Letter of Recommendation

[Dida]

A friend of mine is going to law school, he is asking me to write him a letter of recommendation. He worked for me for a while and I know he is a slacker. As a friend, I love him very much, but objectively, I would not recommend him. He is applying to Univ Chicago, my alma mater. Would it be morally wrong to lie on the letter?

 

[WildFire]

Tell him this

"I don't think I'm the right person to write you a letter of recommendation. Sorry."

 

[Irish Caesar]

I think that yes, it would be morally wrong to lie on the letter. However, if you craft the truth well enough, your friend's feelings won't be hurt by the letter and you will also not be recommending him.

(Does he read the letter? Because that would make a difference in how to write it, I think.)

 

[Dida]

He asked to borrow money from me so often, and I get so sick of this, that I decided to offer him a job as legal secretary. However, he slacked off on the job, sometimes turned in assignments late and always complained about the long commute from his NYC house to my then office in CT. I seriously don’t think he can handle law school, but since that’s his dream, I won’t want to destroy it. Maybe I can ask him to write his own letter.

 

[Irish Caesar]

Or ask him if he can get a letter from his previous boss. I'm not sure if he'd be allowed to write his own...

 

[Steph]

If you really think a law school is not for him, perhaps you should not support him in the field of studies, but help him to find is own way

 

[Marla_Singer]

If you really think a law school is not for him, perhaps you should not support him in the field of studies, but help him to find is own way

Steph is right. And if his answer is that he definitly wants to do that law school, then write him the best letter of recommendation you can imagine.

95% of letters of recommendation are written that way anyway. It's an utterly useless system which is doing anything but promoting elitism. Clearly, what counts the most in a letter of recommendation is the name of the writer. As such, the better are your relations the better-valued will be your letter.

Actually, Pascal Boniface, a very well-known teacher in France at Sciences-Po (The best politic science school in France) who often goes on TV or on radio as an international politics expert, have written a letter for me. Actually, I've just done an internship in his institute of research. He's been very kind with me, he told me to write the letter by myself (he would simply sign it after having read it), and to insist on my personality to strongly give the impression to the reader that I was working directly with him. I've done so, he added a little personal note to the reader with his pen, and few months after I was working at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

 

[stormbind]

Can't you write something nice and omit the negative issues? Nobody is perfect.

 

[Bigfoot]

Would it be morally wrong to lie on the letter?

Yes.

10CL

 

[Dida]

I can say a lot of nice things about this friend of mine, but, law schools are more concerned about how well he will do in law school or in legal practice, namely they want a letter that assess his analytical reasoning ability or ability to work on pressure, etc, rather than hearing 'Dave is a nice person' or 'Dave is a devoted Enviornmentalist'.
But, if he insists, I will probably ask him to write his own, and then edit it.

 

[Marla_Singer]

I can say a lot of nice things about this friend of mine, but, law schools are more concerned about how well he will do in law school or in legal practice, namely they want a letter that assess his analytical reasoning ability or ability to work on pressure, etc, rather than hearing 'Dave is a nice person' or 'Dave is a devoted Enviornmentalist'.

By personality, I actually meant personnal traits in my way to work, to get something different the other letters who all look the same.

But, if he insists, I will probably ask him to write his own, and then edit it.

I think that's the way to go. If your really believe he would not be up to the task, it's important that he insists. In my opinion, abilities are never a problem as long as there's a true motivation behind it. After all, it's about recommending a student to a school where that student will learn, it's not about already recommending a lawyer.

 

[Nobody]

Really help your friend. There is enough problems for people to face and if you can help your mate out then do it. If you don't think hes ready to go to law school then talk to him. But if he wants the letter then write him a nice one. Would he write it for you? Some people might say give the job to the better person even if hes not your friend. But really what are freinds for.

 

[Kayak]

I think that if he and you are really friends that you should explain why you are having trouble with it and ask for his opinion. He may reconsider his request then.

 

[Dida]

I don't have problem recommending my friend to a school, but he seen to wanting to go for law simply because other options are not working out for him. I believe that isn’t a good enough motivation to invest such amount of time and money in law school, think about student loan. Plus, I don’t think law school would fit his personality.

 

[The Yankee]

Or ask him if he can get a letter from his previous boss. I'm not sure if he'd be allowed to write his own...

It's quite common for someone that is asked to give the recommendation to tell the would-be student to write up a letter, then they may or may not make changes to it, then sign it.

Personally, I'd have to be honest. He would have to come up with examples of his worthiness since that employment in order to sway my stance. Or perhaps it will make him try to convince you he's really into this...in which case, you can either recommend or not, due to recent maturity/interest.

 

[Neonanocyborgasm]

A friend of mine is going to law school, he is asking me to write him a letter of recommendation. He worked for me for a while and I know he is a slacker. As a friend, I love him very much, but objectively, I would not recommend him. He is applying to Univ Chicago, my alma mater. Would it be morally wrong to lie on the letter?

It would be better to simply refuse to write the letter. If you have nothing nice to say, it's better not to write a letter of recommendation.

 

[newfangle]

It sounds to me like you are a personal reference Dida, not an academic or employer reference.

 

[Marla_Singer]

It sounds to me like you are a personal reference Dida, not an academic or employer reference.

It seems he's also an employer reference as he has hired the guy in question.

 

[newfangle]

Yes, but not a good one.

Keep the subject away from the whole employment issue and you're golden.

 

[Moss]

I agree with most of what people have said. You said the guy is a friend and you like him, so obviously he has some redeeming qualities...talk about those...why on earth is he your friend? You're his friend first and his boss second I imagine, make sure he knows that as well...