Girl Problems? Ask

[Civrules]

Whoa, even on this mainly gaming/politics/religion/forum, lots of people are having problems with girls.

If you aren't one (mainly members who are over 60 years of age or absolutely uninterested in girls). Go away from this thread. You are lucky, because problems like this need to be solved because sometimes they get way out of hand for no reason.

I'm not a pimp or a player (I hate that terminology). I am not a dating expert (pfft!). I'm simply at the tip of the iceberg when it comes to understanding girls, and frankly once you get to this point, everything slides down to place relatively easily.

Do not make this into a "look at me cry with my problems" thread because as I recall these get closed faster than it takes FireFox to load about:blank on a T3.

Simply: If you are curious about something, ask and I'll get to it.
This is a fascinating subject matter with the differences between the sexes and psychology and it should yield good discussion.

 

[GoodEnoughForMe]

What the hell is a girl?

 

[Civrules]

What the hell is a girl?

Good first question!
A girl is a highly social being (much more social than guys, in fact) that desires excitement, fun, and achievement (at least the ones who know what they want from life do) from life.
That being said, they have a highly developed sense when it comes to judging guys, and deailing with ones who don't "get it." They need that because attractive girls (believe it or not) get approached with the same old openers literally dozens of times a day (especially in big cities). They can't waste time dealing with the usual boring approaches.

Thus, they get happier than a 6 year-old on Christmas morning when they see a guy who actually "gets" how to spark attraction in her.
Attraction is automatic. Guys are automatically attracted to a "hot" girl. Girls are automatically attracted to a guy who "gets it."

Edit
Example: Get a huge dog. One that attracts attention everywhere you two go.
Go out every day in the city. People will approach you all the time. Eventually patterns emerge. With time approaches will get boring because people will automatically say the same things about the dog ("whoa! it's huge! Where did you get it/what did you feed it?" etc). However, the right approach by someone who actually says something different about the dog (relating to it, or telling something you've never heard) will immediately have your attention.
Same with a cool car. If you are lucky enough to have a Ferrari, you'll see the same thing (I don't have a Ferrari).
At times, drawing attention to yourself is almost not fun at all because it gets boring.

 

[Perfection]

What the hell is a girl?

I don't know, but I hear John Belushi is interested in purchasing a small one.

 

[GoodEnoughForMe]

Good first question!
A girl is a highly social being (much more social than guys, in fact) that desires excitement, fun, and achievement (at least the ones who know what they want from life do) from life.
That being said, they have a highly developed sense when it comes to judging guys, and deailing with ones who don't "get it." They need that because attractive girls (believe it or not) get approached with the same old openers literally dozens of times a day (especially in big cities). They can't waste time dealing with the usual boring approaches.

Thus, they get happier than a 6 year-old on Christmas morning when they see a guy who actually "gets" how to spark attraction in her.
Attraction is automatic. Guys are automatically attracted to a "hot" girl. Girls are automatically attracted to a guy who "gets it."

Isn't this a little too much of a blanket statement? Or am I just really as stupid with girls as I think I am?

Yeah, I have no clue.

 

[Civrules]

Isn't this a little too much of a blanket statement? Or am I just really as stupid with girls as I think I am?

Yeah, I have no clue.

Sorry, your question was WAY too blankety itself!
(Just in case you hadn't noticed.)

 

[GoodEnoughForMe]

Sorry, your question was WAY too blankety itself!

Ok. My problem is simple that I don't have the guts to ask a girl out. So I guess I don't have much to ask, except, maybe what is the best way to approach a girl about a date?

 

[Civrules]

Ok. My problem is simple that I don't have the guts to ask a girl out. So I guess I don't have much to ask, except, maybe what is the best way to approach a girl about a date?

THERE WE GO!
That's more like it, fellow Michigander.

I like saying new things to people, but what I'm about to say isn't new: Most people have the exact same problem.
This also isn't new: If you don't ask, you never find out. If you do and she rejects you, it's the same as not asking, only you are much better off because you know the answer and have moved on.

Do not take failure with girls personally. Enjoy failure. Go out there with a desire to fail because then you learn. And by learning you become successful.

To answer your question. People perform better when they have a group of friends they can trust for support.
Be in a very good mood when you are about to ask. Be almost hyper to the point where you don't care what the world thinks (five drinks of "Monster" help a lot).
You and a friend or two, go up to the girl and the group. Start small talk. Be friendly, but don't smile all the time.
Girls tend to be defensive, so she may initially have an attitude (I don't know - worst case scenario). In order to knock that down, make her self-conscious and expose her insecurities. Playfully make fun of her earings or shoes or whatever. This isn't to get her self-esteem low. Just to lower her defenses. After that, talking should be easy.
In the middle of things say that you really have to go and say this:
"Me and my friends are heading out on such and such day. It'll be fun, so come along." You can tell her to invite friends if she wishes.
FIRST HOWEVER: Start the conversation with her friends in that group (if she is in a group). Do not immediately focus on her. Please. Her friends will get weird and pull away. Befriend her friends and THEN focus on her.

Be fun. Ask casually. Don't ask with a question, say what I said. If she says she's busy (her way of saying no), make fun of her again. Say, "I never knew doing homework on a Friday night was a way to relieve stress from a long week for you..." Laugh and walk away. Always be the first to walk away from an interaction, no matter if phone, email, IM or whatever.

