Hercules was relaxing in his jacuzzi after a hard day's battle against the evil Mayans. Suddenly his wife popped her head around the door. "Wuzzy Bunny, there's something here to see you."
"I told you not to call me that! Wait a minute, you said something not someone, what on earth do you mean."
"Well, actually its a monkey."
"A MONKEY!!"
"Yes dear, your hearing is excellent. Shall I show it in."
<sigh> "Why not."
<some time passes>
"Hello, it is me, the RNGod."
<waits for applause, confused look when none is forthcoming>
"Er, hi. I guess. How can I help you?"
"Actually the question is not how you can help me but rather how can I help you."
"OK then, how can you help us?"
"Glad you asked. I heard you guys were coping a bit of a beating from the gods and not liking an unfair fight I decided that I can help direct your plans and attacks."
"I see, have you any experience in this field?"
"Plenty, I helped out my puny followers in
this adventure."
"Excellent, did they win?"
"Uh, no but I also helped out the midigant quarrelplegics (OOC: link sadly dead as there is no more DM)."
"How did they go?"
"All dead unfortunately but none of that was my fault. At least let me give you some free advise."
"Umm, OK."
"Well firstly, you can't expect to win any battle against the deities with no seige."
"Point taken, we are building many more."
"Also, you should do something with this guy."
"Again, point taken but we're not sure whether to save him for a wonder or bulb Guilds or something similar."
"Hmmm, why are you researching Chemistry then at 10% research?"
"Next question...."
"Do you have any spies?"
"Next question..."
"That's all I can think of from the top of my head, we should head to the front and see an attack in progress. I can advise you on the go."
"Well I was thinking of attacking Chichen Itza and razing it to the ground as we can afford no more cities."
"Good choice, let's go. We can ride on my panzer. Hop on."
<Hercules hops on the panzer>
"Move, you stupid animal, to the front quickly. pffft pffffffffft plllllltttt."
"Hey stop spitting on me you feral monkey."
"That's not spitting its whistling. I an a professional whistler in my spare time I'll have you know. And no-one calls the RNGod a feral monkey and gets away with it. You'll pay, you'll all pay, pffft pffffffffft plllllltttt pkktlllsltll. Why won't you move you feral panzer?"
<RNGod clicks his fingers and disappears in a wave of spit>
"That's not spit, its whistle liquid!!"