‘MR. PRESIDENT! TERRIBLE NEWS! THE CITIZENS OF NEW ORLEANS HAVE SECEDED FROM YOUR EMPIRE, AND JOINED MAYA!’
The President did a slow burn, and yelled, ‘WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?!! THAT’S IT! I WANT THE ENTIRE JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFF IN THE WAR ROOM IN 15 MINUTES!’
Miss Stein purred, and said, ‘I love it when you talk like that!’
The President shot her a cross look, and seethed through clenched teeth, ‘I’m not kidding, damn it!’
Miss Stein, seeing the look in The President’s eyes, said respectfully, ‘Right away, Sir!’, and thumped her ‘chest’ with her fist. The President didn’t even make a comment about Miss Stein’s breast jiggling. He was MAD!
*****
(20 minutes later in The War Room)
The entire Joint Chiefs of Staff stood nervously at attention in front of The President. They had never seen The President in such a state. None of them even cared to wager if they would live to see another sunrise or not. For the past 5 minutes, The President had paced angrily back and forth in front of them. The President had made sure to look angrily at each of their faces in turn. They noticed that even Miss Stein was wearing proper clothing for her position as The President’s secretary. Each of them knew that something was about to hit the fan.
The President stopped pacing, and leaned/sat on the edge of his desk. With his arms folded across his chest, he shot the Generals another dirty look, and said, ‘Give me one good reason why I don’t have the whole lot of you beheaded!’
No one answered.
‘ANSWER ME, DAMMIT!’
General CommandoBob said, ‘SIR! IT’S THE MAYAN CULTURE, SIR!’
The President looked at CommandoBob, and said, ‘What the hell is this ‘culture’ that you keep speaking of, and why are my people flocking to it?’
General CommandoBob gulped nervously, and said, ‘SIR! CULTURE IS HARD TO DEFINE, SIR!’
The President shot him the General a dirty look. The President slowly walked over, got nose-to-nose with General CommandoBob, and snapped, ‘Try!’
General CommandoBob said, ‘With respect, Sir! Culture itself is an abstract concept. Sculpture, art, poetry, and even worship all contribute to the Culture of an Empire. The people want to feel that they are part of a greater existence.’ Taking a deep breath (which he knew could be his last), he continued, ‘Our people, especially in the border cities, just don’t feel connected to the American Empire! They look at the Mayan Empire, and long to be a part of it. This isn’t to say that the American Empire doesn’t have any Culture at all, because it does. The libraries you’ve had built, for example, are a form of Culture, but it isn’t enough right now. The Mausoleum of Mausollos (that your glorious Military captured from Korea) is an excellent example of Culture. Leonardo’s Workshop is another fine example of Culture.’ Nodding, he said, ‘Sir!’
The President fumed, and stewed on this a bit, and said, ‘What else is there to report? General AutomatedTeller, the last time we had a briefing you vowed to get our captured Scout back from Arabia! Where is he? He would have been returned here to Washington, D.C., but I haven’t seen him!’
General AutomatedTeller said, ‘SIR! I have good news and bad news! SIR!’
The President muttered under his breath, ‘What I wouldn’t give to get some good news once in a while without any bad news.’ He said to General AutomatedTeller, ‘Continue!’
‘SIR! ARABIA HAS SIGNED A PEACE TREATY WITH US! THE WAR IS OVER! SIR!’
‘I’m assuming that’s the good news. What’s the bad news?’
‘SIR! Arabia claims to have no knowledge of the whereabouts of our Scout! He’s M.I.A., probably even K.I.A.. SIR!’.
The President sighed. <More paperwork>, he thought. <Thankfully, I came up with this form letter scroll for just such an occasion. I just fill in the name, and it’s done.>
The President said, ‘What about you, General Marsden?’
General Marsden said, ‘SIR! THE FORBIDDEN PALACE HAS BEEN COMPLETED IN BOSTON! SIR!’
‘Anything else?’
‘SIR! KNIGHTS TEMPLAR HAS BEEN COMPLETED HERE IN WASHINGTON, D.C.! SIR!’
