Military Jokes

[Nagy]

here are some jokes about the syrian army (they aren't that bright, it is scientifically proven)

* new recruits were being trained as paratroopers, the first day, they are given the basic training on the ground.
"you pull the blue rope first. if your chute doesn't open, you then pull the red rope, it will open your auxilliary parachute."
The next day, it they are tested on what they have learned. they are flown at 3000 m.
They start jumping. the first soldier jumps, pulls the blue cord but nothing happens, pulls the red cord, but nothing happens!!! then he sees a soldier that is going up in the air, so he asks him:
"what should i do, i can't open my parachutes"
other soldier:-" how the f**k should i know, i am an explosives expert!"

*The syrian air force replaced the old big fans on their helicopters and installed Air conditionning instead.

 

[Incubus0223]

man those are good one time jokes i had a good laugh but if i heard that agian probably not so funny

thanxs those were nice

 

[nixon]

Murphy's Military Laws

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.

No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.

Friendly fire ain't.

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a
map.

The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.

The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.

If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

 

[insurgent]