Kill the user above you

[JohannaK]

And then I decide to make a Safari to hunt some elephants, thing which I do, shooting you in the process.

 

[Sparthage]

You die of happiness after Lauren Faust returns to MLP, this time with the target demographic being 18-35 yr. old males.

 

[SouthernKing]

You die during the events of SA2 when Eggman destroys half the moon.

 

[GhostWriter16]

I grab you and throw you into a misty pit.

 

[JohannaK]

Then i push you into said pit when you're still at its limit.

 

[Sparthage]

Then I yell "THIS! IS! SPARTHAGE!" and kick you into the pit.

Oh, I've wanted to post that for a looooong time.

 

[JohannaK]

But I use the Force to jump over the pit and drag you in instead.

 

[W|M]

I use the Schwartz to drag you in as well and bury you.

I bury you harder than Khrushchev buried the United States.

 

[JohannaK]

But I casually meet Yoghurt in the bottom of the pit, who helps me out with a Spaceballs mechanic worm, which I also use to impale you.

 

[Dumanios]

I kill West India Man, and steal his cigarette to burn your eyes out, before I shoot you.

 

[JohannaK]

But I wear glasses, you fool! So you don't burn my eyes. What's more, I'm also wearing a bulletproof jacket, so you don't kill me.
Then I fake my own death to get advantage of your first distraction to shoot you with my teaser. Then I torture you painfully to death.

 

[Artingel78]

I follow you to your home by jumping from roof to roof (like Ezio from Assassin's Creed) and when you get in I place 7 C4 Explosives on your roof and 7 on the side of your house.
Then I run 1km out from your house and I detonate your house and you die.

 

[JohannaK]

But fortunately I was away from there, as there was a secret corridor to a bunker 500m away, where I tortured Dumanios to death.

So after learning that you blew up my fake house, I patrol the bars searching for mafiosos, who I bribe and torture to find traces leading to your locations.
Finally, I hire a bunch of mercenaries to kill you in the place I had previously arranged and sit with a sniper rifle hidden in a building nearby, from which I shoot you while you are distracted mass murdering the thugs I hired.

 

[Dumanios]

I get better and force-feed you hot pokers.

 

[GhostWriter16]

I send Ron Paul to assassinate you.

 

[W|M]

I send my slave soldiers to attack you.

 

[SouthernKing]

I slit your throat with my Crown.

 

[Yoshiegg737]

I steal your crown, causing you to jump off a bridge for no particular reason

 

[JohannaK]

Then I steal that crown from you and hit you in the head to death with it.

 

[Sparthage]

The crown is actually a Black Hole. Since I'm an alien, I laugh while flying away from the consumed solar system.