jalapeno_dude
AKA Panda Judo Eel
Nice story! Assassinations are always fun. 
Can you give it a title, please?
Can you give it a title, please?
JalNES I: Quick and Easy
- Thread starter jalapeno_dude
- Start date
alex994
Hail Divine Emperor!
I know! It's even better when you use women 
jalapeno_dude
AKA Panda Judo Eel
You're not the only one who has done that this NES... *points at NK*alex994 said:I know! It's even better when you use women
alex994
Hail Divine Emperor!
Nonsense! Doing it on NPCs is so low! It's all about high level assasination of PC ranking people 
The men of Hittite!
Long ago, you lived in a land of brave and fierce warriors. All your neighbours respected and feared you, and there was no army on the face of earth that could have stopped your invincible armies. For centuries your nation prospered, arts and science developed and people joyed for their luxurious life. But it all came into an end in the most tragic way, through betrayal.
At the zenith of your old dynasty, the Medean barbarians betrayed you when you trusted to their aid. In savage hordes they crossed the border and invaded your beautiful homeland, burning down villages, raping women and slaughtering those who were unfit for slavery. They even sieged the pillar of civilization, your capitol Hattusa, and captured it only after it's defenders had made them pay ten-fold for their lives. But, in the end it fell, and so begun the dark age of oppression and slavery for the noble and once glorious hittite people.
The oppression continued for centuries, until we, who were betrayed just like you once were, fought back the savage medeans and ultimately pushed them away from your lands. Now, you are free, just like you once long ago were, but don't let it fool you. The Medean barbarians are still out there, and they still thirst for the blood of your wives, sons and daughters. Will you let them do it? Are you going to just stand by and whatch when they once again rape your women and torture your childs? No! You will not, because you are men of honour and valour! You would fight to the death for your loved ones!
But this time, you will not be alone. The free peoples of Ur and Dillmun stand by your side against the Medean demons. When faced by our combined might, these barbarians can and WILL be defeated! Then, you will receive your vengeance! You will do to Medeans what they once did to you, and sell their men into slavery, while you rape their women and loot the riches once belong to your enemies! By doing that you avenge your ancestors and give them peace in their afterlife.
Now, Men of Hittite, join us! Join us against these fould demons who call themselves "Medeans"! Together, we will Triumph, and we will preserve our freedom! Together, we will rebuild the grand Hittite cities which once were the beating hearts of civilization! Together, we will have our revenge!
Join the fight against oppression!
OOC: Screw historical accuracy.
Long ago, you lived in a land of brave and fierce warriors. All your neighbours respected and feared you, and there was no army on the face of earth that could have stopped your invincible armies. For centuries your nation prospered, arts and science developed and people joyed for their luxurious life. But it all came into an end in the most tragic way, through betrayal.
At the zenith of your old dynasty, the Medean barbarians betrayed you when you trusted to their aid. In savage hordes they crossed the border and invaded your beautiful homeland, burning down villages, raping women and slaughtering those who were unfit for slavery. They even sieged the pillar of civilization, your capitol Hattusa, and captured it only after it's defenders had made them pay ten-fold for their lives. But, in the end it fell, and so begun the dark age of oppression and slavery for the noble and once glorious hittite people.
The oppression continued for centuries, until we, who were betrayed just like you once were, fought back the savage medeans and ultimately pushed them away from your lands. Now, you are free, just like you once long ago were, but don't let it fool you. The Medean barbarians are still out there, and they still thirst for the blood of your wives, sons and daughters. Will you let them do it? Are you going to just stand by and whatch when they once again rape your women and torture your childs? No! You will not, because you are men of honour and valour! You would fight to the death for your loved ones!
But this time, you will not be alone. The free peoples of Ur and Dillmun stand by your side against the Medean demons. When faced by our combined might, these barbarians can and WILL be defeated! Then, you will receive your vengeance! You will do to Medeans what they once did to you, and sell their men into slavery, while you rape their women and loot the riches once belong to your enemies! By doing that you avenge your ancestors and give them peace in their afterlife.
Now, Men of Hittite, join us! Join us against these fould demons who call themselves "Medeans"! Together, we will Triumph, and we will preserve our freedom! Together, we will rebuild the grand Hittite cities which once were the beating hearts of civilization! Together, we will have our revenge!
Join the fight against oppression!
OOC: Screw historical accuracy.
jalapeno_dude
AKA Panda Judo Eel
Nice propaganda Andis!
Do note that it was the Sea Peoples, not the Medes, who sacked Hattusa.
Do note that it was the Sea Peoples, not the Medes, who sacked Hattusa.
