I want the AI to be aggressive towards competing ideologies but I don't like how that aggression disincentivises players to pick an ideology at all.
If you aren't aiming for a millitary victory, don't pick one, so that you don't have to deal with attacks... And if you are, you need to wait and see what your prime targets pick - usually you're waiting long enough that you could usually win another way (or multiple other ways TBH)!
Culture was the most egregiously broken victory track (and it's improved but not ideal still) but Millitary is a close 2nd I think...