Ladies of the Night

[John Bull]

A man stops a woman in the street and asks, 'would you have sex with me for £1000000?' The woman thinks for a while and at length responds, 'Yes, yes I would.' 'Right,' the man says, 'How about for £10? 'No I would not!,' replies the woman. 'What sort of woman do you think I am?' 'We've already established what sort of woman you are;' says the man, 'now we're just haggling over the price.'

 

[Sims2789]

now THAT is funny!

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

I bet that guy got a kick in the groin.

 

[Achinz]

A man approaches what looks like a woman of the night and asks,"Would you accept $10,000?"

Yes," says the woman.

"OK," he says "Now will you accept $10?"

"Of course not," she says "what kind of woman do you think I am?"

"Well, having found out what kind of woman you are," he says "I'm just trying to fix the price."

 

[GenghisK]

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a
park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, "I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."
I said, "Well, then why are you crying?"
She said, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon".
I said, "Well, why are you crying?"
She said, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m.
I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?"
She said, "I can't remember where I live!"

 

[the mormegil]

Though it is a bit disturbed with the 22 year old man and an old lady. How old are we talking here?

Achinz is exactly the same as John Bull's but with with different words. I prefer John Bull's.

 

[Achinz]

OK to make amends, another one:

Four insurance companies decide to amalgamate into one super company and they ask the Heraldry Guild to design a company crest that would reflect each of the constituent companies.

The finished work is finally displayed to the directors and showed a shield with 4 quardrants. Each of these showed a double bed occupied by a couple.

"What's this?" asks the Chairman. "How does this show the identity of the original companies?"

"Quite simple," was the reply. "The first quarter shows a man in bed with his wife. That's Legal and General.

"The second quarter shows a man in bed with his fiancee. That's Mutual Trust.

"The third quarter shows a man in bed with his secretary. That's Employers Liability.

"The fourth quarter shows a man in bed with a prostitute. That's Commercial Union."