mental asylum

[Takhisis]

More stuff that comes to my Dad´s email box...

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug." Do you want a room with or without a view?

 

[Rambuchan]

Are you making fun of people with mental illnesses?

 

[The Person]

No, a smart person would pull the plug. Normal people don't see that it is a trick question. I'm pretty sure that asylum is quite full by now...

 

[Takhisis]

C´mon Rambuchan, why don´t you take your shoes off and relax for a while? I´ve seen too many people with mental illnesses, one is our president, K

 

[sanabas]

Come on, if you're going to make jokes regarding mental illness at least make them believable. I always need more, as sitting around telling jokes is always a fun way to pass the time when I am in psych ward, which has happened more than a few times.

My personal favourite:

Two schizophrenics are sitting around a third floor psych ward plotting to escape (which is also a favourite activity). One of them has a torch, and has a bright idea: "I know, you shine the torch out the window, I'll walk down the light beam, when I get to the bottom I'll shine it up for you to walk down." The other one thinks about it, then yells "Don't be frigging stupid! That'll never work!" "Why not?" "You'll wait 'til I'm halfway down and then switch the torch off."

 

[Rambuchan]

C´mon Rambuchan, why don´t you take your shoes off and relax for a while? I´ve seen too many people with mental illnesses, one is our president, K

I know how to relax thanks. And I know a crap joke when I see one. Quite unlike Sanabas'

EDIT: It's all a matter of taste anyway.

 

[Takhisis]

It´s for sanabas, and
Rambuchan, don´t take it too personally, I´ve really seen people with mental illnesses, and I´ve lost my best friend because of that, ´cos he had a brother (mentally, phisically, etc ********) and because of some discussion about him between our parents we lost contact, and, well, the whole story is much longer and complex, but you get the general idea, anyway, I HAVE seen them and lived with them if that´s what you mean.

 

[nonconformist]

A director of an asylum walks into one of the cells where a numebr of the patients reside.
He sees a man writing, a man furiously gesticulating with his hands in a forwards and back motion in mid-air, and another hanging from the ceiling with his toes.
The direector goes to the man writing, and asks what's happening.
The man points to the first guy; "That's Bill. He's crazy. He thinks he's sawing a log".
Then he points to the second guy; "That's Jerry. He's crazy. He thinks he's a
lightbulb".
The director is astounded by this guy's cohesion, and marks him down for relase. But first he says "Well, help me ge Jerry down; we don't want him to get hurt!"
"Don't be stupid! How would I write without any light!"

 

[Takhisis]

I nonconformist