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Know any good anti-jokes?
- Thread starter MSTK
- Start date
Achinz
Hermit of Huangshan
Where do you weigh a whale?
In a whale weigh station.
In a whale weigh station.
nonconformist
Miserable
How do you keep an idiot in suspence?
Hang him on a coat hanger.
Hang him on a coat hanger.
Dease
Be Original
Two Sausages were frying in a pan. One says "Maaaan, it's HOT in here." And the other replies, "OMG! A talking sausage!"
My personal favorite:
If a tree falls in a forest, and nobody is around, does it make a sound?
Here's the real question: If a tree falls in a forest, and it hits a mime, does he make a sound?
My personal favorite:
If a tree falls in a forest, and nobody is around, does it make a sound?
Here's the real question: If a tree falls in a forest, and it hits a mime, does he make a sound?
Achinz
Hermit of Huangshan
Or
How do you keep a rhino from charging?
Get a freebie from him.
FireBall
Friendly Ball of Fire
Bill Clinton, George Bush and Al Gore are on a plane. They land safely and deliver their speeches to the public.
Pointlessness
Prince
Saddam Hussein and President George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices 3 buttons on the side of Saddam's chair.
They begin talking. After about 5 minutes, Saddam presses the first button.
A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the 2 countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much else but say "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"
Two weeks pass and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. Asthe 2 men sit down, Hussein notices 3 buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the American's revenge.
They begin talking and Saddam is uncooperative, Bush presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. Bush snickers.
A few seconds later, as Hussein continues his belligerence, Bush presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter.
As things progress, then the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics.
"Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!"
Bush then says through tears of laughter, "What New York?"
Original joke here
They begin talking. After about 5 minutes, Saddam presses the first button.
A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the 2 countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much else but say "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"
Two weeks pass and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. Asthe 2 men sit down, Hussein notices 3 buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the American's revenge.
They begin talking and Saddam is uncooperative, Bush presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. Bush snickers.
A few seconds later, as Hussein continues his belligerence, Bush presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter.
As things progress, then the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics.
"Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!"
Bush then says through tears of laughter, "What New York?"
Original joke here
Brainly
Chieftain
A father elephant, a mother elephant and a baby elephant were walking in a jungle. Suddenly they felt thirsty and went to the drinking pond. They drank and had a very fun and elephanty day.
The next day the elephants were walking in the jungle. Suddenly they felt thirsty and went to the drinking pond. They saw a fallen down tree on the way. The father elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The mother elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The baby elephant asked "Can I try to lift the tree?" but the adult elephants replied "No, your back would snap." They knew another route to the drinking pond and got there. They drank and had a very fun and elephanty day.
The next day the elephants were walking in the jungle. Suddenly they felt thirsty and went to the drinking pond. They saw a fallen down tree on the second route too. The father elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The mother elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The baby elephant asked "Can I try to lift the tree?" but the adult elephants replied "No, your legs would snap." They knew a third route to the drinking pond and got there. They drank and had a very fun and elephanty day.
The next day the elephants were walking in the jungle. Suddenly they felt thirsty and went to the drinking pond. They saw a fallen down tree on the third route too. The father elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The mother elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The baby elephant asked "Can I try to lift the tree?" but the adult elephants replied "No, your trunk would snap." They knew a fourth route to the drinking pond and got there. They drank and had a very fun and elephanty day.
The next day the elephants were walking in the jungle. Suddenly they felt thirsty and went to the drinking pond. They saw a fallen down tree on the fourth route too. The father elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The mother elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The baby elephant asked "Can I try to lift the tree?". The adult elephants replied: "okay. You can try to lift the tree." The baby elephant tried, and it's back, legs and trunk snapped.
The next day the elephants were walking in the jungle. Suddenly they felt thirsty and went to the drinking pond. They saw a fallen down tree on the way. The father elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The mother elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The baby elephant asked "Can I try to lift the tree?" but the adult elephants replied "No, your back would snap." They knew another route to the drinking pond and got there. They drank and had a very fun and elephanty day.
The next day the elephants were walking in the jungle. Suddenly they felt thirsty and went to the drinking pond. They saw a fallen down tree on the second route too. The father elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The mother elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The baby elephant asked "Can I try to lift the tree?" but the adult elephants replied "No, your legs would snap." They knew a third route to the drinking pond and got there. They drank and had a very fun and elephanty day.
The next day the elephants were walking in the jungle. Suddenly they felt thirsty and went to the drinking pond. They saw a fallen down tree on the third route too. The father elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The mother elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The baby elephant asked "Can I try to lift the tree?" but the adult elephants replied "No, your trunk would snap." They knew a fourth route to the drinking pond and got there. They drank and had a very fun and elephanty day.
The next day the elephants were walking in the jungle. Suddenly they felt thirsty and went to the drinking pond. They saw a fallen down tree on the fourth route too. The father elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The mother elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The baby elephant asked "Can I try to lift the tree?". The adult elephants replied: "okay. You can try to lift the tree." The baby elephant tried, and it's back, legs and trunk snapped.
nonconformist
Miserable
Brainly that joke is so unfunny, it's hilarious!
Brainly
Chieftain
It's better when told to someone, when they can't skip over the boring parts as in the text version...
toh6wy
Emperor
A guy walks into a bar and says "Ow!"
genghis_khev
Surviving Monarch Level
Where does Napoleon keep his armies?
Up his sleavies.
Up his sleavies.
Gogf
Indescribable
The actual joke ("What Baghdad?") is actually funny, but "What New York?" is just not funny.
RegentMan
Deity
Okay so the original punchline was "What Baghdad?" That makes sense and is
. But where does New York come in? 
ybbor
Will not change his avata
george bush and Saddamm Husien were in an airplane, flying out of Bahgdad, talking about buying oil. then the plane got shot down
it's supposed to be anti-jokes, right?
it's supposed to be anti-jokes, right?
nonconformist
Miserable
By the look of that post above, Gogf seems to be an anti-joke (joking)
Gogf
Indescribable
Bah 
. I just think that anti-jokes are funny, but having something so totally random that doesn't make any sense at all, well, jsut isn't. I mean, I'm not trying to be mean here, despite how it may sound. I'm sorry if anyone takes this the wrong way.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to think of one.
. I just think that anti-jokes are funny, but having something so totally random that doesn't make any sense at all, well, jsut isn't. I mean, I'm not trying to be mean here, despite how it may sound. I'm sorry if anyone takes this the wrong way.Meanwhile, I'm trying to think of one.
ybbor
Will not change his avata
a crab walks/crawls into red lobster. he asks for a beer, the bartender says, sorry, we don't serve...
things under 18
Bush, Putin and Sharon were on a plane. Bush says "I say we stop at New York to eat" Sharon says "no, we should stop at Jeruseulm", Putin says "no we should stop at Moscow."
so they agree to stop in New York
things under 18
Bush, Putin and Sharon were on a plane. Bush says "I say we stop at New York to eat" Sharon says "no, we should stop at Jeruseulm", Putin says "no we should stop at Moscow."
so they agree to stop in New York