‘What the heck is Knights Templar?’
‘SIR! Think of the Knights Templar as a Training ground for special troops. We have good and loyal young men lining up to be trained there. At the end of their training, each of them will be a Crusader! SIR!’
The President thought for a moment, trying to absorb all of the new information.
General Marsden said, “SIR! You mentioned a few minutes ago that you wished that you could get some good news without there being any bad news attached to it!’
The President said, ‘Yeah! So?’
‘SIR! A ‘WE LOVE THE PRESIDENT DAY’ celebration has begun in Austin! SIR!’
The President almost beamed. He said, “Now that’s what I’m talking about!’
The General all exhaled in relief.
The President pulled the Battle Plans map off of the wall, and threw it into the wastebasket. ‘General Marsden!’
‘SIR!’
‘I want you to come up with a plan that’ll burn each and every Mayan city to the ground! Reassign our troops as you see fit! I want the plan on my desk A.S.A.P! After we destroy Maya, Korea is next, followed by Arabia! And don’t worry, France will get theirs too someday! General Eltrai, do you have anything else to report?’
General Eltrai said, ‘Our scientists have unlocked the secrets of Military Tradition, Mr. President. Theology is next.’
General AutomatedTeller began to sweat nervously, and The President noticed. He walked over to the General who began to pray silently.
The President said, ‘What?’
General AutomatedTeller said, ‘SIR! About Theology . . .’ He let the sentence die out.
The President cocked an eyebrow, and said, “Yes?’
‘I . . . I . . . I . . .’
The President unsheathed General AutomatedTeller’s sword, and examined it. ‘You what, General?’
General AutomatedTeller stammered, ‘I-I-I traded the technology known as Gunpowder to the French for the technology known as Theology and all of their Gold.’
‘How much Gold?’
‘20 Gold, Mr. President!’
‘YOU TRADED ONE OF OUR LATEST ADVANCES TO FRANCE FOR THEOLOGY AND 20 GOLD?!!’
‘It wasn’t my idea, Mr. President!’
‘THEN WHOSE WAS IT?!!’
‘SIR! GENERAL MARSDEN GAVE ME THE IDEA, SIR!’
The President slowly turned, and walked towards General Marsden with murder in his eyes.
The General’s eyes grew wide with fear. He said, ‘Mr. President, allow me to explain!’
‘You’ve got a minute!’
‘A minute? Is that all?’
‘50 seconds, General!’, The President warned while putting the tip of the sword under General Marsden’s chin.
‘SIR! As far as we know, Arabia and France share the other continent by themselves. Sooner or later, they’ll be at each other's throats! By supplying France with the Gunpowder technology, we help keep Arabia in check.’ The President pressed the tip of the sword a little bit deeper into the skin. General Marsden hurriedly said, ‘France will keep Arabia from becoming too powerful and vice versa! SIR!’
The President lowered the sword as a small trickle of blood ran from General Marsden’s throat.
He went to return the sword to General AutomatedTeller’s sheath, sighed deeply, and said, ‘I swear if I get any more bad news today, someone’s gonna die!’
Suddenly, the red-shirted messenger burst into the War Room, and exclaimed, ‘MR. PRESIDENT! TERRIBLE NEWS! THE CITY OF EDMONTON HAS SECEDED FROM YOUR EMPIRE AND JOINED MAYA!’
The President screamed, and lopped the messenger’s head clean off of his shoulders with one strike of the sword. The headless corpse collapsed in a geyser of blood as Miss Stein screamed. The President returned the bloodied sword to General AutomatedTeller’s sheath.
Stunned by the carnage that he had just witnessed, General Eltrai gulped, and said, ‘I’ll get our scientists working on unlocking the secrets of Education next then.’
The President said absently, ‘Fine!’ He walked around his desk, and sat down.
Quietly, he said, ‘Get out, the lot of you! Miss Stein, assemble a detail to clean up this mess.’, gesturing to the dead body, ‘and leave me alone as well.’