Just do it. DO NOT make it into a habit of saying you are going to ask, only to not ask. It gets to be a habit indeed. Once it is, it is very difficult to ask. I've been there.

 

[Quasar1011]

I just got married in August. No girl problems here.

My advice to single guys: learn to dance, learn how to be a friend; be respectful of the opposite sex.

 

[soul_warrior]

Ok. My problem is simple that I don't have the guts to ask a girl out. So I guess I don't have much to ask, except, maybe what is the best way to approach a girl about a date?

not an expert myself (as i think i only asked one girl out. the rest approach me.) but:
* do the legwork and find a common event where both of you will be, the casually ask her if she wants to go together?
* surprise her! ask her out of the blue, in the corridor if she want to go see that movie or something.
* lure her in. lead a chat in the direction of a nice movie-restaurant-park-whatever. once there mention how youd like to go there - preferably with her.

remember - women are an ALIEN RACE.
they are different from us down to the molecular level.
they think differently, eat differently, and can kill you without a second glance if you annoy them.

best approach is, imho:
* approach with caution, bearing gifts (always works - we call it bribes, though)
* become thier "friend". that will surprise them. they will think you're not the usual guy (which is interesting. which is VERY GOOD)
* try to show genuine interest in them. it might surprise you that they can actually THINK

but MOST IMPORTANTLY - BE A GENTLEMAN.
most guys are creeps. a nice one is ONE TO KEEP and SHOW HER girlFRIENDS.
that means more for you later on.

 

[Civrules]

I just got married in August. No girl problems here.

My advice to single guys: learn to dance, learn how to be a friend; be respectful of the opposite sex.

Great advice indeed.
Do learn to dance. I didn't know how to when I got a friend girl one evening. So I made fun of myself so much no one cared if I knew how to dance or not. Eventually she complimented me saying that I got better. hah

 

[TheBladeRoden]

My problems are too complex to express within the limited confines of your "text"! Maybe I should attach an iso image of my brain. That could work.

 

[Rossiya]

Why do girls want their boys to do all the chasing?

 

[jimbob27]

Theres this firey spanish chick who's I like. She's so beautiful, but we have such a clash of personalities. She's constantly asking me to go to her buddist prayer meetings, and wants me to join her church. Every time I refuse, she gets her buddist friends to come and beat me up.

Dear CFC, what should I do?

 

[Rossiya]

If she's that beautiful, become a buddhist.

Or at least, that's what I would do.

 

[GeneralZed]

How you get to know if a girl likes you, as in: go out for some drink every week, sometimes cinema, to her house, but she keeps talking about her ex and is always ready to have a new boyfriend, but you have the feeling that youd be the last guy whod be with her?

 

[AL_DA_GREAT]

Theres this firey spanish chick who's I like. She's so beautiful, but we have such a clash of personalities. She's constantly asking me to go to her buddist prayer meetings, and wants me to join her church. Every time I refuse, she gets her buddist friends to come and beat me up.

Dear CFC, what should I do?

Wait buddist beating you for not going to the temple. Are you sure this is the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
Here is my problem:
I see a hot girl. What do I say when I approach her? (I want lines ifyou say talk about weather or something like that I will flame.)

 

[Lotus49]

I have no problems with girls/women whatsoever. The answer is very simple - just don't have any in your life.

Sometimes I wish I had someone to make out with in the shower, or get some hanky-panky action going on under the sheets when I wake up nice and randy in the morning... but, once I go rub one out, I realize, "Man, that would so not be worth it."

Plus, you ain't kiddin' anybody - the more they entrench themselves into your life, the more it's all about 'them', as they gradually STEAL your life, and 'being a man', it's your job to be totally content with that.

My plan is to get rich, and have a bunch of young, dumb, hot-bimbo models pleasuring me -with the FALSE hope of marriage- and then I'll just cycle them out when they get anywhere close to their mid-20s, when they start to grow a brain. I'll have various bimbos, at various locales. Several in Monte Carlo, several in Rome, Paris, etc.

Yeah, it's a long term plan, and yeah I have to make due with massively 'realistic' and expensive sex toys in the mean time, but this plan is going to work. It's already underway.

"Girl problems". Bah. That's so typical. "The dynamics of human pair bonding". I guess I'm just more concerned with me, myself and I.

You have no idea how many rich guys -doctors, etc.- I know, that married some young babe, they go to the vacation home in France, and suddenly he's 'fallen down the stairs'. Yeah... they're all about using their claws... the claw you in, seduce you into marriage... then they've "got you".

My imagination? No. I've heard it straight from the horses' mouth. Once women realize how wise I am to the 'game', we talk openly about their tactics. Pretty damn sick stuff. "Nice girls", too. Country girls, from Montana.... "with a plan". Yeah, they all do. Believe it.

Me, I've got my own ideas. My own game. We're all on the prowl for what floats our boat... good luck to all, and maybe stop and think about these 'problems' you have, a little more analytically. As in, "what's in it for ME".

Beat them at their own game - that's all I'm saying. Not that hard, if you really focus. Otherwise, you'd better believe they're going to play YOU.

 

[azzaman333]

Is it a bad thing if you have a reputation for not talking much?

(some people are shocked when I start talking at school)

 

[Mirc]

Do learn to dance.

Why do girls like so much guys who dance? I can't dance, no matter what. I tried lots of times and all I got was everyone laughing at me and saying I was being hilarious.