My sister is getting married tomorrow..

[downtown]

...and I'm feeling all sorts of things.

Obviously, I'm very happy for her. She's ready, between the two of them, they will shorly have 3 college degrees, they're both mature, and the guy is great.

However, I worry a little how the dynamics of my family are about to change very much. My sister hasn't "lived" with us for several years (and for that matter, neither have I), and our apartments are only going to be a few blocks away from each other next year, but everything is still going to be quite different.

Plus, this has sort of shoved adulthood back in my face again. I'm 20, and already, several of my peers are getting married (not the majority by far, but several). My sis's wedding is not the only one I'll be attending this summer. The idea of me, or several of my friends, being settled down in 5, 6 years...its a little scary to me. Moving out, paying my own rent and food, that was one thing, but this seems to be another big jump.

Do any of you have thoughts to share? Do you guys get what I'm saying? Anybody remember what they were feeling when their siblings and friends started to get married?

 

[warpus]

Don't worry about marriage until you actually meet someone who's cool enough to go with you through that.

 

[Ecofarm]

I get that feeling when a friend dies. That's when I feel I am getting old and have a responsibility to behave so.

Marriage? I would not recommend it until you are in your late twenties or thirties. While this means that you will die when your children are relatively young, it avoids making commitments under limited information. If you are in your 20s and you meet a woman that loves sex, good times, and the same music as you - you think you have 'everything in common'. Later in life, you will discover things that mean more to you as you become aware of your ability to influence things on a grand scale - to become a part of something larger than yourself. I hear an understanding of these things in your mention of the OP couple being mature.

You can be scared of marriage if you want, but it won't stop some chick from tryn to pwn u, so it doesn't do any good - settle down.

Great wedding toast for a groomsman: "I'm not sure what to say; afterall, fifty percent of marriages end in divorce".

 

[Eukaryote]

Great wedding toast for a groomsman: "I'm not sure what to say; afterall, fifty percent of marriages end in divorce".

Not if you read The Five Love Languges by Gary Chapman. I suggest downtown give them that as a wedding present.

 

[Jawz II]

I have a thought. Take the guy aside, congratulate him, but also warn him, if he ever hits her, you'll beat his ass.

No seriously, do.

My only regret growing up, is that I don't get to hang out with my little brother everyday any more. He is so great.

 

[TheDervish]

20 years old is a young age for you to get married, or to even think about it. Even some religiously orthodox communities I've seen have been pushing up the age of marriage. Be happy for your family, and in the meantime make yourself strong for the day when you meet someone you want to marry (that wouldn't be the only reason to be strong, just to clarify ).

 

[The Yankee]

I'm 20

Dammit, you're making me feel old!

But I get what you're feeling. It may not be far off that I'll be sharing an apartment and having such plans for the future. It might be because I'm still young that I feel like I might be stuck in the same routine for all time, but eventually it will slap me and I'll probably be damn happy while making sure to break up the new routine every so often to keep things fresh, even while all settled.

Until then, there's always vodka...

 

[Elrohir]

I think you should become an confirmed eternal bachelor!

I have a thought. Take the guy aside, congratulate him, but also warn him, if he ever hits her, you'll beat his ass.

No seriously, do.

Be more explicit. Something more along the lines of "You hit her, and I'll curbstomp every tooth you have out of your jaw and leave you in the middle of the freeway."

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

I actually have three married siblings, and have not been physically present at the ceremony for any of them. The closest I came was lying on the floor in the church bathroom. Funny how those things turn out.

Anyways, I guess it just gets weird when your younger sibs start marrying. Just one of mine so far, but I expect at least 2 more to get married before me. Probably all 4.

 

[The Yankee]

The closest I came was lying on the floor in the church bathroom. Funny how those things turn out.

Far too tempted to ask for details. Still, I suppose if they found what they were looking for, or thought they were looking for, they'll go ahead and try to catch it.

I'm already older than both my parents were when they married (21 and 19).

 

[GenMarshall]

I'm an only child.

But when I see my friends getting married, I often feel like I am left in the dust .

 

[CaptainF]

Seeing as I'm only 18 I won't be hearing about this for a little while yet amongst my friends, or at least I think.

Some of my older brother's acquaintances (He's turning 21 real soon) are getting hitched though.

Me personally, I dunno. I'd wait until at least the late 20's before I even start thinking, let alone going ahead with one.

And if I do get hitched, I'm gettin' a pre-nup, damnit! I know one guy who's currently got his balls in a vice thanks to a divorce...

 

[Azash]

Matt, even though it feels like everybody'd "zoom ahead" of you, remember that you need to pace your life according to yourself.

 

[shortguy]

I can't exactly relate--my older brothers aren't that close to being married and those few high school peers I've kept some touch with aren't starting to marry--but I remember having a similar sort of odd feeling when my oldest brother graduated from college. I had just finished 10th grade, and I was beginning to drive and think about college. Add to that the fact that my brother was moving away and getting a full-time job, and it was somewhat of an uncomfortable time.