In utter shock, Miss Stein said, “Yes, Pook . . .er, I mean, Mr. President.’
The Joint Chiefs of Staff left the room in a hurry with General Marsden thanking General AutomatedTeller for ‘throwing him under the chariot’.
*****
On to your posts:
Originally posted by
Marsden:
Actually, I wanted you down load both of them to look around, but not to go from there, they are only theoretical possiblities.
I'll dl both of them later. As soon as I'm done with this post, it's time for din-din. After that, it's 2 hours of 'House' on FOX, followed by the return of 'ECW' on the Sci-Fi channel at 10:00 PM (GMT-4).
And do not sell yourself short, the only reason I was able to do what I did is your good management of your empire. If you didn't give me anything to work with, I could never have done what I did. And I must add, your lands are beautifully manicured, excellent job, much better than I would do.
Awww, shucks! Go on . . . I mean it, go on!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Experiment 626
Some things that I noticed that I'd like a little clarification on:
You lowered the SCI sclider to 0%. Why?
To free up cash for rushing improvements and money is good to have in the treasury. Also, you (wisely) have so many scientists that reducing the slider to zero only added about 3 turns to the length of time to discover education. It also change our tax revenues from 22 to 131 per turn.
Gotcha!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Experiment 626
You razed the city with The Temple of Artemis in it. Why? Since the ToA puts a Temple in every city, wouldn't it be a good thing to hang on to? If we're worried about La Resistance, couldn't we put more defenders in there?
Eltrai has good points, but most important of all, we already discovered education which cancels the Temple of Artemis ability to make temples making it one big liability.
Ah! I didn't know that!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Experiment 626
Did you declare war before our Settler stepped into Mayan Territory to found Saltpeter Camp?
Oh, yes definitely.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Experiment 626
I know that you signed an RoP with Korea to reach more Mayan cities, but wouldn't that be counter-productive? Isn't that giving Korea a chance to RoP rape us?
A slight possiblity, but very unlikely as we are going to keep the miltary alliance in effect until after the RoP expires. It's due to expire in 1220, we will not be extending it. If the Koreans don't leave immediately we will demand they do so. If they refuse and declare war on us, our cavarly will make short work of them.
Sounds like a plan to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Experiment 626
How exactly did we lose the road to our Iron? It's right next to a City Center. We would just need to get Huey, Dewey, and Louie to rebuild the road, right? Should we then build a Fortress on the Iron and protect it?
This was my fault. I saw the 2 spearmen walking through our territory. I was concentrating on the attacks and didnt want to risk any weaker units attacking them when they really couldn't attack, but then they pillaged the iron mine. And as of 1150 they were still loose in our lands. I was going to have one of the regular (one made in a city without a barracks) cavalry pop them when one became available, but I kept needing them on the front. Mostly a lapse of concentration on my part.
That's O.K. God knows I have lapses in concentration. I probably have more lapses than mental clarity.
Also, if you'll allow me, I'd like to rant here.
[RANT] What the heck is going on here, there is no, absolutely no difference in the color between us and the enemy![/RANT]
Tell me about it. I wish that there was a savegame editor where I could change Maya's team color to yellow, and resave. Then, when I load the game, I would know exactly where my territory is on the mini-map.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Experiment 626
I realize that this is probably impossible to do, but could you explain to me (step-by-step) how you did these things, and why? If I tried to play the Set of 20 Turns like you did, the RNG would probably kill me.
.
That's what I'm trying to do, within reason. I am trying to point things out to you so you see them on your own, not tell you do this and that. You have to make your own decisions, it's better that way and I think more fun. Too much instruction makes confusion and turns it into homework. Have a good time! You're not bad at this at all, you just lack confidence, don't forget what I said before, your empire management made this possible, and that is something RNG can't take away from you.
And I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Oh, btw, Marsden, the 'assignment' in the Chapter is what you just did. I'm doing it this way to be able to incorporate the info into future chapters.
![[offtopic]](/images/smilies/offtopic.gif "Offtopic [offtopic]")
