Know any good anti-jokes?

[DiamanteLouco]

Actually, some cultural differences, 'cause here in BraSil where we were cheering for Iraq the joke was inverted (like, first Saddam goes to Washington and bush hit the buttons and then Bush goes to Iraq and the punchline is Saddam saying "What Washington?")
Just a curiosity. I don't want to offend any american, just pointing that we didnt culturally flipped yet.

 

[Fanatica]

Originally posted by Achinz
Or

How do you keep a rhino from charging?

Get a freebie from him.

OR
How do you keep a rhino from charging?

Cut up his credit card!

 

[l14muk]

Quote Originally posted by Achinz
Or

How do you keep a rhino from charging?

Get a freebie from him.




or
How do you keep a rhino from charging?
dont plug him in

 

[l14muk]

OR
How do you keep a rhino from charging?

Cut up his credit card!

-or-

dont plug him in

 

[Dumanios]

Where does Saddam Hussein keep his armies?


Nowhere,he's dead.

 

[Kennigit]

Where does MSTK keep his 2004 threads?

Nowhere; they're dead.

 

[Lord Baal]

Masochist: Hurt me.
Sadist: No!

I like this. I'm stealing it.

Two Sausages were frying in a pan. One says "Maaaan, it's HOT in here." And the other replies, "OMG! A talking sausage!"

A guy walks into a bar and says "Ow!"

I WAS GOING TO POST THIS!

Quote Originally posted by Achinz
Or

How do you keep a rhino from charging?

Get a freebie from him.




or
How do you keep a rhino from charging?
dont plug him in

Holy mega-bump, Batman!

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an American were having dinner together in the Russian quarter of Berlin in 1946. They finished their meals, paid, and went home.

 

[holy king]

whats green and hollow?

Spoiler :

chives.

 

[CheeseWalrus]

A guy walks into a bar and says "Ow!"

A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

 

[bigdog5994]

Moderator Action: video deleted, poster restricted
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

 

[Love]

Two tomatoes was crossing a road, then i woke up.

 

[Lefty Scaevola]

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Spoiler :

Genocide

 

[ArneHD]

A man was very tired, so he walked to his bed. But when he tried to lay down on his bed, he missed it, and hit himself so hard all his strength seemed to leave him. He tried with one gigantic gathering of strength to get up on the bed, but to no avail. He was so tired after this that he fell asleep on the floor, and when he woke up, his strength seemed to have returned. So he got up and lay down on his bed. But now he was no longer tired.


This is apparently a Russian surrealist anti-joke. So I think that the man in the joke is probably drunk. It fits, doesn't it?

 

[Lord Baal]

A man was very tired, so he walked to his bed. But when he tried to lay down on his bed, he missed it, and hit himself so hard all his strength seemed to leave him. He tried with one gigantic gathering of strength to get up on the bed, but to no avail. He was so tired after this that he fell asleep on the floor, and when he woke up, his strength seemed to have returned. So he got up and lay down on his bed. But now he was no longer tired.


This is apparently a Russian surrealist anti-joke. So I think that the man in the joke is probably drunk. It fits, doesn't it?

The man in the joke was the President of Russia.

 

[Veritass]

Q. How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?

A. The willow tree sways in the wind.

 

[Zack]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

It didn't, it got hit by a car.

 

[_random_]

A Rabbi, a Minister, and a Priest are having an argument about who's best at their job. It ends inconclusively.

 

[Saiko]

Why did the man drive to his office building?

Spoiler :

because it was too far to walk.

 

[Fr8monkey]

A good one to mess with people...

I got a knock knock joke for you. You start!

 

[Lord Baal]

A good one to mess with people...

I got a knock knock joke for you. You start!

In that vein, here's one I've used on people trying to tell me "knock, knock" jokes.

Other person: "Knock, knock."

Me: "I'm sorry, we're not interested in buying anything."