How many __________ would it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[DBear]

How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

3. 1 to change the bulb, and 2 to blame the Democrats for the previous bulb burning out.


How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

89. 1 representative from each special-interest group.


How many moderates does it take to change a light bulb?

Infinity. They're afraid to turn it to the left or right.

 

[stratego]

"How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

hehehe, screw.

 

[Gelion]

How many policemen.....
9
1 stands on a table holding a lighbulb.
4 walk around the table in a cirle, holding it, and turning it in one direction
4 others walk around the table in the opposite direction so that the one in the middle doesn't feel dizzy.
(i'm bad in translating jokes )

 

[Chukchi Husky]

Someone came up with this joke before I thought of it:

Q: How many games machine programmers does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
A: One, but he needs the seal of approval from Nintendo before he can put his light-bulb in THEIR socket.

 

[shadowdude]

Q: How many atheists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Atheists never "see the light" anyway do they ?

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three-one to sue the power company for insufficiently supplying power, or negligent failure to prevent the surge that made the bulb burn out in the first place, one to sue the electrician who wired the house, and one to sue the bulb manufacturers.

 

[Fizzi]

how many men does it take to screw a lightbulb???

only 1, cuz men will screw n e thing

 

[Chukchi Husky]

How many wolves does it take to change a lightbulb?
12: 1 to turn it off, 1 to unscrew it, 1 to insert the new one, 1 to take the old one away, and 8 to look at the new bulb work.

How many hunters does it take to change a bulb?
One, but first he has to steal it from the wolves, and when a wolf tries to take it back, the hunter kills it, claiming that the bulb was his.

 

[Goldflash]

How many dyslexics does it change to take a lightbulb?

 

[YNCS]

How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb.

1 to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

8 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

2 to point out spelling or grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

5 to flame the spell checkers.

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"...

...another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive.

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp."

1 know-it-all who claims he was in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.

5 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a light bulb forum

7 to ask why the light bulb needed changing in the first place.

4 to explain how light bulbs burn out.

1 to say "it was Clinton's fault."

9 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.

7 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

4 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post corrected URLs.

3 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too."

2 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

5 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three."

4 to suggest that posters request a light bulb FAQ.

2 to ask "what is an FAQ?"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

6 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs."

1 new forum member to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

 

[Gelion]

Topic closed?
I've read this one a long time ago.
and it is "light bulb" ....

 

[Jack the Ripper]

How many Irishmen would it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1 to hold the bulb, plus 1000 to turn the building round.

I heard that it went "it takes 15: 1 to hold the lightbulb and 14 to drink until the room starts spinning"

 

[The Person]

Q: How many hardcore Civvers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: None. The light from my screen is enough. (<-- posted that before, but in a different guise)
A2: 1, but he/she's from OT.

Edit: Removed the "Lightbulbs don't exist in Civ" thing

 

[LLXerxes]

Q: How many hardcore Civvers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: None. Lightbulbs don't exist in Civ.

Obviously, you've never researched sceintific method!

 

[Tomoyo]

You mean Electronics?

 

[Yuri2356]

You mean Electronics?

Ahem, are we all forgetting that Civ1 reserch was measured in lightbulbs?

 

[Amenhotep7]

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but don't ask how they got there.

 

[Paradigne]

YNCS... That was... GENIUS

 

[DragonRunner]

Q. How many people with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


A. Wanna go ride bikes?

 

[Tomoyo]

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fish.

 

[Yuri2356]

How many Soviets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5

1 to steal an AMerican bulb,
1 to re-design it into a new Russian Bulb,
1 to die heroicly in an accident while changing the bulb,
1 to ensure that the project remains a secret from the evil capitalists,
and 1 to execute everyone involved in "operation lightbulb," and deny it's existance.