Good Wish/Bad Wish VIII Making Your Dreams Come True... Sort of...

[Stylesrj]

Granted. However, you're killed by the guy with a BFG (Big Freakin' Gun)

I wish to be the guy with the BFG.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Granted. Game balancing issues state you have to forfeit all movement.

I wish I had nuclear-capable bombers stationed in the Azores.

 

[Stuck in Pi]

Granted. They don't have nukes.

I wish that stuff would happen that doesn't affect me at all.

 

[Stylesrj]

Granted. War, famine and corruption. Oh, but you're living on Mars, so all that won't affect you. Got any air?

I wish to live on Mars with Stuck in Pi.

 

[choxorn]

Granted, you can't breathe CO2, unlike him. Death by asphyxiation is fun!

I wish to be able to breathe anything.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Granted. You decide to breathe lava. You die.

I wish for a laser and laser-deflecting armor.

 

[Stylesrj]

Granted. You are killed by bullets.

I wish to return back to Earth. Mars isn't a very nice place to live.

 

[choxorn]

Granted, you're still dead.

I wish I had a cotton ball that could morph into anything at my whim, and my whim alone, and it cannot break, be stolen, be teleported to Alpha Centauri, be locked in a safe with a combination I don't know, and it cannot get a mind of its own, and it does not morph back into a cotton ball after a time limit or power exependiture, and nothing arbitrary and unrelated will happen as a result of this wish.

 

[ZPV]

Granted. Nothing arbitrary or unrelated will ever happen again. You get very bored.

I wish for a blueberry cheesecake.

 

[hell_hound]

Granted, Its the size of a pinhead

I wish to have to learn a less than 450 word latin checklist

 

[Stylesrj]

Granted. However, no one uses Latin or even learns it any more. Nice going learning it.

I wish my project plan to be completed

 

[mythmonster2]

Granted, it was the project plan to fight Chuck Norris. You cease to exist when you get within a mile's range of him.

I wish to be impervious to all diseases.

 

[choxorn]

Granted. Unfortunantely, falling off the Empire State Building still hurts.

I wish I could survive anything.

 

[Stylesrj]

Granted. However, no one else does and you're left alone for all eternity. But at least you can survive it right?

I wish for my assignment to be finished.

 

[hell_hound]

It is finished but in latin, look who has the power now

I wish it would snow again

 

[choxorn]

Granted, it snows one 1/16th of an inch.

I wish for 1 foot of snow.

 

[mythmonster2]

Granted, it's in the past, randomly appearing in the middle of the Arabian Desert right in front of Muhammad as he was preaching Islam. The snow conveniently lands on his hand, and all people there believe it is a miracle, as the the snow melts and turns into water, which saves a random child from thirst. Due to this miracle, Islam takes off much more quickly, and soon nearly all of Europe, the Middle East, India, Central Asia and most of Africa north of the Equator is Muslim. Forwarding to 1776,the British Caliphate is attempting to put down a Christian rebellion in its far off colonies in Al-merica, the name for the Americas here (Yes, I stink at names). In the battle, general Ali Washington is shot in the head and dies, and the rebellion is crushed. To show its power, the British Caliphate orders public execution all over the continent, alienating its allies, of which the most important is the French Sultan. Angered by the killings, and realizing the Caliphate's weakness, the British Isles are invaded, but then some ultimate being gets pissed off at me writing too long and screwing up history and smites some random person. You.

I wish I could have thought of a better ending.

 

[Stylesrj]

Woah Mythmonster, that was awesome!
Pity about the ending though

Granted. It involves several years of executions and then when it comes to Choxorn, he soon becomes leader of the Caliphate and leads it to a new victory. Oh and you are killed by him for trying to kill him.

I wish wish twists were more awesome.

 

[hell_hound]

Granted, but they are all written in a code that you cannot decipher

I wish I could fly

 

[choxorn]

Granted, only two feet off the ground.

Oh, and my air force shoots you down.

I wish that I, now being the Caliph, could kill Stylesrj.