Knowing yourself

[warpus]

In general I think a vague goal must be to feel yourself. I mean in the end, it is all in the feels, isn't it. Intellectual thought can only help (and should be used, of course), but won't solve anything, methinks. To the contrary, I feel, it can often be used to hinder oneself. To hold sth back which maybe should not.

Both are a part of you, and IMO to ignore one over the other would be a mistake, especially when you're trying to understand yourself better. From my experience feeling your feelings, and then using your intellect to attempt to understand this information, is not a bad way to go. I mean, it's often not easy, but how else would you do it?

 

[Live trash can]

Spock rules!!!



no emotions!

 

[Karpius]

I see alot of over thinking in this thread, which is exactly what I used to do when I was younger and contemplating all the complexities of life and my place in it and just who I was.

Now I am older and have found the following four aphorism serve quite well.

1. Never lie. Especially to the person in the mirror.
2. Make hay while the sun shines.
3. You can replace any person, but any person can replace you.
4. If you become a ditch digger, be the best damn ditch digger you can be.

 

[warpus]

3. You can replace any person, but any person can replace you.

There's where lying comes in

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Spock rules!!!



no emotions!

Incorrect. Vulcans have emotions - very strong ones, in some cases. What non-Vulcans (and the RL viewing public) perceive as "no emotions" is actually an extremely disciplined form of control over their emotions.

Of course this may not apply to those Vulcans who successfully complete Kohlinar, but I don't recall any main or secondary characters on any of the shows or in any of the movies who did that. Even Tuvok failed to complete it.

 

[Terxpahseyton]

I see alot of over thinking in this thread

All I said is grounded in real stuff happening. In real experience. That said, over thinking is a problem to watch out for definitely. That is why I warned that the intellect can often be used to hinder yourself / shield yourself then to actually progress. In the end, you just can't think yourself to a different place.
Which brings me to warpus:

Both are a part of you, and IMO to ignore one over the other would be a mistake, especially when you're trying to understand yourself better. From my experience feeling your feelings, and then using your intellect to attempt to understand this information, is not a bad way to go. I mean, it's often not easy, but how else would you do it?

Nothing is to be ignored. But the intellect is only secondary, was my point, I think. That means - it can work with what is there, but it likely won't change much what is there, and likely won't break open new avenues.
But yeah - how else would you do it? That is the freaking trick. There is no list of steps to do. You can just feel and listen and see where this may lead you, I think. Well and then seek new experiences. Key is being in touch with your vulnerability, IMO, and having an open and healthy relationship to it (not to be confused with winy self-pity - big difference)
What one IMO should not do is simply seeking a state of affairs that works. As I already said, to me the most important thing is to feel alive, even if that is at times less comfortable than if things just work. And it is my experience and observation that people are able to cut off a part of themselves, kinda emotionally cripple themselves, and they are not even aware of it, because things work, so it is all fine, right? And they are not even necessarily unhappy. But content. Yet, they wouldn't be, if they realized, what is still there and they have managed to put so far away that it is out of sight. To prevent that or reverse that, vulnerability is the key, IMO.
@Narz posted a really nice video on this topic a while ago. Was a TED talk
I think maybe this one:

 

[warpus]

Nothing is to be ignored. But the intellect is only secondary, was my point, I think. That means - it can work with what is there, but it likely won't change much what is there, and likely won't break open new avenues.

I completely disagree. Without intellect you would not be able to reason through the acquired information and figure out how to proceed in order to improve yourself. I don't necessarily think intellect is the most important aspect of self-improvement, but it does seem rather key. Without intellect you could not improve yourself at all, whereas you probably could if all you had was intellect and nothing else.

 

[Karpius]

vulnerability is the key, IMO.

I watched Ms. Brown's video and I found that she made many good points (especially concerning children). However, I felt her focus on vulnerability was a bit off, especially after how she described the "whole hearted". I got the sense from her that one should be concerned if one is "not in touch" with their vulnerabilities. Recognizing them is important, but we don't need to dote on them, take them out for a walk, review them constantly, coddle them and take pride in how in touch we are with our vulnerabilities. Vulnerabilities are the weaknesses we need to work around to get through our lives. They are never a badge of achievement.

I suppose what I fail to understand is and how and why she (and others) can look at happy "whole hearted" people and conclude their success is because of their vulnerability? I am one of those happy people and I consider myself happy largely because of honesty - with self and the world around me. It is not always comfortable to be so honest, but I would never equate that discomfort with any sort of vulnerability. I am also happy because I always try to do my best at every task I approach. Even if someone isn't going to see or know of my work, *I* want to know I did my best. Why? Because that sense of pride is another huge ingredient to my happiness. But that goes back to being honest in a way. I can always look myself in the mirror and know I did my best.

What one IMO should not do is simply seeking a state of affairs that works. As I already said, to me the most important thing is to feel alive, even if that is at times less comfortable than if things just work.

"What works" is different for everyone, but no one should feel they are somehow 'less' for settling for what works. It often irks me when I hear people tell other people that they *should* have dreams beyond their current life. Suppose they don't? Why should they somehow feel unworthy because they are happy where they are? By today's standards, being content is somehow indicative of failure. Being content does not mean one's dreams go away, but it also means they are not unhappy (or feeling vulnerable).

To me, the formulas are rather simple and largely boil down to the aphorisms I offered in my earlier post. But let me close with one more. It may seem out of context at first, but I will explain....

"Boredom is an insult to one's self."

Basically, if one is bored it is because they don't have the brain power to amuse oneself and need others to amuse them. Likewise, one never needs to feel bad if one has the mental capacity to make oneself feel good. So feeling alive shouldn't take much more than drawing in breath and sensing one's own heartbeat. No great magic trick there and no need to feel something is wrong if there is not great wellspring of emotion. You breath, you feel....you're alive. Everything else is gravy.