War with Words, not Weapons
People of Medea, our victory is close, but we must continue on as strong as ever.
The vile Urrians occupy our west, and foolishly try to set our people against us! They will fail.
Our army came within an inch of conquering Ur earlier, and now we are even stronger. Mistakes of the past form the successes of the future!
I swear to you, citizens and soldiers of Medea, Ur will burn, and the head of Andisallamash will decorate the South Gate!
People of Ur, you are foolish to continue the war. Surrender now, and I swear to Ahura Mazda that you will be spared. The word of a Medean Monarch has yet to utter a lie in these matters.
Your king continues a fight that he knows is unwinnable. He fights merely to spite the Medes, and to bring more bloodshed to his own people. He attempts to bring in Hittites, a power that could have crushed Ur without a thought had it not been for the power of Medea, into the war to support him. If the Hittites return, it will be they who dominate Mesopotamia, not the deluded Leader of Ur.
Make your choice now. Surrender, and live peaceful and productive lives, or suffer and die under the 'King' of Ur.
People of Medea, our victory is close, but we must continue on as strong as ever.
The vile Urrians occupy our west, and foolishly try to set our people against us! They will fail.
Our army came within an inch of conquering Ur earlier, and now we are even stronger. Mistakes of the past form the successes of the future!
I swear to you, citizens and soldiers of Medea, Ur will burn, and the head of Andisallamash will decorate the South Gate!
People of Ur, you are foolish to continue the war. Surrender now, and I swear to Ahura Mazda that you will be spared. The word of a Medean Monarch has yet to utter a lie in these matters.
Your king continues a fight that he knows is unwinnable. He fights merely to spite the Medes, and to bring more bloodshed to his own people. He attempts to bring in Hittites, a power that could have crushed Ur without a thought had it not been for the power of Medea, into the war to support him. If the Hittites return, it will be they who dominate Mesopotamia, not the deluded Leader of Ur.
Make your choice now. Surrender, and live peaceful and productive lives, or suffer and die under the 'King' of Ur.
jalapeno_dude
AKA Panda Judo Eel
Boo updating. Hooray propaganda!
~Darkening~
Weep, Mother.
To Eirehann
From Brittania
We appreciate your offers of help. It would be benificial to both of us if we each patroled our waters and squashed these pirates.
To Prussia
From Brittania
The days of old are past. We hold no adverse feelings towards your people and do not believe that Prussians are the source of these raids. We will glady commit to our NAP. After all, peace shall prevail for those who seek it.
OOC: Eh. Yes it is quite nice to be rich ;]. And I'm about 99.99% sure of who bloody raided me. And all I have to say is, payback isn't a witch.
EDIT: Screw historical accuracy indeed.
From Brittania
We appreciate your offers of help. It would be benificial to both of us if we each patroled our waters and squashed these pirates.
To Prussia
From Brittania
The days of old are past. We hold no adverse feelings towards your people and do not believe that Prussians are the source of these raids. We will glady commit to our NAP. After all, peace shall prevail for those who seek it.
OOC: Eh. Yes it is quite nice to be rich ;]. And I'm about 99.99% sure of who bloody raided me. And all I have to say is, payback isn't a witch.
EDIT: Screw historical accuracy indeed.
jalapeno_dude
AKA Panda Judo Eel
Let's have a PropagandaParty!Lord_Iggy said:This calls for a ridiculous propaganda fest!
LittleBoots
The Bloody Banner
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2006
- Messages
- 1,979
North King said:But... my nation is like four times your size...
Touche
The Birth of a Nation
An excerpt from the overview of the last chapter (The Birth of a Nation)ofA History of Ancient Eire
While officially the Kingdom of Eire ceased exist in 1388 BC, High King Domnall I had said much, but accomplished little in the way of making a truly new kingdom. Yes, Ireland was united under one King, but that King was at the mercy of his legions. The Galloglach, as discussed in chapter 2, were fiercely loyal, but also expected their God King to act in a godly (and therefore aggressive) manner. The result was that the High Kings were essentially bound to the wishes of the Galloglach and had to feed their insatiable desire for conquest, or else be devoured themselves.
After years of distracting the Galloglach with putting down rebellion after rebellion of recently conquered peoples, allowing them to temporarily sate their bloodlust in widespread acts of slaughter, the High Kings led them across fields, valleys, streams, and seas to destroy the last vestiges of Irish enemies. Their whipping boys dead, the Kings were forced to act.
