well i read it, it is not bad at all........but why are you melancolic.....i think you should try to be more optimist. for example i would have continued the story with the following idea - after sitting maybe even a number of years in the prison the person would not have been broken , but made stronger...so returning to society, a place where people want to die for every single loss - a telephone or a job, the person would find out he has nerves of steel by now and calculates everything with cold blood, becoming some sort of prophet in the eyes of the not tested people. sometimes the test makes the difference; the faith in GOD is composed of tests, not for GOD but for the others to believe. i think you would need such a test - to make you stronger - after it you would see only optimism...
ps always give people hope, encourage them, do not let them down, if they cry, laugh, do not get drowned with the society