NIGHT FIVE
Sir Galahad (Tasslehoff) was out riding on his invisible horse, with a servant clopping coconuts together behind him for effect. He came upon a Castle, with a shining beacon in the sky, shaped like the Holy Grail.
He knocked.
Galahad: Open the door! Open the door! In the name of King Arthur, open the door!
The door slowly creaked open.
Ladies between the ages of 16 and 19 and a half:
*sweetly* Hello!
Galahad: Oh, hello... sorry to interrupt, but I seek the Holy Grail. Is it here?
Zoot: Oh, you are wounded! Let me fetch you the doctors.
Galahad: THEY'RE doctors?
Zoot: Well, they have a basic medical training.
Piglet: What seems to be the trouble?
Galahad: There's nothing wrong with
that...
Winston: We
must examine you...
Galahad: NO! Torment me no longer... I have seen the grail!
Piglet: There's no grail here...
Sir Galahad raced out of the room, past the room filled with naked bathing women, past the room where they knit exciting underwear, and past the dressing room, and past the undressing room. This was a foul place. A bad place. A wicked, naughty, naughty wicked awful evil place. So naughty. Surely Galahad could stay a bit longer...
GOD: GET ON WITH IT!!!!
Right. So Galahad raced down the stairs into the darkness, where he was greeted by something warm, furry, and wet.
Galahad: Oh my goodness, don't you people do anything besides THAT???
There was a low growl.
Galahad: Look, I took a vow of chastity....
There was another low growl.
Galahad: If you like, I could send the King's army over here to keep you happy, between all the crusades of course.
There was a terrifying roar.
Galahad: LOOK, I don't care how badly you want attention, I cannot break my vows!
Galahad lit a torch and looked into the gaping maw of the grotesque horror in front of him. It was the dreaded, horrible, terrifying, BLACK BEAST OF
Galahad (while carving it on the wall): AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
Tasslehoff was killed.
Just then, another group of three tall knights stepped forward and banged on the doors of the castle.
The women inside took one look at them, and shrieked with fear. They scurried off to their dormitories, where they would unfortunately have to share beds, because they didn't have enough rooms for everyone. What a shame. A terrible terrible shame. They locked the doors to keep the evil ones out, and later, some giggling was heard inside.
But back to the story.
The three knights went down the stairs and located the foul thing.
First Knight: Ni!
Second Knight:
Peng!
Third Knight:
Neeeeeeee-wom!
The first Knight looked at the third knight, and there was a moment of silence. Sadly, the first Knight continued.
First Knight:
Ekke ekke ekke ekke pikang zoom boing!
Second Knight:
NI!!!!
After this onslaught, their victim exploded and was no more.
Catharsis was killed.
The Killer Rabbit wept for the fallen one, and suddenly felt very hungry... and vengeful....
___________________
Just then, God arrived from the heavens and spoke directly to King Arthur.
GOD: ARTHUR.... ARTHUR.... there is one among you who is not performing their duties. You know which one it is.
Arthur: Right. I'll fetch them immediately, my Lord.
GOD: And step on it, I have things to do!
Arthur returned with ZPV.
GOD: ZPV.... you have been charged with the terrible and unforgivable crime of inactivity. How plead you?
ZPV: ......
GOD: I now sentence you to the most horrifying punishment of them all. Prepare to meet your eternal damnation, wretched one!!!
God scooped up ZPV in his massive hand, and also reached down deep into the depths of the underworld, and grabbed the Dark Lord off of his very throne. He lifted the deceiver of men up into the sky, and made him drop his pantaloons. God then shoved ZPV where the sun, and even the brilliant fires of hades, does not shine. The Dark Lord seemed to enjoy the experience for some reason, but ZPV decidedly did not. However, his head would never again be removed from the hindquarters of the prince of darkness, and would be used to warm his delicate fanny. The worst part was that it was chili night, and the devilish one really enjoyed his beans.
ZPV felt the WRATH OF GOD.
God: Fear not, noble Englishmen. I shall find you a suitable replacement. Now, GET ON WITH IT!!!!
Alive: (14/30)
Nictel
choxorn
Paulus III
Snerk
Sprig (survived)
CCRunner
Camikaze
oyzar
hell hound
Izipo
Backwards Logic (survived)
Renata
Love
ZPV (to be replaced due to inactivity)
Lynched: (3/30)
plarq
TheLastOne36
CivGeneral
Murdered: (13/30)
Seon
cubsfan6506
taillesskangaru
Stuck in Pi
Winston Hughes
civplayah
cindle
rhawn
Pinman
Double A
Sithlord447
Catharsis
Tasslehoff
Wrath of God: (Only two so far...)
kill fire
ZPV
Day Six begins now. Please vote within the next 48 hours, the round ends at 2359, Sept 25th, Eastern time USA. (Just before midnight of the 26th)
