Funny watch translation

[Perfection]

My grandparents bought me a watch in their trip to china. It has many mistranslations

Listen to this

PAY ATTENTION MATTERS

1, Becatse the electron meter made by precise electron spares, so can't dismantle sillfully, except appoint expert.
2, It can't be pushed button under water while you swimming.
3, It must be repaired right now by appoint expert while there have some water vapor
4, The electron meter can bear the generalshake. But it must be avoid within strong collide, strong shake, used rudely and falled on the spolit place
5, It can't be used in extremely hot or bitter cold weather.
6, It can't washed in chemistry matters, soap. Otherwise it will corroded the rubber sheet of the surface. So it only can be cleaned in sofy cloth.
7, It can't be carried in strong electric field and static electricity cytle etc.

 

[Zarn]

WTH?!?!? That's ridiculus. Now, (takes out pocket watch and starts swinging it) you will go to the politically correct thread. You will go to the politically correct thread. When I count to three, you will go to the politically correct thread. 1-2 and 3 (puts his watch back into his pocket).

 

[Perfection]

I'm sorry but thats what it said. Should i lie to you?

 

[Zarn]

No, I beleive you. It's just that it is weird that they couldn't get the translation down It's nothing against you.

 

[Perfection]

Thanks zarn with your support I'll write down another page from the instruction manuel.

INSURANCE CARD

This product would be insuranced all functions well by our company, since you buy it within one year. If the product malfunction, our company would injust or repair it free. But when following conditions happened, you should pay the ray material fee.
1, When you didn't obey the pay attention matters lead to the product damage.
2, Battary were used up and appearance scar, fade etc. You must show the insutance card when it repiared.
Date buyed:
the retail dealer's seal:
(The card will effective after sealed by te retail dealer)

 

[Zarn]

It's like me with the French language.

 

[Perfection]

Do you want me to read you another page?

 

[Zarn]

If you want to, I can always read the previous posts to remind myself of how bad my French is.

 

[Perfection]

I'll do it tommorow i'm too tired to do it today

 

[Beam]

We want more, we want more.

Does the watch actually show time or what?

 

[Perfection]

It works perfectly, I will post the rest when i get home