Important Language Policy Change from The European Commission

[Rambuchan]

People, please be advised of the new rulings below from The European Commission, regarding the EU's use of "EuroEnglish"...

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English

will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the

other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government

conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has

accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish". In

the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make

the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of

the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less

letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the

troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like

"fotograf" 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new

spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes

are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which

have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the

horible mes of the silent "e's" in the language is disgraceful, and they

should go away. By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as

replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary

"o" kan be dropd from vords kontaiining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors

be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a

reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun

vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer."

In the words of Michael Jackson: Are you going to "Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change"? Does this ruling make sense to you? Or will you be following Rage Against the Machine's lyrical advice? Kindly discuss.

 

[REDY]

Hmm I think that language cant be created by someone. The people with their talking making new languages, not European commission. So its rubbish.

 

[Mirc]

Wow, interesting news!!

It looks weird now, but I think it will be an improvement over time, once we get used to it. But I don't know if it's a good idea to try and enforce it, because as REDY said people make the language, not the EU commission.

One thing I don't udnerstand: why English will be the official language of the EU instead of German? I find German a better choice.

 

[REDY]

One thing I don't udnerstand: why English will be the official language of the EU instead of German? I find German a better choice.

Hm personally I prefer German, but why do you think its better choice?

 

[Tycoon101]

Move this to the Humor and Jokes forum, this is an old joke that I have heard countless times before.

Personally, I wouldn't care about the language of the Europeans.

 

[Mirc]

It's spoken by more people in Europe, and in some countries, like Slovenia, it's like a second language. And though English grammar is easier, German has some things over English. Also there's my personal preference but this doesn't count. It's just my opinion.

 

[Winner]

People, please be advised of the new rulings below from The European Commission, regarding the EU's use of "EuroEnglish"...

In the words of Michael Jackson: Are you going to "Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change"? Does this ruling make sense to you? Or will you be following Rage Against the Machine's lyrical advice? Kindly discuss.

How many times did we have this joke here?

 

[Perfection]

How many times did we have this joke here?

Thanks a lot, spleenbutt! Now I can't strike again!

http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=157869

 

[Rambuchan]

I even posted in that thread.

 

[Bushface]

I think that revision of our rich language has already taken hold. It's called "Txtng".

 

[Sparta]

Boo, "Txting"!

FWIW, here's a much older version of this modest proposal, attributed [allegedly] to Mark Twain (it appears that original authorship may be in dispute though):

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling by "Mark Twain"
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s," and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g / j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c," "y," and "x" - bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez - tu riplais "ch," "sh," and "th" rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

(As someone who has in the past argued (overly vehemently) against profaning the word "Celt" and its variations with a soft c pronunciation, I think I'm actually with him for the first sentence or two ... )
The only semi-reasonable link I could find with a quick googling

(By the way, Rambuchan, I'd personally be a bit concerned about anyone who would prefer to take life advice from Michael Jackson rather than from the most wise and awesome Rage Against the Machine. )

 

[Lord_Iggy]

I dunno, I agree that 'c' is a useless letter, but with all of these things the ideas get worse and worse. For example 'Io' and 'Yo'. Both are different, but in this system would be pronounced the same.

There's more, but heck, this is supposed to be comedy. I'm not going to dig any deeper than that.

 

[sysyphus]

I dunno, I agree that 'c' is a useless letter,

Agh! How dare you? Without it we'd be Kanada... and that's just not proper.

 

[Volum]

I think in some places of the world, you are Kanada

 

[Pentium]

It's spoken by more people in Europe, and in some countries, like Slovenia, it's like a second language.

Not really... we have quite a lot of words with german orginin in some dialects, but by no means can you say it's a second language, nobody speaks it unless talking to a German or Austrian.

But one can feel English taking over, especially young people (myself included, of course) use more and more English words in our conversations.

Btw, in Slovene, just like in German, there's Kanada and Amerika. Nothing new for us.

 

[Swedishguy]

Agh! How dare you? Without it we'd be Kanada... and that's just not proper.

Well, that's what swedes call you.

 

[Stormrage]

And croatians Kanada, Kanada, Kanadaaaaa

 

[Simple Simon]

Hm personally I prefer German, but why do you think its better choice?

Hm, read this again:

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer

Sound German enough to me