As it happened, when the hammer of the High Kings finally fell on the Galloglach, it missed the mark. The attempt to destroy the Galloglach in one fell swoop proved too eager. Confidence was too high and instead of covert destruction, Crown Prince Aedric (who was actually High King at the time, due to his father's death on campaign, though he did not know it) attempted a show of strength. The foolish decision led to approximately 300 years of warfare between the Galloglach and the Kingdom.
A series of sufficient, but not salient, High Kings provided enough leadership to weaken, but not destroy, the Galloglach. Meanwhile, progress stagnated somewhat at home, although this is less of an issue than it might seem. While things did not progress, they certainly did not worsen either. Essentially, the people of Eire Proper went about their lives the same way for 300 years.
Finally, in 1106 BC, High King Flaithemon IV rose to the throne after the somewhat suspicious death-by-indigestion of his father, the ineffective Niall VI the Gouty. He rallied the people, scaring them into military service through tales of the brutal Galloglach and an all out offensive was launched against the dwindling territory of the Galloglach. The campaign was not a brilliant one. It employed neither fancy tactics, nor inspired strategy. In fact, the only thing that sets the war apart (aside, of course, from its result), was the use of the Druids of the Claw (See Chapter 2 for more on these warriors). Flaithemon simply had more men and a terrible, yet inspiring, will. He pushed the Galloglach back all the way to the beach, where a last stand was made that was eerily reminiscent of the old barbarian stand before they fled into the sea. [1]
This time, however, there was to be no escape. Flaithemon's predecessors had been chipping away at the Galloglach navy for some time by now, and an alliance with the Britannia peoples sealed the fate of the Galloglach navy. The battle was bloody, but in the end superior numbers, along with a deep-seeded terror of what would happen to them should they lose, won the day for the people of Eire.
The people returned to Eire Proper. Soldiers were given the choice to continue service with a promised pension or return home to their families. The Druids of the Claw melded back into civilian society, save for a few who remained as elite scouts. Eirehann, as it could now be called, began to rebuild. This, though, is a discussion for another book, for the entity of Ancient Eire had largely ceased to be, surpassed now by the new idea of a unified Kingdom of Eirehann, or Ireland. [2]
[1] Some scholars make the point that, in many ways, the battle was even more similar the first attack on the Galloglach by the Crown Prince, Aedric. Both times the Galloglach met a citizen army who were less trained, but more numerous., both times the Galloglach were trapped on a beachhead. This is the less referenced version for a variety of reasons, the first and foremost being the fact that, as hated as the Galloglach were, they were being stabbed in the back at this point. Other reasons include the very light fighting that occured during that encounter before the Galloglach simply fled, as well as the fact that the locations of the last stand of the Galloglach and the barbarians hundreds of years earlier were geographically almost identical.
[2] The choice to include the Era of Two Irelands in a textbook about ancient Eire is one of scholarly preference. However, it should be noted that very little changed until the Galloglach were eliminated. They were a remnant of the Old Ways, monsters with no place in the world they had helped to create. It was only after they were defeated that change could truly be enacted. The overtures towards citizenship, the beginnings of a codified system of laws, these were present during the Era of Two Irelands, but their impact was only felt after the kingdom was reunified.
Thus it is largely accepted that the Kingdom of Eirehann and the title of King of All Ireland is really only applicable from 1100 BC onwards.
(OOC: I'll be honest... the story was only to save this post from being spam...
)
GAHH UPDATE!
"Sons of Sparta, the future holds many mysteries, but you must remember that we are a peoples of ACTION, we will write our glorious deeds in the blood of our enemies, Be not swayed by luxeries, false comforts. Take action and be heros, find your place in Elysium , Brave Sons of Sparta THIS is your destiny,"
*cough dearly wishes for less of the Propoganda BS Cough*
"Sons of Sparta, the future holds many mysteries, but you must remember that we are a peoples of ACTION, we will write our glorious deeds in the blood of our enemies, Be not swayed by luxeries, false comforts. Take action and be heros, find your place in Elysium , Brave Sons of Sparta THIS is your destiny,"
*cough dearly wishes for less of the Propoganda BS Cough*
LittleBoots
The Bloody Banner
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2006
- Messages
- 1,979
To Britannia
From Eirehann
Indeed, our ships patrol our waters even now.
OOC @ JD: Do I have contact with Prussia through my merchants in markets Britannia?
From Eirehann
Indeed, our ships patrol our waters even now.
OOC @ JD: Do I have contact with Prussia through my merchants in markets Britannia?
~Darkening~
Weep, Mother.
Brittanian Propaganda:
Pirates!
My dear people, pirates are both evil and not good! Do your great king a noble service and kill them all!- Signed Ryiaus, King of all of Brittania
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