jokes - keep them clean this time!!!!!

I heard this one from somewhere... I forget where through... but here it is:

2 men was out walking their dogs. One was walking a doberman and the other was walking a poodle. They passed by a bar and wanted to get in, but the bar had a sign that said: "No Dog's Aloud." The guys decided that they would go in as blind men and these were their seeing eye dogs. The guy with the dobermen went in first and the bartender said: "Sorry no dogs aloud." The man answered by saying this was his seeing-eye dog so the bartender let him in. The guy with the poodle went in next and the bartender said: "Sorry no dogs aloud" The man answered by saying that this was his seeing-eye dog. The bartender responded by saying that poodles were not seeing-eye dogs. The man said:

WHAT??? THEY GAVE ME A POODLE???

I changed alittle, because the can't spell the name of the orginal dog(whatever the taco bell dog is)
 
Not that easy... A poodle was much easier ;)
 
Stereotypical joke:

- Father, how come we indians have so strange names compared to others?
-Well, you see my son, those always tell something about the moment,
when the wonder of life happens. Your sisters name is Wonderous Moonlight,
because it was a full moon then. Your brothers name is Thunderfall (no off. intended ;),
because then was an afwul thunderstorm then.
- Gee, thanks dad, I've wondered that from a long time now...
- No problem. But the time's now over nine, so go asleep now, Broken Condom.
 
me neither.

a mathematician joke. let epsilon smaller than zero. :lol:
 
Originally posted by Perfection
What do you call A fish with no eyes?

A fsh

hahahahahahahahahahahaha :lol: :rotfl:
Click to expand...
I get it, It's not that funny though. It is probably better when spoken rather than read
 
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "DARN IT, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
 
A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
 
No joke posted in a week, hmmmm :)



A man was in his front yard mowing grass when hisattractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it then slammed it shut stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again opened it, slammed it shut again.

Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
Are you ready? This is a beauty....:D






My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL
 
When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter showed him to his house; a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds and a tennis court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying the amenities of Heaven.
One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.
"That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?"
"Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred acre estate, a golf course, and three Rolls Royces."
"Were you a Pope, or a doctor healing the sick?" asked Gates.
"No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic."
Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stalked off to find St. Peter.
Cornering St. Peter, he told him about the man he had just met, saying,
"How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I invented the Windows operating system! Why does he deserve better??!!!!"
"Yes, but we use Windows," replied Peter, "and the Titanic only crashed once."
 
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