F^4: Obligatory Jokes thread....

[mabellino]

Post things that made you smile here.... pics are also acceptable

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There are two cows in a field; the first cow says "Moo". The second cow says "B@sr@rd! I was going to say that!"

One of my fave old jokes with a kind of on topic feel since it is very loosely related to "milking"

 

[BillChin]

Joke: A man named Jose moves from Mexico to New York City. On his first day in town he wants to go to Yankee Stadium. Jose goes up to the ticket window and gets the bad news that the game is sold out. Jose begs "Please, I am here all the way from Mexico, and the Yankees are my favorite team. There must be an empty seat some where, I don't care how far up the seat is." The ticket seller thinks for a moment and says, "okay, I think I have something for you, it against the rules, but I will bend the rules in this case. It is a seat on top of the flag pole in center field." Jose agrees.

After the game, the ticket seller asks Jose if he enjoyed the game. Jose says, "yes, very much. You Americans are so polite, at the beginning of the game, everyone stood up and asked me if I could see." (Oh say can you see...)
+ Bill

 

[mabellino]

lol! that's much better than mine!

 

[Smirk]

There are two kinds of people, 1. those who lie.

 

[alamo]

Bamspeedy's sig still makes me laugh - loosing towns to Bab culture has aggrevated me on more than 1 occasion.

Post about the newbie pitfalls are also a bit humorous -

I rushed a barracks with my leader - where did he go?
I build a hydro plant and my coal plant disappears, so I built another...
I lost my FP to a culture flip - can I recapture it?
I did a sneak attack on my MPP partner - why does everyone hate me?

 

[CruddyLeper]

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

No programmer would attempt it. It's a hardware problem.

What's red and invisible?

No tomatoes.

Why do true socialists never drink strong tea?

Because to a true socialist, all property is theft.

 

[AlanH]

Question: How many mafiosi does it take to change a light bulb?


Answer: Three. One to change the bulb and one to make sure there are no witnesses.

 

[TedJackson]

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A: I've no idea! They still haven't managed it

Ted

 

[mabellino]

lol...
when is the UK version due? And will the German version work with uk ptw?

 

[TedJackson]

Originally posted by mabellino
when is the UK version due?

Apparently Monday. But I'm not holding my breath


Ted

 

[Yndy]

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said,
"Socrates, do you know what I just heard about your friend?"
"Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
"Triple filter?" "That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness.
Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?" "No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"
This is why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. It also explains why he never found out that his best friend was doing his wife.

Plus this one: It's past tax season but that seemed very appropriate for me.