Discussion in 'Civ4 - Stories & Tales' started by axident, Aug 27, 2007.
FINALLY! Thank god for an update
don't worry about the saves, i uninstalled civ so it would stop distracting me so much
and thanks for the update
Keep it coming. I am still following this with great interest.
I just found this and im hooked keep up the good work
Long time no see
It's been 2 months.
This story is lasting almost a year now.
Yeah, and a long time since he showed up
Perhaps he's been kidnapped and forced to work in an Ottoman harem.
Or he was a spy and was detained for questioning?
lmaooo @ this post
sorry, the randomness and sincerity threw me off
Still no reply from the man
I'm here darn it, I just want to end the story with a hilarious bang and it's difficult... I'm emotionally attached to this story! Haha.
He's still alive!
A hilarious bang? sounds great!
Yahooo!!!!!!!!!! (If you hear of a psychotically happy and ecstatic boy in India, ignore the news)
That Berglund sure is a slavedriver, the Viking miner says conspiratorially to another miner at the outskirts of the sole mine that will ship uranium to the Viking Imperial Center for Transuranium Operations Research (VICTOR).
Careful, Bjorn, that kind of talk can get you beheaded for lack of sufficient patriotism! Axel replies, lighting a cigarette.
Axel, weve been toiling for twelve hour shifts every day with just a few water breaks!
Its wartime. Were trying to preserve our way of life, Axel sniffs.
What way of life, bullying and killing everyone else into accepting Buddha? There has to be a better way.
Yes, and that way is to blow everyone else up with nukes.
That doesnt sound very Buddhist to me, Bjorn says, skeptically.
Careful, you dont sound sufficiently patriotic enough to me.
Bjorn snorts. All right, even if we do get this uranium out, then what?
VICTOR will make a rain of nuclear missiles and our armies and navies will liberate Colossia, Axel says proudly as he looks down, fumbling for another cigarette. The uranium refineries and centrifuges here have been working very hard. Tomorrow were shipping enough material for ten nuclear missiles to VICTOR. Alex lights his cigarette and contently takes a puff. Bjorn is never short of words, but he doesnt say anything.
Bjorn? Axel glances up.
A large man with night vision goggles and a breathing mask is holding Bjorns mouth shut with a knife to Bjorns throat.
Before Axel can yell, someone behind him grips him similarly and holds a similar knife to his throat. Axels eyes widen with fear as he surveys his surroundings. The four of them are at the lip of a huge strip mine, one of many in the area. From this vantage point, Axel can see that dawn is giving away to morning. Several groups of dimly-lit figures are climbing up and over the perimeter of the mining operations. No alarms or gunshots. Mine defenses had been light, and wartime intelligence had not warned of this attack. The crippled Viking Air Force has not provided any worthwhile reconnaissance for months, and in any case the mighty Dutch army has a reputation for invincibility. Axel knows in his heart the mine is doomed. He finds himself bound and gagged in short order, exchanging looks of terror with Bjorn.
Later, the soldier who had held Axel takes off his breathing mask and radios back: General and Admiral Eleven Feathers and Bushnell, we have established full control of Viking uranium production and destroyed the railcars that were just about to leave with the refinerys first shipment of highly enriched uranium.
Berglund! rasps Ragnar, stepping into the master control room of the Viking Imperial Center for Transuranium Operations Research (VICTOR), which was built near the Palace itself, disguised as a parking lot.
Sir! Were cut off from--"
Do you think Im deaf? Of course you are cut off from the mainland uranium mines! The Dutch navy has landed on Buddhaland and we now must ask that sniveling Julius Caesar for uranium farther south, if the Hindu heathens dont bomb that mine first! Ragnar snaps impatiently.
What about Korea? Are there any uranium mines there?
Wang Kon is dead. Severe diarrhea, Ragnar grunts.
After centuries of constipation, he finally sh*t his pants all in one go, when he saw the gigantic Dutch army at his doorstep. He died of severe dehydration. Serves him right for not getting enough fiber. Maybe he should have traded some of his Resources to us for wheat or something.
What a way to go, Berglund whistles. Bombs erupt in the distance.
I dont have time for this, Ragnar says glumly. Do what you can to build a bomb. I must go back to the palace to direct my incompetent generals.
The Korean navy tries and fails to do lasting damage to our massive Dutch navy. (1474)
Sure, stop trade with Korea. Thats fine with us. Were kicking Koreas sorry butt, so we dont want to stop the war. (1475)
Another Korean city falls. (1478)
After heavy coastal bombardment, air bombardment, and air strikes, a strong amphibious assault takes out another Korean city. (1480-81)
Ship bombardment and artillery strikes brings Ragnars first Buddhaland city to its knees. Modern Armor mops up. (1483-84)
We could airstrike the uranium, but why bother? Well just plant a huge army on top of it instead (though the stack will move if nobody makes Manhattan Project in time). (1485-86)
Our only aircraft near Ragnars oil is foiled on its first try. (1489-90)
We need to go pretty far south to blow up the uranium that Caesar holds, but its pretty certain that we can move a carrier or two within striking distance within a couple of turns. So its unlikely that Ragnar will be able to make the Manhattan Project and a nuke before we get to that uranium. (1492-93)
Fiber Optics. Fusion is next. Kremlin obsolete, sniff sniff. Ragnar tries and fails to deal permanent damage to our fleet prowling the northern waters of Buddhaland. (1497)
This game would have been long over from UN diplomatic victory if we had built the UN. But diplo victories are no fun. Grinding Korea into dust for their insolent espionage is. Annihilating Sitting Bull after he made one extortion too many, and because of his overpowering culture that was threatening to engulf our border cities, is also fun. (1499)
Moai City spawns an engineer, which is no surprise given that most of its many specialists are engineers. He hangs out with the other sleeping GPs in Amsterdam. (1501)
Anti-Tank units that get upgraded into Mech Inf retain the Ambush promo. We airstrike a Korean tank that has invaded our borders and let the Mech Inf blow it up. (1504)
Our quick-striking offense moves off the uranium and goes for the city next to it instead, after the swarm of jet fighters hits it from the carriers nearby. There are so many troops there that we decide to let the city off the hook this turn, as we cant capture it and have a big garrison in the city, all on the same turn. (1509-10)
This screenshot practically speaks for itself. (1515)
As the advanced Dutch military machine strangles outdated Viking resistance, blowing up entire divisions of Viking cavalry and first-generation tanks before they can so much even come in range of Dutch Modern Armor, the willpower of the Viking people is put to the test. Facing a dominating coalition of Hindu hostiles, the once-proud Buddhists face imminent conquest. Ragnar formally surrenders on January 1, 1931.
