A message from The Lady Nighthawk, as read from her assistant, Jesus II:
"Actually if you've been paying attention we've been flipping between Free Speech and Nationalism every turn, so effectively we are only at +50% culture on average. If there is anyone to blame here its His Excellency of Europa, he has been pumping culture at an alarming rate, which threatens our most holiest of cities Jerusalem. We have had to increase our culture enough to fight him off and keep him from painting OUR desert green. We like our yellow grass, also known as sand and tumbleweeds. If anyone is worried about cultural pressure, it all starts with His Excellency, who seems to want everyone around him to take 3 hour lunch breaks and go on Holiday for weeks at a time to watch 'football' and blow zuzuvela horns that never stop and sound like damned flies.
If His Excellency would hand over Istanbul and Algiers to their rightful owners, this would create a nice natural buffer of the Mediterranean and allow us to reduce our cultural presence. Calcutta would be free to paint its grass red again. Why they would want that, who knows, but those Asians love red. I've heard its a lucky color in East-Asian gambling!"
Nervously he steps from the podium. Jesus II's personal assistant, a mechanical robot named Norm, takes the podium.
Norm, *in robot voice* "I will now be taking questions."
Terribly sorry about that folks, but in my defense, if this game was already running on PBEM-Tracker this whole situation could have been avoided.
.... but the others don't really matter do they?
