Forcing your beliefs on your children.

[Sanaz]

What's wrong with letting your children keep an open mind and thus allow him to make an informed decision? What possible harm can this cause?

A strict religious viewpoint can give children great comfort, and they can have the feeling that they are "right". This works wonderfully in keeping kids from questioning/arguing too much, helps them behave better, and can help them through some tough development periods, such as when they have a friend, relative, or pet die for the first time. Children have a difficult time determining right from wrong,and look to parents for the strength and confidence that the world is a safe, understandable place. Which we know it is not.

Having said all that, I still wouldn't dream of raising my children in a home where they think they know all the answers, no matter how comfortable or polite it makes them. Besides that, all the opinions in the world get tossed when you are actually a parent, because every kid is different, and the theory of child rearing slams hard against the reality of life pretty fast.

 

[Packer-Backer]

Good job, CenturionV! I hate whenever some uses the tolerant and the phrase open-minded. Tolerance means not kill someone just because their black, Jewish, Arabic, etc. Open-minded means listening to what people have to say before you criticize them. For example, let's say someone is in a wheelchair and your group is walking down the streets, but you have to slow down to make it easier for the handicapped person, that is toleration. If someone wants to slow down your group by doing something stupid like looking in a stoor window repeatedly, then if you tell him to stop doing it are you intolerant? So that's why something like waging in open war on Arabs is wrong but waging an open war of Islam isn't necessarily wrong, as a religion is a decision and a race is not your choice.To be tolerant is to allow anyone join your church, but for some people (I haven't noticed it recently on CivFanatics) to call missionaries intolerant (of others' religions) is absurd.

Just because someone's parents are Methodist, Protestant, Calvinist, or whatever it doesn't mean that that person doesn't want to be a Methodist, Protestant, Calvinist, etc. It seems like atheists generally (not all, of course, although how often to atheists acknowledge the words: not always, generally, and sometimes? ) consider Christians who are the children of Christians brain-washed.

On the note of considering yourself 100% right: I have no doubt in my beliefs. When I voted for Bush last election I slighlty doubted him because I noticed a few cases of being more moderate, you know, trying to avoid being too far on either side of the Republican party. I definently sense doubt, but I have no doubt in my religious beliefs and my current political beliefs. Can you honestly tell me that you are without a doubt 100% sure that you are right?

 

[luiz]

A strict religious viewpoint can give children great comfort, and they can have the feeling that they are "right". This works wonderfully in keeping kids from questioning/arguing too much, helps them behave better, and can help them through some tough development periods, such as when they have a friend, relative, or pet die for the first time. Children have a difficult time determining right from wrong,and look to parents for the strength and confidence that the world is a safe, understandable place. Which we know it is not.

Sure, but it also takes away their opportunity to learn about others POVs.
There's nothing wrong in a strict religious viewpoint, as long as this viewpoint was chosen freely and consciently, instead of plain indoctrination.

PS: In my first posts I stated that I don't see a problem in parents teaching their religion to their children. I only see a problem when they teach intolerance and/or force the children to follow their faith.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Parents have the right to indoctrinate their children in whatever religion they profess. They're the child's parents, no one else. I don't know about other religions, but the Christian-Judeo bible encourages responsible child-bearing such as that.

Outside of religion, however, no. Children are apt to follow the way of their parents, but a lot of the times they go the exact opposite way out of pure spite. This isn't a double standard to me; it's just that true religion is on a different level than anything else.

 

[Akka]

Nobody has the "right" to endoctrinate anyone.
At most, they have the power, the possibility, and they abuse it.

Teaching about a subject is a thing. Showing example is a thing. Transmitting your values, your culture, is a good thing.
But trying to mold a person, like if it was clay, so that she has the same ideas and opinions as you, is simply abuse. And unhealthy.

One is a gift, the other is a violation. And it shows quite a lack of respect for the person you're trying to built into what you like.


Hey, Fred, I'm surprised to see you accepting the preplanned indoctrination from your potential wife ^^
Love makes us do things we would not usually do, he ?

 

[thestonesfan]

Nobody has the "right" to endoctrinate anyone.
At most, they have the power, the possibility, and they abuse it.

Teaching about a subject is a thing. Showing example is a thing. Transmitting your values, your culture, is a good thing.
But trying to mold a person, like if it was clay, so that she has the same ideas and opinions as you, is simply abuse. And unhealthy.

Unless of course you are always wise, just, and right, like me. My future children are lucky!

Anyway, I'll use any trick in the book to get them to behave, go to bed, eat their peas, not kill people, whatever. I'll make up a new set of Commandments and claim that they will assuredly go to hell if they don't follow them.

 

[Akka]

Aaah, slowly converting to the do-as-daddy-told socialist spirit ?

 

[thestonesfan]

Aaah, slowly converting to the do-as-daddy-told socialist spirit ?

Not so. A child is not a rational being, and he/she must be dealt with accordingly.

Like a criminal, basically.

 

[Akka]

Yes, I always knew children where criminals without rights

 

[BassDude726]

I think setting a certain age at which a child is accorded the rights of an adult is a strange and arbitrary practice. Some kids are bound to reach maturity long before others, so how do they do it? Set a standard of maturity, and then take the average age at which children reach it? And here's one for the anti-smoking people: If smoking is so dangerous, then why do you let kids do it at 18, and make them wait till 21 to drink?

 

[Desmond Hawkins]

What the hell is the point of a parent if they are not allowed to teach a child what they at least think they know?

Now of course you have to give kids freedom in thought, but kids are also wanting any guidance from their parents as they can get. If they admit it or not.

 

[FredLC]

Hey, Fred, I'm surprised to see you accepting the preplanned indoctrination from your potential wife ^^
Love makes us do things we would not usually do, he ?

Not exactly. I guess that I am confident enough that my influence will teach my kids to choose based on merit of the ideas instead of just because they were thought that idea was the only one. Like this, even if they become passionate priest-wannabe catholics, I'll be more than satisfied, because I don't have a problem with the idea of them believing, I just don't like the idea of them doing so because they were never given a choice.

Regards .

 

[yoshi74]

I would teach my children to think themself and question everything they heard from someone else. When i'am succesfull at this they will be much like i in this topic. Dunno if it works that way, ask me in ~20 years again