Yes? Willem responds.
We formally surrender, Ragnar mumbles.
I cant hear you.
What? Were still at war!
Yes but my people noticed that you gained just enough territory to dominate them, and now we willfully ask you to spank us silly.
Im not that kind of dominator. Perhaps youre thinking of my dear Incan friend. He keeps certain toys in his headdress along with his handcuffs and chains. Hes into that kind of stuff.
Yes, so is Wang Kon. He likes to be slapped when hes, you know...
Why am I not surprised? But wait, how did you know he likes to be slapped?
Ummm. No more questions! Are you going to accept our surrender or not?
Accepted! Welcome to the Hindu fold!
We pop a couple of GPs to research Fusion in 1 turn. (1516-18)
Ragnar throws his ships against our giant navy. He throws his army against our giant army. We lose zero units. (1521-22)
Fusion done. Future Tech, here we come! (1524)
Our mobile artillery all unload, but once again we just dont have enough Modern Armor to take the city and have a big garrison in it, all on the same turn. We get a GG out of the deal though. (1529, 31)
We take the last of the Viking cities on Inca Island. (1533-34)
Another massive naval and air bombardment, another air strike barrage, another mobile artillery rush, and more Drill-promoted Modern Armor mop-up work. Yawn. (1538, 41)
Didnt we just see this? (1542, 44)
Yet again? (1545, 46)
The game probably wont last much longer, so we bulb our remaining GPs and try to get Future Tech before the game ends. (1547)
Seemingly every turn, Ragnar tries to collateral our stack and then rush it, and seemingly every turn, our Drill-promoted Modern Armor shrugs off most of the damage and annihilates the counter-attacking army. (1551)
But what became of our heroes and villains?
Willem and Ilse tied the knot at the Apostolic Palace in a riotous ceremony. They named their firstborn son Jan in honor of the Dutch fallen hero; he would go on to be a stand-up comic. Willem and Ilse retired shortly after establishing the United Hindu World Government (UHWG) with elected presidents. Willems second son would become an Iron Chef.
The first president was Jan Bushnell the Second, the war hero who won the election n a landslide. He would allocate significant resources to the building of interstellar ships to grab territory quickly, though the Silicoids managed to grab some inhospitable worlds before human technology managed to cope with such harsh environments. (Jans mother, the widow of Jan Bushnell, the Dutch super spy without which victory would be in doubt, became a renowned Hindu poet and often traveled to distant cities on Colossia to give readings. She was given a lavish lifetime pension to boot.)
Eleven Feathers continued to serve in the military and ply the waters in ever-more sophisticated Trompest in a Teapot capital ships. His descendants would be among the first colonizers of the Alpha Centauri system.
Huayna Capac spent the rest of his years building model rockets and airplanes and writing nonsensical limericks about both. He died unmarried and childless, and rumors of his orientation persist to this day.
Ragnar and Suleiman refused to mandate that their subjects convert to Hinduism, but Willem was a kind ruler and allowed Buddhists autonomy within the framework of the United Hindu World Government. Ragnar and Suleiman did eventually convert to Hinduism and learn the Hindu Hug.
Ragnar spent the rest of his days composing epic poetry and several of his descendants served aboard the First Instellar Fleet which bravely fought off the Darlok invasion of 2283.
Suleimans great-granddaughter would serve as Alpha Centauri systems first governor and make great strides as the chief interspecies ambassador.
Ah, and what of the story of the humans versus the Mrrshans, Silicoids, Meklars, and Darloks inhabiting the space near Sol? Thats a different story for another time
Domination Victory. Obligatory post-game screenshots follow. (1553-end)
Folks, thank you all so much for your support in comments and in rating this thread highly throughout the writing process--I couldn't have done this without you!
A lot of things happened in my life over the last 10 months; I moved twice and met and lost the girl of my dreams, and, of course, I wrote this story as a guide to alternative ways of winning the game than the most popular strategies of the time (especially SE). Of course, 10 months later, my strategies are probably outdated, but it was a heck of a ride to be able to entertain y'all for so long.
I really struggled with the ending but hope that longtime fans of the Civ family of games will "get" it and the irony of how REXing doesn't stop at Earth's borders. Bye for now!
Congratulations on a wonderful story. You've kept us all entertained.
Now go off and take a break! But, y'know, not for too long okay?
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